Do you think confidence is related to how seriously people take you

[KiaKaha]

I think it is...
Ahem, let me just clear my throat here....get my notes...

Right...

See I reckon right, confidence is a two way game. You could either project confidence or genuinely feel confident but would it really matter if the world outside yourself discounts who you are...for whatever reason?

What I mean is - I think confidence or appearing confident is somewhat determined by how people will perceive you, and therefore treat you accordingly. If people dont take you seriously - then how are you supposed to come across as confident and capable?

Now I dont mean to be nasty and superficial - but I need to illustrate this point a little bit. Who out of these two guys would you deem as more capable - who would come across as more confident DESPITE how they may feel about themselves on the inside?

or

I know I know - I feel awful, but come on you all must know what I am trying to say here...

 

[gustavofring]

First picture doesn't work.

 

[KiaKaha]

First picture doesn't work.

I changed the source image - it should work now hopefully.

 

[gustavofring]

Those are a bit exaggarated and extreme examples lol.

I do think it's fully possible for geeky looking people to be confident. For example, they may not have the best looks, but they might excell in something because they focus all their energy on that instead of looking good.

If you had to hire a very good software programmer would you go for the good looking, well spoken guy who looks at himself in the mirror 30 times a day and is very image concious, or the computer geek who doesn't really care about his appearance, but is supergood at what he does and passionate.

Confidence can come in many shape and forms and isn't necessarily only possible with movie star looks.

And as for your question, strangely, the guy with the glasses seems just as confident as the goodlooking guy. Otherwise he wouldn't be comfortable smiling like that. Instead he would just look timid and miserable (I don't want this photo to be taken-look).
In fact he seems like a guy who doesn't take himself too seriously and knows how to be ironic and make fun of himself. I know this can be a turnoff for many people, but I like that quality. Unless he is of course really simple in the head and the photo isn't ironic, lol.

 

[KiaKaha]

^^ yeah - it is an extreme example but I did so to illustrate my point. Although its not JUST about looks, thats the only thing I can think of at this moment to get the point across that confidence may be related to how you are perceived.

 

[Valhalla]

************

 

[gustavofring]

^^ yeah - it is an extreme example but I did so to illustrate my point. Although its not JUST about looks, thats the only thing I can think of at this moment to get the point across that confidence may be related to how you are perceived.

Okay then I understand your question better. The photo examples made it kind of more looks-related.

Yes I do think confidence is key to how seriously people take you. Timid and shy people generally aren't seen as people who can get things going.

Like for example, people in my house never turn to me whenever there's something wrong (like a broken washing machine or something). They will instead turn to the more outspoken and confident guy. With me, they're probably like, he's timid, doesn't have much of a social life, and is generally a bit of a loser. Even if I knew how to fix the washing machine, they would be more comfortable to ask the other guy.

 

[Canis lupus]

I completly agree with you. There aren't many things I'm confident about and the few things I am people take me for an idiot. For example I'm very confident when about my ideas concerning nature, animals and the human species. I'm 100% sure the world would be much better of if humanity would just die out. I'm also very confident when talking about the human overpopulation and that humans live way too long. I'm very confident when I fight for equal rights between humans and the other animal species. All those things are very important to me and give me the strength to keep fighting but practically every time I try to stand up for my believes I'm being ridiculized, attacked or threatened, even had several death threats. I stay very confident in my beliefs but often don't have the confidence to stand up for them, afraid of what reactions I might get.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Well... a leader must be confident in their decisions-- confident in themselves for people to see them as a suitable leader and follow them without question, right?

Isn't that kind of the same thing?
You take someone seriously when they take themselves seriously... kinda.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

I dunno, they both look pretty confident to me. I think confidence is shown more through presence, body language and tone of voice. It's not so much their physical looks, although people do tend to admire/respect others with good looks and fashion sense a lot more.

 

[coyote]

no - your confidence doesn't come from someone else

people perceive you as confident because you project confidence, not the other way around

that would be like saying your level of intelligence depended on whether people think you looked smart

 

[KiaKaha]

no - your confidence doesn't come from someone else

people perceive you as confident because you project confidence, not the other way around

that would be like saying your level of intelligence depended on whether people think you looked smart

Its not about looks - its about how people perceive you is what I am trying to get at - The way you look is just being a contributor toward the image you portray but there are other elements as well. If you had all the confidence and self belief in the world - but people still treated you the way that they thought you were, by way of biases and prejudice and what not - then wouldn't that simply negate any confidence you have? I think it would.

If you werent taken seriously, then would confidence really matter at all...?

 

[Srijita52]

I dunno, they both look pretty confident to me. I think confidence is shown more through presence, body language and tone of voice. It's not so much their physical looks, although people do tend to admire/respect others with good looks and fashion sense a lot more.

So I'm not the only one who thinks they both look confident?

 

[coyote]

If you had all the confidence and self belief in the world - but people still treated you the way that they thought you were, by way of biases and prejudice and what not - then wouldn't that simply negate any confidence you have? I think it would.

it wouldn't necessarily negate your own feelings of confidence

those are your feelings to have about yourself

your choice to feel that way or not

If you werent taken seriously, then would confidence really matter at all...?

it would matter in terms of how you felt about yourself

in fact, i would say that the very definition of confidence is not caring whether anyone takes you seriously or not, and going ahead and doing what you believe is right anyway

 

[bcsr]

Other people's perception of and actions towards you definitely affect your confidence. If it was as simple as choosing to be confident then everyone would do so.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Its not about looks - its about how people perceive you is what I am trying to get at - The way you look is just being a contributor toward the image you portray but there are other elements as well. If you had all the confidence and self belief in the world - but people still treated you the way that they thought you were, by way of biases and prejudice and what not - then wouldn't that simply negate any confidence you have? I think it would.

If you werent taken seriously, then would confidence really matter at all...?

Image is important, because it's what people base their first impressions on. In the two images you posted, the second guy projects an image that people would associate with a confident, capable individual. Most people would expect the second guy to be confident even before he said or did anything, because that's the image he's projecting. The first guy is projecting a more nerdy image, which is not one that most people associate with confidence. (At least not social confidence. They would probably assume he'd be just the guy to get their computer to work. )

 

[shyness123]

I think it is...
Ahem, let me just clear my throat here....get my notes...

Right...

See I reckon right, confidence is a two way game. You could either project confidence or genuinely feel confident but would it really matter if the world outside yourself discounts who you are...for whatever reason?

What I mean is - I think confidence or appearing confident is somewhat determined by how people will perceive you, and therefore treat you accordingly. If people dont take you seriously - then how are you supposed to come across as confident and capable?

Now I dont mean to be nasty and superficial - but I need to illustrate this point a little bit. Who out of these two guys would you deem as more capable - who would come across as more confident DESPITE how they may feel about themselves on the inside?

or

I know I know - I feel awful, but come on you all must know what I am trying to say here...

Yes, you are right, confidence is related to how seriously people take you. I used to work at a job where one of the employee's did not take me seriously and therefore would not give me any responsibility like she did the other employees because I was quiet, shy and unsure of myself and the decisions I made. Thank God I left that job and am now at a job where I learned to be more confident in my actions and my decision making and things are much better.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I strongly agree with coyote. I think what you mean only applies when you already have no confidence at all: then if someone start taking you seriously, you'll start gaining a bit of confidence. But you already had none to start with. If you're confident and everyone laughs at you, I'm pretty sure you'll just think you live in a world of morons.

 

[KiaKaha]

it wouldn't necessarily negate your own feelings of confidence

those are your feelings to have about yourself

your choice to feel that way or not

it would matter in terms of how you felt about yourself

in fact, i would say that the very definition of confidence is not caring whether anyone takes you seriously or not, and going ahead and doing what you believe is right anyway

Not necessarily thats true - confidence does come from within, but what I am saying is that despite having all the confidence in the world, how people see you will determine whether or not that confidence will be valid.
Confidence is the sense that you believe in yourself and is the gateway to opportunity - the lubricant to make life a bit easier, but despite having confidence the image you portray (not the confidence itself) - would play a large part in the success of your life and of the opportunities that are presented to you.

 

[9407]

Yes. Since I had a lisp when I was younger, people would constantly make fun of me and mock the way I talked. It definitely destroyed my confidence even though I don't have it anymore.