Does anyone have a hard time balancing their own life with socializing?

[lavender]

Sorry if questions like this have been touched on before.. but I was wondering, does anyone else have a hard time balancing a social life with your interests?
I mean, sometimes I want friends and to socialize, go out and do things, but when I'm given the opportunity to I can't seem to balance my own life and interacting with others (anxiety aside, I mean people I'm more comfortable with).
For instance, say a friend wanted to do something, and I feel like, well, I need to practice piano for a few hours, read, make food, do chores, tend to my guinea pig, and just basic living things take up so much of my time and mind that I can't incorporate other people, and if I try to I get the feeling they think I'm rigid or something..
Does anyone identify with this or anything?

 

[UnofficiallyMe]

I do. I am a home body without all this, and this just adds to it, right?

I guess if I found someone who would want to do the same things, it would be different. I think an SA friend would really help. but alas, I cannot find one near me!

 

[lavender]

I'm going to bump my thread.. hopefully that isn't troll-like. I'd just like to know if anyone else is like this, or maybe it's more than a SA/AvPD thing.

 

[just wanna b normal]

lol you mean responsibilities?

 

[fitftw]

I make excuses to hang out with friends ALL THE TIME. I never see my friends, and once in a while I'll hear from them, and I'll still find a reason not to go see them.

 

[Phoenixx]

I'm the same way. Friends will invite me to things and then I end up finding some sort of excuse not to go.

 

[lavender]

I'm the same way. Friends will invite me to things and then I end up finding some sort of excuse not to go.

I don't really mean it like an excuse, and perhaps this isn't really related to SA. I mean, even with coming on SPW, I can't incorporate socializing into my life much of the time. It makes me feel narcissistic, and I guess in some ways I am, but even if I really want socializing I can't balance anything. I dunno..

 

[Darryl]

Hi Lavender,

I'm sure some things don't have to be done straight away.
End of the day it's about people you care for such as friends, family so spend time with them.

You can have a perfect organised home with can feed the SA- find the balance.

ciao

 

[coyote]

I've been working on my balance alot lately

i got one of those big rubber balls you stand on

I recommend padded floors

 

[awkwardamanda]

Most of my problem is having no balance in life. It's always been that way. I was always so busy in school. I didn't have enough time or energy to see my friends much. I used up most of my time studying and when I had free time I rarely felt like going out. I was constantly stressed. I never got enough sleep. I knew I'd probably feel better if I did get out with my friends a little more, but I was too tired. I just wanted to sleep and relax. Even when I had a boyfriend, he was clingy and took up too much of my time. So I still didn't have an adequate social life. I had no time left just for friends because I had to use the rest for schoolwork. But having no social life and being so stressed made it so much harder to focus on school. Everything took so much longer than it should have. That left me with even less time to spare. Feeling depressed all the time doesn't help either. Nothing changes. I have no motivation to do anything productive and no motivation to do anything fun. It's a losing battle.

 

[Dronee]

What social life?

 

[Feathers]

I can relate to this thread. A lot.
When I was busy with work, I was too tired to socialize, often... (Or just did bad time management maybe? Or maybe had wrong jobs? hmm)
When I didn't have a job, I was too umm, worried what other people might think, especially the ones with jobs and 'lives' and partnered up/with families... I didn't feel like mixing with them.. Or with the rich/wealthy people.. (when I didn't have so much money and had to economize or was saving for some other things)

I did hang out with a friend who wasn't having a great career and was single too.. She always wanted to do boring things though, like sitting in a cafe, talking.. (It's okay once in a while, it can get old for me pretty quickly..) Today we did hang out again, wanted to go to a concert.. She wanted to know about all sorts of things, it was pretty annoying at times - like, 'why does she have to know all that?' (maybe she was just bored? And then she was insulted cause I said why does she have to ask so much, lol?? And I wasn't sure how much other people at other tables heard..)
So... Some people can be stressful to be with, even if you like'em.. (She's great fun sometimes...)
I realized why I didn't like some people in the past, although we did hang out - some of them were pretty judgemental, or negative, it turned out, (or at least made me feel so), I don't like that... or at least very different, and I didn't feel like we had that much in common..

I get very much 'into' things too.. for example, now I'm very much into the eco projects.. And if someone can't be supportive of it, I prefer to not hang out with them, cause it's difficult enough anyway, without someone looking unimpressed and making me feel inferior about it, lol. or grilling me about it, yikes..
So, maybe some of that rings true for anyone else in this thread?

(For example, if you want to practise the piano, maybe hanging out with someone who also loves the piano, going to a concert of a musician you both admire, might be pretty cool?)

I like hanging out with eco people, or at least those interested and supportive... Practising the piano (or doing eco projects) is hard enough as it is, don't need naysayers or such, I guess...
Though sometimes it can be avoidance too, so I'm feeling pretty proud for going out there anyway... (The concert was supposed to be good, but starts too late and too cold!!)

Not sure if it makes sense, for me it's 'boring' to just 'hang out', I need to have a purpose lol... Like 'networking' or 'education' or some inspiring culture events or great music is pretty fine...

 

[fitftw]

I ditch hanging out with everyone I know. This girl asked me yesterday to do something and I said I was busy, and today she just called me but I didn't answer. It's like, I want to do something with her, but I'm just as fine doing nothing in my room...this sucks cuz I feel bad. Even if she doesn't care that I don't come out, I still feel bad.

 

[Kiwong]

My social life is based around the things that interest me. That way the people I share time with have a common interest.

 

[Darryl]

My social life is based around the things that interest me. That way the people I share time with have a common interest.

Brilliant