Don't deserve love

[Anomaly]

I feel the same way about needing to improving myself. I think it's called Self-actualization. Here's the pyramid of self-actualization. I think I'm stuck on the second one...

And I'm not sure how you improve from "Super Pretty" either. It may be tough, but I think you can get up to "Super Super Pretty" if you really want it.

IMO that pyramid is a crock of s***.

 

[Pookah]

And I'm not sure how you improve from "Super Pretty" either. It may be tough, but I think you can get up to "Super Super Pretty" if you really want it.

In what areas do you believe you need to improve?

Well I think I can be clingy/annoying and on the flip-side at times I push people away, fall out of touch, do my own thing a lot. I have a lot of useless facts and can be clever but I don't know many practical things because that stuff bores me I guess.

As for looks I would like to be thinner/toner so I feel a bit less like an asexual being. If I wouldn't want to be with me, why should anyone else? And even if they did it would still be in the back of my head....the ridiculousness of someone like me engaging in something like that. Whether it is sex or just affectionate behavior.

So basically I'd like to be more intelligent, capable of fully forming my thoughts into conveyable information and better looking so I feel less self conscious. Some of that may require surgery.

 

[EscapeArtist]

this is the main cause of my problems, but I also agree with Cotton. It's a hard thing to learn, to feel worthy

 

[vj288]

IMO that pyramid is a crock of s***.

Really? I think it makes at least a little sense. Everyone's entitled to their opinions though.

If I wouldn't want to be with me, why should anyone else? And even if they did it would still be in the back of my head....the ridiculousness of someone like me engaging in something like that. Whether it is sex or just affectionate behavior.

I totally agree with that and feel the exact same way. I wouldn't want me as I present myself why would anyone else?

I have a lot of useless facts and can be clever but I don't know many practical things because that stuff bores me I guess.

Yup, exact same thing for me. Always trying to be clever, and I read books filled with useless bits of information. Here's a favorite of mine...

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Well I think I can be clingy/annoying and on the flip-side at times I push people away, fall out of touch, do my own thing a lot.

I don't know about the clingy/annoying stuff (although I have a hard time believing that you could ever be annoying ) but there's nothing wrong with doing your own thing. Not every relationship has to involve the two people being joined at the hip. You just need to find someone who also likes to do their own thing a lot. Then the two of you will complement one another.

I have a lot of useless facts and can be clever but I don't know many practical things because that stuff bores me I guess.

So your potential SO needs to be able to handle the practical stuff. Plenty of people are perfectly capable and happy to do that stuff. Let them.

As for looks I would like to be thinner/toner so I feel a bit less like an asexual being. If I wouldn't want to be with me, why should anyone else?

Because different people are attracted to different things. You may not think that you are thin or toned enough, but to someone else you are perfect just as you are.

And even if they did it would still be in the back of my head....the ridiculousness of someone like me engaging in something like that. Whether it is sex or just affectionate behavior.

I find it kind of sad that you would think that way. Why shouldn't "someone like you" engage in sex or affection? You are entitled to happiness just like anyone else. You are a good and worthwhile person.

So basically I'd like to be more intelligent, capable of fully forming my thoughts into conveyable information and better looking so I feel less self conscious. Some of that may require surgery.

You've always struck me as highly intelligent, and very capable of expressing yourself. And as far as looks go, you don't need to change a single thing. Seriously.

 

[Pookah]

Well it is hard to explain but when I think of myself doing the affection/sexual things with a potential boyfriend type I immediately am disgusted by the thought of myself in those situations. It is a feeling somewhat like embarrassment or shame. What I look like and the contents of my mind seem like such disparate things.

 

[Psychedelicious]

Useless

Nope .

 

[RelentlessHamster]

Ah I forgot about that pyramid anyway Silentknight I feel exactly the same way even-though I don't even bother thinking about it anymore, I try to focus on other things, I know love is complicated at times but love is about human interaction and feelings and we all have feelings and needs

 

[Damaged]

Yeah i can totally relate, but i feel like i don't deserve love or a boyfriend mainly because of my ex.
Sometimes i blame myself for what happened between us and i think that if someone else fell in love with me id make them go the same way (i know i shouldn't think like that because no one deserves to be abused but blah).

I also think with my agoraphobia that i don't deserve love because right now i feel like im failing at life and i don't want anyone to be ashamed to be with me.

 

[RelentlessHamster]

someone once told me that, in order to to be loved, we need to love ourselves first

I guess no-one should blame themselves for a break-up, a relationship is composed by two individuals, I also do the same mistake but seriously we need to accept the loss and move on.

Also everyone's different in a way and react differently to situations, for all of you there's someone who fits you, all you need to do is look for that person or I like to think so I mean it's scientifically possible.

No don't think like like that "Damaged" you need to be positive about it, we all need to fail at least once so that we can succeed later, I guess that's how we learn

"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it." ~Mary Engelbreit

 

[Tiercel]

I can't ever envision someone loving me. Therefore, I am alone.

As long as I think that way, I'll continue to be alone. I'm trying, but it's awfully difficult to reverse 15 years of hating myself.

 

[coyote]

I can't ever envision someone loving me. Therefore, I am alone.

As long as I think that way, I'll continue to be alone. I'm trying, but it's awfully difficult to reverse 15 years of hating myself.

Start by changing the words

Try telling yourself something different instead

 

[Tiercel]

Actually, that was a bit of a slip for me. This year my outlook has been "Why not me?" much more than "Why me?"

I've just been feeling crappy lately and my facade is starting to slip.

Next I guess it'll be my appearance. Then my physique. And finally my mind.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Actually, that was a bit of a slip for me. This year my outlook has been "Why not me?" much more than "Why me?"

I've just been feeling crappy lately and my facade is starting to slip.

Next I guess it'll be my appearance. Then my physique. And finally my mind.

Mind is very determined. Change wanted, change not wanted. Known for years. Will backfire many times. Go insane, you might.

Triumphantly, like me.

Yes, you'll do fine.

 

[Girl_Anachronism]

Wow, I can't believe so many people feel this way! I definitely don't think I deserve love. I'm too annoying and awkward and funny looking. I'm too negative, I would just bring people down.

 

[spect01]

everyone deserves love

 

[vj288]

Wow, I can't believe so many people feel this way! I definitely don't think I deserve love. I'm too annoying and awkward and funny looking. I'm too negative, I would just bring people down.

If that's you in your avatar I disagree, not funny looking at all.

 

[Silvox Black]

I would not know how to love myself, even if it slapped me upside the head. I literally would not know what it feels like.

 

[vj288]

I sense love in the near future but I am not positive....

Well since that was your 777th post I think it is, will miss you when you ditch us for him (you know you will, good thing )

 

[Emma03]

Can definitely relate to this. It makes it that much worse when I see people around me getting married, having kids, seeming incredibly happy and content with their lives...and I just feel completely stuck and worthless. It's a shame that when I am in a relationship, I usually end up pushing the person away.