Do you have a paid job?

cobalt_bluester

cobalt_bluester

Well-known member
Hi,

I was wondering how many of you are employed and in work, and how many of you cannot work due to your social phobia/anxiety etc.

I currently do not work because of depression, anxiety and social phobia. I really want and need a job but am finding it tremendously difficult to move forward. My depression is very bad and I can't help thinking that if I did go to a job interview they would not hire me for looking so troubled and down. I hate my stupid brain, it's my worst enemy and I wish I could replace it with a new one as it's so messed up!!!

Regards

Richard
 
this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
I have an extremely part-time job (as in, I barely get in 12 hours a week on average) working in a library.

Thankfully, SA hasn't made it so I just can't work at all, but it makes it hard to socialize in better jobs I've had so I can make connections and move up the whole corporate ladder (and thus earn more money).
 
cobalt_bluester

cobalt_bluester

Well-known member
this_portrait said:
I have an extremely part-time job (as in, I barely get in 12 hours a week on average) working in a library.

Thankfully, SA hasn't made it so I just can't work at all, but it makes it hard to socialize in better jobs I've had so I can make connections and move up the whole corporate ladder (and thus earn more money).
Click to expand...

I am looking for part-time work but it's going to be very tough for me as I have pretty bad depression and suffer quite badly from stress too.
 
D

daisydaydreamz

Active member
Hiya. I have not one paid job, but three!... I have been a bit of a misfit all my life but apart from 4 years off to raise 2 children and one month off with depression I can say I have worked all my life. However there is work... and there is work. Because I have AvPD and extremely low self esteem I have only ever done repetitional factory work or cleaning. (I currently do 3 cleaning jobs)
I wish I wasn't so scared of messing up or taking on a big responsibility so I could do a job that would use my brain and be rewarding.
I am not complaining however because, going out to work, thus getting out of the house, feeling useful and occasionally interacting with others is no doubt a healthy thing to do and it stops me getting low.
Keeping busy, therefore not allowing oneself time to dwell on negative thoughts is a natural antidote to depression, I am sure.
 
lurknomore

lurknomore

1
I have two paid jobs, both part time, one at minimum wage and the other at just under $10 an hour. So yes, I'm able to work, but I'm barely making ends meet and it's impossible to pay down my debts and student loans. I have a masters degree, but the thought of applying for another job(s) and going through interviews is so daunting and overwhelming I rarely even check the job ads, they all say minimum experience anyway, and even when I do find some and apply, I don't hear back, so I haven't even had an interview in a few years (I graduated in 2009).

As far as how SA/avoidance affects me while I'm at work- I barely talk to coworkers, can only interact with customers by a "script" of the things I'm supposed to ask/say, have no friends, and can barely speak to my managers/supervisors when I need to. Overall I feel very pathetic and hopeless.
 
mikebird

mikebird

Banned
There are loads of jobs up north for me, all over Lincolnshire and further north and west... Leeds... and Newcastle. I always said Manchester was too far away.

I'd go to any lengths to do what I'm good at. Most recruiters and employers would put me aside if it's too far
To be accepted is too impossible. When I make a start, I get booted out far too soon. I'd find a B&B next to the office, but I can't trust any employer

Something I've always wanted to do between any friends in life is to ask their salary

I'd not do so of those in the same workplace - I'd see that as improper, but, I would be very happy to exchange and reveal everything about mine. Perhaps such things could start politics and uproar - no idea why. The BIG Manager people have to control everything, promoting certain policies, and ensuring anything beyond what is set in the rules must never happen.
I find that very immature

People's status is determined by their family produced, cars owned, size of property...

There's more to than just salary, and I suggest to friends to try freelancing... etc on your own initiative... but nobody listens. Salary and meek benefits are all about marrying your company and staying loyal.

Doing what you want is important. Only one person has ever told me what his salary is. When he knew I had nothing. It's important to share - a friend who is a Chief Tech Officer of his own company, and won't say a single word about what he does, at all, unless I prise that from him. His family says he's under a lot of pressure

I've learned that all times we go out or visit at home, nobody ever says a word about 'their work'. I find that BIZARRE! I like to know what it is all about (when I was busy) but all this is hidden and avoided, as if they hate their work, or it's boring? To never discuss beyond the workplace. I don't get it.
 
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FeartheGreat

FeartheGreat

Well-known member
Yeah I'm in the same boat as you. I also despreatly need a job. I have bills to help I family pay and things I want to buy, student loans I need to pay etc. But god, my SA cock blocks my at every turn. Thank goodness my mother pays for most of the things, but I feel so horrible as she is getting older and not working anymore. We basically live off her disability checks. I am basically the only able-bodied person in the household left who can work (I live with my mother and great uncle). Sometimes my sister helps out too. My brother is off in his own world. But the point is, I need to help out as well now and be able to buy things for myself as a 23 year old. But... I'm just too scared. I can't keep up with this fast-paced modern day working world. I never could... The world is just too scary...
 
L

laure15

Well-known member
^Same here. By the time I graduate, I will have spent roughly 6 years in uni. I have student loans to pay but I'm delaying them with school, plus I kept on changing my major over the first 3 years. My SA makes me give off weird vibes and prevents me from successfully interacting with people. I know many people didn't like me when they first met me.
 
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MistMoon

Active member
Hi Richard!

I have a part-time job at Kohl's, but my hours have been cut significantly to the point where I'm only working once or twice a week. Sometimes the shifts last only 4 hours too.
I'm under pressure by my loved ones (and myself really) to find a full-time job, as I have graduated college in December with a BA in Liberal Arts and Sciences. The college loans will soon be rolling in.

My SA and overall poor self-confidence is preventing me from putting in enough effort to find a full-time job. I am afraid of being unable to pay my loans and also being unable to move out of my parents house, but I am also terrified of actually FINDING a job and being judged by potential employers. And then, there's the fear of failing once I actually GET that job.

Everywhere I look, there's entry-level jobs with requirements that are downright terrifying for SA sufferers.

"Looking for someone that thrives in a busy, high pressure environment."
"Able to pick up complex tasks quickly" (seriously, what do they expect, a robot?)
"High school diploma required, as well as 2-3 years of experience" (WTF? How is a person with a high school diploma going to ALREADY have 2-3 years experience?)
 
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W

w*n*c*a*m

Well-known member
I have a paid part time job. I only work 3 days a week but all long shifts.

Every first day of work, I can't wait for the third day to come so I can end my misery. I know I shouldn't complain since my job's a routine and not that complicated. However, I can't stand the social interaction part, I can manage my clients but not my colleagues.
I'm sure they find me weird, timid, and incompetent.

I'm not that confident about my work but I know I'm not that bad but I feel extra sensitive when my colleagues whine or look exhausted. I always feel that I'm to be blamed for their inconvenience so it gives me more pressure. I couldn't relax at work because if I do, I feel like they would complain that I'm not hardworking enough even if some of them are laid-back.

I did get complaints from them work-wise, especially on my first few months. I was too panicky and unfamiliar with work so I often did stupid things. I have improved a lot although I still do some occasional mistakes which is not a big deal since nobody's perfect anyway. However, I got traumatized with my past failures so when I commit mistakes now, I immediately feel sooooooo down and depressed which affects my concentration and makes me do more silly things. I always remind myself that I should focus on my work and not please my colleagues but I just couldn't help it.

At the end of the day, I get so physically and emotionally exhausted. This would go on for the duration of my long breaks, then I would be fully recovered. But then the first day of work would arrive again and so another cycle of struggles begin.

How I wish that I could find a job that matches my skills but would give a decent pay and less social interaction. :(
 
LoyalXenite

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
No job but i study full time. My problems do make it hard to attend the tutorials and to keep up with the work.
 
mikebird

mikebird

Banned
MistMoon said:
Hi Richard!

I have a part-time job at Kohl's, but my hours have been cut significantly to the point where I'm only working once or twice a week. Sometimes the shifts last only 4 hours too.
I'm under pressure by my loved ones (and myself really) to find a full-time job, as I have graduated college in December with a BA in Liberal Arts and Sciences. The college loans will soon be rolling in.

My SA and overall poor self-confidence is preventing me from putting in enough effort to find a full-time job. I am afraid of being unable to pay my loans and also being unable to move out of my parents house, but I am also terrified of actually FINDING a job and being judged by potential employers. And then, there's the fear of failing once I actually GET that job.

Everywhere I look, there's entry-level jobs with requirements that are downright terrifying for SA sufferers.

"Looking for someone that thrives in a busy, high pressure environment."
"Able to pick up complex tasks quickly" (seriously, what do they expect, a robot?)
"High school diploma required, as well as 2-3 years of experience" (WTF? How is a person with a high school diploma going to ALREADY have 2-3 years experience?)
Click to expand...

Indeed! Along with excellent interpersonal communications!!! :bigsmile:
 
getthejoj

getthejoj

Member
I work an average of 32 to 35 hours a week as a prep cook and dishwasher at my local senior center. It'shard to believe that me and one other cook can make 400 meals a day, wash dishes, clean, prep, and sometimes serve in under 7 hours a day, but we do (am I bragging here?) The job is low paying and the place is falling apart. Oh, the stories I could tell of cheap and broken equipment, cheap food, and annoying coworkers. My lack of brains and fear of the outside world will probably prevent me from finding a career in the real world, but at least I can die knowing I helped provide poor senior citizens a cheap meal.
 
Niteowl

Niteowl

Well-known member
Yes, I was extremely fortunate in how things worked out.

I was doing a level 1 award in Business Administration, and when this was coming to an end in November, I was told that there was an opening for an apprentice at the main training centre, where my assessor worked the rest of the week. She just gave me an application form and I filled it out. I gave it back to her and a week later, I'd been sent a date for an interview. I had the interview (didn't even worry about it when my mum started fussing over what I would wear) and then another week later, I'd got the place. I've been there four months now, and I'll be there another eight.

I work 24 hours a week over 3 days, but mandatory training brings it up to 30 hours, which I'm paid for.

I just feel like I did nothing to get the place. I believe it was pure luck that things worked out like that. It shows though how things can sometimes work out if you open yourself up to opportunities. I didn't really want to do the level 1 award when I was encouraged to do it, but I gave it a go and that's gotten me where I am at the moment. So... don't give up, any of you. As I learned, you just don't know how or when things will work out for you.
 
cobalt_bluester

cobalt_bluester

Well-known member
MistMoon said:
My SA and overall poor self-confidence is preventing me from putting in enough effort to find a full-time job. I am afraid of being unable to pay my loans and also being unable to move out of my parents house, but I am also terrified of actually FINDING a job and being judged by potential employers. And then, there's the fear of failing once I actually GET that job.
Click to expand...

I am applying for jobs, but like you am absolutely terrified of finding a job and then being judged by employers and coworkers etc. I suffer from severe depression and I think my face gives it away! In the past I have been told to cheer up, but they don't realise that depression is a medical illness and it's not just simply a case of cheering up if I could cheer up I would!

My advice to you would be to go ahead and apply for jobs even though you are very scared of doing so. Good luck!
 
S

spearhunter

Well-known member
I work with my dad, me too my anxiety and insomnia gets in the way of getting a regular job, but with my education only 10$/hour jobs exist.
 
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