Does anyone have anxiety because of physical traits?

[Kara2kara]

I'm very shy and anti-social because of my looks. My eyes are crossed because of a condition I have. I'm a 19 year old Asian female and I'm currently in college but I have no friends at all.

I know I'm not ugly, but making eye contact with people is a big part of socializing and communicating and I'm terrified of making eye contact with people because of how my eyes look.

I was always shy but I developed bad social anxiety once I got into college where I didn't know people. I just keep to myself and study. I stay away from people and social events.

I'm really getting depressed.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I have a lazy eye and my pupils are different sizes- my eyes are too big for my eye sockets; and always bloodshot because I don't sleep and have high eye pressure.

I have anxiety about looking people in the eyes partially due to the reaction I expect them to have when they look at them, thinking I'm a drug addict or something.

I have alot of other body issues and BDD but I suppose I could rule that out as 'physical traits' and just call it a mental issue.
It is hard having anxiety about a trait that makes you different.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

First welcome to the forums! Great first post! I can definitely relate with the physical. (my eyes can get bulgy and cross occasionally but not a huge issue)

Some BDD can be natural to come with many issues.

For me, it'd be my ears mainly - which "stick out". Was the bane of my childhood through middleschool. I got over it for many years but and when my self esteem is low, like now, naturally that issue returns.

Now due to a thyroid condition my hair starts to diffusely thin, and I always had fine hair before so that's frustrating to deal with now.

Oh I also have a slight concaved chest (sternum).

But I also know it's easy to harp on the few things that may be more noticeable or ppl have picked on as children/young adults or current adults. It's harder to take notice of the good and positive traits, that usually outshine any of the supposedly "bad" since our minds become tailored towards the negative side of things/views.

So it's really a mental issue more than the actual physical imo.

 

[Etbow23]

i used to be self conscious that i was taller than the other girls.
Sometimes i have it if i look different from everyone else.

 

[Silatuyok]

I have a birth defect that makes it look like some of the fingers on my left hand were chopped off. Basically the bones between the first and second knuckles never really developed. As a child I was extremely self-conscious about it, and up until high school I dreaded whenever one of my friends or classmates would notice it and make a big deal about it. It wasn't until I was nineteen and got engaged that I stopped hiding my left hand from everyone, because I was proud of showing off my $125 engagement ring. ::

Since then, I've mostly forgotten that my hands are any different from anyone else's. It has never slowed me down; I have learned how to create works of art in most types of media, I play the piano, and I have more dexterity than pretty much anyone else I know. There are times when I still feel a tad self-conscious, but I make it a point not to hide it.

In short, I understand where you are coming from, and I can sympathize. But if you can eventually be comfortable with your own physical traits, then you will notice that others will become comfortable with it as well.

 

[bardock]

My teeth i cant laugh or smile so how can i have any friends and also my eyes cross when looking into the distance.

 

[Etbow23]

another thing is the blushing. it's gotten better but i've had issues with my reddish skin turning tomato for no apparent reason. I would pack on the make-up, do anything to avoid it, or try to hide my face with my hands.

This isn't natural, but I've also had a thing about covering my tattoos. They draw questions and i don't really like them so much. I usually cover them to avoid annoying questions from strangers. or if they ask I'm like "i don't know
" like an idiot

 

[Eristelle]

Every physical trait on me gives me severe anxiety.

 

[THeCARS1979]

I have anxiety over my past but if I have to say physically, my hairline, hair loss. I guess Im planning on a transplant. I wear a hat alot. I'm barely 5'8. I have bad eye contact too cause of nervousness and being afraid of what people think

 

[Aletheia]

cringe

i used to be self conscious that i was taller than the other girls.

I was taller than the boys.

In standard four, the only reason I wasn't the tallest (and youngest) kid in the class was because John Salanoa had three inches of afro.

People tended to pat me on the head and call me "son" too.

 

[spaceboy135]

the only way to conquer your shyness and s.a is by completely accepting your looks and changing your beliefs otherwise you will be stuck with it

 

[theslowesthand]

It's nigh on impossible to accept something that should not be

... and that is one such "belief" that would need to be tackled (!)

Maybe try something like 'this "flaw" is what i have always needed for my inner growth as a person'. Or 'this body is "taylor-made" for my mind/personality'.

And try to be ruthlessly positive (for a change?). Cover all bases. Learn to believe it. Only then, will you be "freed" from it.

Difficult, but i don't think impossible (?)

 

[Felgen]

I'm self-conscious about my canine teeth, which leads to me not smiling much.

 

[emre43]

Usually I feel ugly but I think I look quite handsome today .

 

[emre43]

It's nigh on impossible to accept something that should not be.

The only reason it will become impossible is if you continue to tell yourself that.

 

[Falkor]

I'm very shy and anti-social because of my looks. My eyes are crossed because of a condition I have. I'm a 19 year old Asian female and I'm currently in college but I have no friends at all.

I know I'm not ugly, but making eye contact with people is a big part of socializing and communicating and I'm terrified of making eye contact with people because of how my eyes look.

I was always shy but I developed bad social anxiety once I got into college where I didn't know people. I just keep to myself and study. I stay away from people and social events.

I'm really getting depressed.

I know how you feel hun. I also have these ´´thoughts´´ we make them bigger than others percieve them, yet it´s hard to let go.... It seems impossible but there is a way out. it´s just acceptance .... you might should a CBT training for this... or get more MIND FULL through those situations and find relaxation methods...... I have a lot of strategies in my workbook of therapy, so if you want to talk about it, just send me a pm.

About my personal anxiety triggering physical traints i´ve ´´got´´ ;

tired look, tongue ticks, yea i constantly have a dry mouth so constantly touching my mouth, it's getting realllly weird, can't stop my eyes moving, can't focus at one point at the same time..... and i have this weird body language.... awkardly, stupid. Just many tics....

About the Chinese look, I think it's damn cool!

zhu ni guo yigè haotian!

 

[emre43]

Having a physical problem reinforces your psychological and emotional problems. It's something tangible that cannot be ignored or denied. Repressing the truth will only lead to heartache.

It can be both ignored and denied. I am in the same boat as you but I have been making great progress because I have told myself that it doesn't matter; which it doesn't.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

There's a lot of chicken vs egg involved with this. It's pretty hard to find someone who has no physical flaws. Not everyone is so self-conscious of them. Anxiety problems find a focus in physical flaws, and it can cloud the issue of what caused the anxiety.

I've seen numerous cases on here where people really believed their whole appearance was terrible when it clearly wasn't, and when they felt specific things were horrible when they weren't even noticeable.

Sometimes your brain tells you lies because it's malfunctioning.

 

[emre43]

That's very interesting, all the best to you. But my problem has affected my life in very real ways, it's not something I can ignore as I face it's very real influence on my life everyday. We certainly are not in the same boat in this, sorry, but that's the truth.

Are you being bullied? If not then you have no reason to let if affect your life. And if you are then you need to tell somebody about it.

P.S. I'm only trying to help you mate. I wish you all the best.

 

[emre43]

You do not need to be bullied to have it affect your life. It could affect your health, and how others treat you in general. The point I am making is that something that is tangible cannot be ignored. It will always surface eventually, because it is a fact. Contrary to this is Body Dismorphic Disorder, which, like SA et AvPD, is psychological. That's the distinction I am making.

Ok then. I don't know how to respond to that but hope that you can overcome whatever it is.