emotional abuse in relationships

exquisite

Well-known member
guys, im just trying to figure out....what exactly is emotional abuse when youre in a relationship....? how would you define it? what are some key things to look for?
 
Well that's the question of the day, possibly.

wikipedia states:
'Psychological abuse, also referred to as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that is psychologically harmful. Such abuse is often associated with situations of power imbalance, such as abusive relationships, bullying, child abuse and in the workplace.'

Yeah, I understood that. Right.

Sounds like something I should know about. I do not. Perhaps others can fill in more information.
 

dottie

Well-known member
well, does he lift you up or put you down? if he puts you down, makes you feel bad about yourself, makes you feel guilty if you're with other people, isolates you, plays mind games... that's pretty much emotional abuse.
 

mads

Well-known member
Does he make use of you, does he make you feel bad about yourself, does he critisize everything you do, then it is emotional abuse
 

Damaged

Well-known member
I think i was emotionally abused in my last relationship i was also physically abused.

Anyways my ex used to start of with the snide remarks about my weight which lead to him calling me fat every day, he made me not see any of friends, delete all my guy friends, would tell me if i ever talked/texted a guy friend he'd kill me.
He would tell me that im damaged goods (hence my nickname on here) and no one would be happy to have me after he broke up with me so i should be lucky to have him because hes the special one in our relationship.
Regarding my agoraphobia he would call me nutty, loony, crazy, mental etc


I stuck being with him for a year, and i know how hard it is because you want to get out of the relationship so so bad but i was relying on him so i couldnt do it.
Thank goodness he broke up with me because since then i feel so good about myself.
 

mads

Well-known member
I think i was emotionally abused in my last relationship i was also physically abused.

Anyways my ex used to start of with the snide remarks about my weight which lead to him calling me fat every day, he made me not see any of friends, delete all my guy friends, would tell me if i ever talked/texted a guy friend he'd kill me.
He would tell me that im damaged goods (hence my nickname on here) and no one would be happy to have me after he broke up with me so i should be lucky to have him because hes the special one in our relationship.
Regarding my agoraphobia he would call me nutty, loony, crazy, mental etc


I stuck being with him for a year, and i know how hard it is because you want to get out of the relationship so so bad but i was relying on him so i couldnt do it.
Thank goodness he broke up with me because since then i feel so good about myself.
Glad to hear you are not with this prick anymore.
 

Damaged

Well-known member
Glad to hear you are not with this prick anymore.
Ha i think everyone is, i only came clear to my mum the other week about it all and she noticed how controlling he was.
He still does try to control me by texting me but i ordered a new sim card last week so i can move on even more :D
 

mads

Well-known member
Ha i think everyone is, i only came clear to my mum the other week about it all and she noticed how controlling he was.
He still does try to control me by texting me but i ordered a new sim card last week so i can move on even more :D
Glad to hear that

May his arse itch and may his arms be to short
 
Glad to hear that

May his arse itch and may his arms be to short
^evil :D

I don't understand how some girls can put up with emotional abuse... are some girls so needy? I don't know... All I know is that I would NEVER let ANYONE abuse me, in any sort of way. It's something that I'd rather die fighting than have to put up with again (the reason I have social anxiety). There's nothing worse than having SA for me, so I'm not willing to put up with things that are the cause of it.
 

staticreflex

Well-known member
well, does he lift you up or put you down? if he puts you down, makes you feel bad about yourself, makes you feel guilty if you're with other people, isolates you, plays mind games... that's pretty much emotional abuse.
I would also add strategically withholding affection, not being there for you when u truly need it.


^evil :D

I don't understand how some girls can put up with emotional abuse... are some girls so needy? I don't know... All I know is that I would NEVER let ANYONE abuse me, in any sort of way. It's something that I'd rather die fighting than have to put up with again (the reason I have social anxiety). There's nothing worse than having SA for me, so I'm not willing to put up with things that are the cause of it.
I think they are attracted to the strong personalities.
 

Damaged

Well-known member
I don't think its got anything to do with being attracted to strong personalities but yeah i guess needy has a little bit to do with it.

I mean i developed agoraphobia within a month of being with my ex bf and i was scared and had no clue what was going on with me. Then a few months down the line he was more horrible and even though i could see this i had no one to turn to with my agoraphobia as no one understood.
So as much as i wanted to break up with him, i couldn't because your so scared to be even more alone as you rely on him going out.
 

staticreflex

Well-known member
I don't think its got anything to do with being attracted to strong personalities but yeah i guess needy has a little bit to do with it.

I mean i developed agoraphobia within a month of being with my ex bf and i was scared and had no clue what was going on with me. Then a few months down the line he was more horrible and even though i could see this i had no one to turn to with my agoraphobia as no one understood.
So as much as i wanted to break up with him, i couldn't because your so scared to be even more alone as you rely on him going out.

mmmmm, maybe its that being with those people gives one a subconscious excuse to not socialize or to not do whatever they are deeply afraid of because they are in a relationship which consumes their time instead. idk just rambling.....
 

Damaged

Well-known member
mmmmm, maybe its that being with those people gives one a subconscious excuse to not socialize or to not do whatever they are deeply afraid of because they are in a relationship which consumes their time instead. idk just rambling.....
Maybe in some cases i can see that definitely, but i dont think so in mine because i was hugely sociable before meeting my ex and now am becoming that way again slowly.
 

Castian

New member
When your girlfriend constantly puts you down and tells you you're worthless. That's emotional abuse.

Bullying is crappy enough from strangers; it should NEVER have any place in romantic relationship.
 
If you've never had a strong father figure and are needy, this domineering quality can be appealing at the beginning because it looks like he is showing concern and care. In fact he is most likely to use that as the explanation for his behavior.

Emotional abuse doesn't happen all at once and it's not in a straight line. It can be hard to recognize because the techniques used by the abuser can be so subtle.

They start slowly and gradually chip away at your self worth, independence and autonomy, until your confidence has eroded and you are completely dependent on them.
 

Waybuloo

Well-known member
Emotional abuse can be overt or underhanded. It can be manipulation, knowing the right thing to say that pushes your buttons and make you feel worthless or inferior, use of sarcasm, or remarks with contempt. It can be blackmail as well. Underlying most of that is a control freak or someone with such low self esteem they have to maintain superiority and power over the other. There is a power imbalance in most relationships, one often relies a bit more or loves a bit more, it is not necessarily wrong unless the one with the upper hand abuses it.
 

Rembrandt Broam

Well-known member
Emotional abuse can be overt or underhanded. It can be manipulation, knowing the right thing to say that pushes your buttons and make you feel worthless or inferior, use of sarcasm, or remarks with contempt. It can be blackmail as well. Underlying most of that is a control freak or someone with such low self esteem they have to maintain superiority and power over the other. There is a power imbalance in most relationships, one often relies a bit more or loves a bit more, it is not necessarily wrong unless the one with the upper hand abuses it.
Very well summed up, Waybuloo.

It doesn't even have to involve putting you down. Making you feel guilty for not doing things they want you to do is also emotional abuse. "If you loved me like you say you do, you'd do this one little thing for me....", etc.

I think it's also important to bear in mind that not everyone who does this kind of thing is doing so consciously. With some people, this kind of manipulative behaviour is something they've learnt to do as a survival mechanism, often as a result of bad or abusive relationships they may have previously been in themselves.
 
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