Do you get obsessed with people?

[Scooter]

Do any of you get obsessed with people?
After a really rough start to the year that kicked my SA into hyperdrive, I've become obsessed with someone, not in a romantic way but more of a maternal way. Unfortunately she is a really inappropriate person to get hung up on for specific reasons which I won't post here.
I am obsessed with not making her angry, any contact I have with her I later completely deconstruct looking for any little thing I could have said that would irritate her, then I deconstruct everything she says & does trying to figure out if I managed to irritate her. And I rehearse all possible future contact to figure out what is the best approach so that I don't annoy her. It's completely irrational & completely all-consuming.
Does anyone else do this? Am I just a complete nutter?

 

[divethruhaze]

Edited post
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[k123dave]

I don't do this, but I can understand why someone would, if you see someone who needs a bit of care and attention, I say go for it! There's nothing wrong with the ma/paternal instincts that we feel, they are completely natural and innate.
Are you only obsessed with not making her angry, or do you want to make her happy?

 

[Scooter]

I hadnt even considered that. Am I really that selfish? I'm just obsessed with not making her angry.

 

[chained]

omG, Ido this all the time..now not so much, i think

 

[k123dave]

I hadnt even considered that. Am I really that selfish? I'm just obsessed with not making her angry.

No, it's not selfish at all, you simply want her to not be angry at you, and that is fine. I can't imagine anyone would want someone to be angry at them~

Try not to stress out at why you do it, easier said then done, I know. Maybe you want to be her friend and help her or you simply don't want her inappropriateness directed towards you. Either reason is fine.

 

[BDDgirl]

I just tend to get obsessed with myself, rarely anyone else.

Equally as unhealthy though

 

[anomicdeer]

I get obsessed too. I always thing about what happened and sometimes I feel embarrassed even though it was nothing to be embarrassed about.

 

[Hellhound]

I see i'm not the only one. I tend to do that at times... but only with people I know very well, I don't know why.

 

[mrb]

hmmm dunno about obsessed but i do spend a lot of time worring about people i know on here ... thinking are they ok reading there posts ect thinking oh i dunno wishing i had a magic wand to make all there problems go away , goes for you all really ... oh to be a fairy with a magic wand be nice to see you lot me included to be happy , i read things on here i find quite heartbreaking ... but at least on spw people can share there probs so dont feel so alone

 

[Remus]

Good topic, I added a poll if that's OK

No I don't, usually obsess about incidents in my past which caused trauma

 

[Devrium]

Oh, I get obsessed too... but I don't know if it's exactly in the same way. It's more like... I have one person, the person that I love (bf/husband whatever) and that person becomes my entire universe. I shut the rest of the world out. It's like... if I have them, I don't need anyone else. I don't have any desire to talk to anyone but them, be with anyone but them, have other friends, do other things.. it's like I have tunnel vision or blinders on or something.. and they are the only one that I can see. I don't have my own life.. everything becomes about them. I mean to the point that when other people message me on msn and it's not my bf I'm like screw you... I only want to talk to him... even tho I may really care for those other people... And that's so unhealthy, I know... because I think it's so much pressure on them. (Plus it's unfair to my other friends who get ignored.. I have lost so many friendships over this, and I know it's all my fault) I mean... I seek happiness externally (which is bad I think) and therefore that person I love becomes my everything. All my happiness, my future, my life depends on them. I couldn't imagine being in there shoes.. I mean If I was them I would be like "Omg responsibility and pressure... you're smothering me!" And I think that's why many of my relationships have ended- and badly. I just... it's like when I chose that person... that's it. The world around me melts away... I have been trying to get better about it lately... have my own life and different friends etc... to give the one I love some space... but I am kind of failing at it. I know I need to change... if I ever want to keep someone around for a long period of time.

I don't know why I do it... But It's just how I've always been =/ I think it may just come from the fact that I was never able to get very attached to my parents when I was little. I was absolutely neglected my entire life, so when someone shows that they love me or care... any little bit of attention... and if I fall for them then I cling, and I cling bad. And loosing that person... becomes my nightmare. That thought becomes the end of the world to me. I see no other options, and that leads to even worse depression. And what's worse is, I begin to obsess over the thought of loosing them too. I have BPD... so I suffer from real or imagined abandonment issues... and that makes my clinging even worse...

Anyway... Is any one else as psycho and smothering as I am with their s/o? >:

At any rate.. I do understand what it's like to be obsessive.

 

[spider04]

I get obsessed with girls all the time

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

Yeah I kind of do this, usually when I really admire someone, or look up to them...not anyone Im close to though. A coworker and usually it's a woman I admire or wish I was more like..

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

Oh, I get obsessed too... but I don't know if it's exactly in the same way. It's more like... I have one person, the person that I love (bf/husband whatever) and that person becomes my entire universe. I shut the rest of the world out. It's like... if I have them, I don't need anyone else. I don't have any desire to talk to anyone but them, be with anyone but them, have other friends, do other things.. it's like I have tunnel vision or blinders on or something.. and they are the only one that I can see. I don't have my own life.. everything becomes about them. I mean to the point that when other people message me on msn and it's not my bf I'm like screw you... I only want to talk to him... even tho I may really care for those other people... And that's so unhealthy, I know... because I think it's so much pressure on them. (Plus it's unfair to my other friends who get ignored.. I have lost so many friendships over this, and I know it's all my fault) I mean... I seek happiness externally (which is bad I think) and therefore that person I love becomes my everything. All my happiness, my future, my life depends on them. I couldn't imagine being in there shoes.. I mean If I was them I would be like "Omg responsibility and pressure... you're smothering me!" And I think that's why many of my relationships have ended- and badly. I just... it's like when I chose that person... that's it. The world around me melts away... I have been trying to get better about it lately... have my own life and different friends etc... to give the one I love some space... but I am kind of failing at it. I know I need to change... if I ever want to keep someone around for a long period of time.

I don't know why I do it... But It's just how I've always been =/ I think it may just come from the fact that I was never able to get very attached to my parents when I was little. I was absolutely neglected my entire life, so when someone shows that they love me or care... any little bit of attention... and if I fall for them then I cling, and I cling bad. And loosing that person... becomes my nightmare. That thought becomes the end of the world to me. I see no other options, and that leads to even worse depression. And what's worse is, I begin to obsess over the thought of loosing them too. I have BPD... so I suffer from real or imagined abandonment issues... and that makes my clinging even worse...

Anyway... Is any one else as psycho and smothering as I am with their s/o? >:

At any rate.. I do understand what it's like to be obsessive.

I used to do that, give all my attention to whomever I was with at the time, and ignore or push away anyone else. I stopped doing that though. Those relationships were usually unhealthy to begin with.

 

[Psychedelicious]

I'll be watching you

YESSSSSS!!!!!!!! I am obsessed with this idiotface who I hate soo much, but obviously I don't. He hasn't even talked to me in forever, and I think he hates me now, but whatever. I'm trying not to care, and I think it's getting better than it was at first. I don't want to say why or anything, but I don't even know if it's the particular person or what. It's almost like I need a replacement and I'll be good, until that one goes away.

 

[x000x]

Re: I'll be watching you

YESSSSSS!!!!!!!! I am obsessed with this idiotface who I hate soo much, but obviously I don't. He hasn't even talked to me in forever, and I think he hates me now, but whatever. I'm trying not to care, and I think it's getting better than it was at first. I don't want to say why or anything, but I don't even know if it's he particular person or what. It's almost like I need a replacement and I'll be good, until that one goes away.

Yeah, I have a very similar thing.

 

[Pink_Paula]

hmmm dunno about obsessed but i do spend a lot of time worring about people i know on here ... thinking are they ok reading there posts ect thinking oh i dunno wishing i had a magic wand to make all there problems go away , goes for you all really ... oh to be a fairy with a magic wand be nice to see you lot me included to be happy , i read things on here i find quite heartbreaking ... but at least on spw people can share there probs so dont feel so alone

I'm like this, i don't obsess about anyone, not anymore i haven't done that since i was a teenager lol but i do worry a lot about people, I wish i could help them as well, i've met so many people with SA that are unbelievably amazing it just doesn't seem fair that they have to suffer, so if i could wave a magig wand for them i would!

 

[static]

I do. :| And it's always someone I never talked to, or someone who hurt me in the past. It makes me feel like a creep, lol.

 

[CC81]

I do this too, usually with female friends. I become oversensitive to every little thing they do and say and what that says about whether she likes me or not (as a friend as she is already taken).