Do your coworkers often socialize outside of work and try to pull you along?

sevenroses

Well-known member
Just wondering whether your coworkers often socialize outside of work and try to pull you along with them? Do you like it when that happens? Does it scare you a tiny bit that every time they see you at work they might ask you out regularly? It kinda sucks that a coworker, who I'm not too close with, kept asking me to come to his house this Friday for his 1 hour business presentation he wants to present to some people. I did make an excuse that I might attend a "birthday party." He had the nerve to tell me not to worry and that most parties start after 8pm anyways and to just spend 1 hour of my time listening to his business presentation. I finally agreed after he kept asking for days and even called me at work today to see whether I was going. I just hope it goes well and that it's just a one time thing. I don't want commitment or having to go to his house now regularly every Fridays :( Hope everything turns out well and sorry for sounding so negative. I just have a lot of things on my mind and not my "normal" self.
 

Looking_in105

Well-known member
yes, i do hate that sometimes...being pressured into going out.

BUT, im not sure if i'm more hurt if they ask me to come out, or they don't ask me to come out when everyone else was invited ?)
 

sevenroses

Well-known member
What's ironic is that I was the only person he asked out. Maybe he knew I wasn't the type who would easily say no or already knew I was the type of guy who wouldn't have plans over the weekend. I unno, I really do like my alone time. I scare myself sometimes when I realize how really introvert I am.
 
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I'm sorry to say if its just you he asked, he probably thinks that you are the 'easiest' to pressure into comming along...i mean lets be honest who's gunna agree to come along to a boring business presentation at someones house?? not many...to him you are the easiest/weakest target i'd say going by the fact that he normally doesn't have much to do with you....it makes him look better the more people that come along to his little presentation...he also knows if its not in work hours then most people will just come up with some lame excuse not to come along..so don't feel oblidged to go.

having said that when an informal social get together is organised by someone ouside of work, and i'm the only one not invited hurts me alot more then if i'm pressured to go.
 

sevenroses

Well-known member
Wow I just came from my coworkers place and I kind of feel stressed and disappointed. There were a couple of business men who gave a presentation in starting your own business by selling phones. They even asked new comers/visitors like me if I was available on Saturday for another meeting and I said no because I have Church. They even had the nerve to tell me what time is Church and they also said "Church on Saturday??" They even asked whether I'm available on Mondays. I also made some excuse that I'm too busy and not really committed. They eventually asked me when am I free, so I told them Fridays. These guys also made me write down my contact information so they can call me up again. They also pressured me to sign this form and to write down that I was sponsored by my coworker. I also worry that every-time I would see this coworker who invited me to this business meeting in the first place, would keep pressuring me to come back to more meetings. I kind of feel stressed and my defenses are much higher than before. I hate this feeling and I'm just piling more stress in my brain on top of other stresses I have. Thanks for all the comments I really appreciated them. Sorry for this rant.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
Occasionally. I hate having to say no. I think people after all these years get the picture and don't bother anymore. It's not that I feel that I'm missing out. If it's Friday I just want to start the weekend, not spend time with work colleagues I don't know very well.
 

Aussie_Lad

Well-known member
Wish I had seen this topic sooner. I would have warned you that it was an MLM thing, and it is a shame that they didn't make it clearer what you were in for because this is partly what gives MLM a bad name. I think they may have seen you as an easy target, so probably used you to practise on before going for those that would be more suitable in their business.

If you get any hassles at work, just make it clear that you are not interested in going into business with them. They will probably forget about it in a little while anyway, becuase they sound needy and only in it for themselves, and that will never spell out success in any MLM business.
 
People at work all the time try and get me out now. They like saying I'm wasting my youth, I just call it Biding my time.

Anyway yeah, I usually just say I really can't be arsed or just come up with a pathetic excuse and they accept it.
 

Looking_in105

Well-known member
Wow I just came from my coworkers place and I kind of feel stressed and disappointed. There were a couple of business men who gave a presentation in starting your own business by selling phones. They even asked new comers/visitors like me if I was available on Saturday for another meeting and I said no because I have Church. They even had the nerve to tell me what time is Church and they also said "Church on Saturday??" They even asked whether I'm available on Mondays. I also made some excuse that I'm too busy and not really committed. They eventually asked me when am I free, so I told them Fridays. These guys also made me write down my contact information so they can call me up again. They also pressured me to sign this form and to write down that I was sponsored by my coworker. I also worry that every-time I would see this coworker who invited me to this business meeting in the first place, would keep pressuring me to come back to more meetings. I kind of feel stressed and my defenses are much higher than before. I hate this feeling and I'm just piling more stress in my brain on top of other stresses I have. Thanks for all the comments I really appreciated them. Sorry for this rant.


These people sound really annoying and pushy

I would just say something along the lines of 'look, im not really interested in this thing in case you hadn't noticed, however good luck with it.'

But they do seem very pushy. Next time this happens, don't give them your contact details cause once they know they can get things like this off you, there's nothing stopping them!
 
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Ignace

Well-known member
Here too. They know all my excuses already in school, so lately I just ignore the questions .. Just smiling it away seems to work. :)
 
I think that some of my coworkers socialize and get together outside of work. I've never been invited, much less felt "pressured" into going to anything. My whole life I've never really gotten invitations, which does sting a little. It leaves me thinking "Do I really seem that closed off and unapproachable?" Of course the answer is yes.
 

Rodney

Well-known member
The best thing you can do is tell your coworker that you aren't interested and you don't want to be part of the business in any way. The longer you wait the worse it's going to be. Anything where people come and give presentations at your house and ask you to join is a scam.
 

coyote

Well-known member
Wow I just came from my coworkers place and I kind of feel stressed and disappointed. There were a couple of business men who gave a presentation in starting your own business by selling phones. They even asked new comers/visitors like me if I was available on Saturday for another meeting and I said no because I have Church. They even had the nerve to tell me what time is Church and they also said "Church on Saturday??" They even asked whether I'm available on Mondays. I also made some excuse that I'm too busy and not really committed. They eventually asked me when am I free, so I told them Fridays. These guys also made me write down my contact information so they can call me up again. They also pressured me to sign this form and to write down that I was sponsored by my coworker. I also worry that every-time I would see this coworker who invited me to this business meeting in the first place, would keep pressuring me to come back to more meetings. I kind of feel stressed and my defenses are much higher than before. I hate this feeling and I'm just piling more stress in my brain on top of other stresses I have. Thanks for all the comments I really appreciated them. Sorry for this rant.

like others have said - this isn't "socializing"

they're trying to sell you something

don't feel guilty about saying NO
 

Feathers

Well-known member
Yup, I was going to ask, 'Are they trying to get you to sell Amway stuff?'

These people are not in for socializing, they're in for easy profits..
Some of these schemes can be quite shady and even 'brainwash' people - or just get them to part with big amounts of money.. Google the company and read up on MLMs and pyramid schemes (or watch the anime Welcome to NHK, in the later parts he gets swindled into an MLM scheme too.. - around episode 18)

I or the family or friends were approached by people with something like this too, know that people try with anyone they think might be even a little interested.. They get points or % if you do join up.. So just be firm about it and say, 'Not interested'..
Don't give'em any info on what church you go to or when you are free or your life or any people in your life..

They might even be legit but products may be overpriced or not as 'wow' as they are trying to make it sound.. (You can probably find this info online if you google them) So just sort of 'pull away' and focus on other things.. You can maybe even say your wife or cousin (or mum) said it's a 'No go' and you mustn't get involved with anything shady like this (hm? :)) You could also say you've got other things on Fridays, if pressed.. ('Something came up', you don't need to explain..)
Be very careful and don't sign anything from them, especially without reading any small print..

If anyone, then your co-worker can be ashamed for pulling you into something like this!!
 

sevenroses

Well-known member
Thanks everyone for the replies and for convincing me not to feel guilty that I did something wrong. I hated the approach these guys had because us visitors were put on the spot numerous times. After the presentation one of the businessmen asked all of us in the circle what we liked about the video. Then he asked us about our availability one by one in a circle. So we were always put on the spot. It was really awkward how I stuck out of the group because my I tried to make a lot of excuses that didn't sound so real. After the presentation was done the speaker showed me a magazine with pictures of all the people who became millionaires selling this phone. He also had the nerve to ask me my schedule at work. I lied about how I work split shifts everyday I worked. I think my coworker even looked at me when I said that. But I had to say it for my own sake. He also had the nerve to ask me whether I can change my schedule into days so I can maybe commit selling phones at night. I still feel like a bad person after I left making all these excuses while the other visitors kind of agreed to everything. I still haven't encountered my coworker who invited me there in the first place but I hope its won't be awkward and that he would still talk to me after the way I acted and how I declined everything. If my coworker asked me why I haven't joined I wont be impressed. I'm a shy guy who likes to bottle up emotions and eventually I can explode. Anyways thanks everyone for really helping out and reminding me that this is all just a bad scheme and helping me not to feel so guilty. I highly appreciate it. Thanks.
 

PurpleOne

Well-known member
I am around a lot of black people. So no, especially if you're black or mix with black. Not trying to bash black people, but most of them don't accept people that are social phobic (if i said it right). I guess because most of them are loud and or social butterflies. That's want i want to be :D
 
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