I'd definitely like to have kids, but I'd only ever consider doing so through either adoption or foster care. I think there are a lot of children in the world who need parents! Also I don't ever want to get married or be in an intimate relationship with anybody, so that would kind of cancel out any idea of ever having children who are mine by blood. But I certainly hope to be able to adopt or foster a child much later in life; I'm only nineteen, so I'm going to give it a while!
Do you ever want to have children?
- Thread starter Coper
- Start date
littl3misstrange
Well-known member
i would like to have a child someday, but i know that will never happen.
recluse
Well-known member
I voted 'not sure' the reason being is that if i meet a girl i love she might want to have some and i need to keep that in consideration.
I don't want kids for the reasons;
It's too much responsibilty and worry
I'd have no time to myself
I'd have no sleep
And i would be afraid of the child picking up bad social habits from me, and turning out the same
I do love my sisters baby girl, but i don't think i could handle looking after a child 24 7.
I don't want kids for the reasons;
It's too much responsibilty and worry
I'd have no time to myself
I'd have no sleep
And i would be afraid of the child picking up bad social habits from me, and turning out the same
I do love my sisters baby girl, but i don't think i could handle looking after a child 24 7.
Chrysalis
Well-known member
No.
I have never really been a maternal person, more preferring the company of myself of animals
Plus, I don't feel capable, confident, financially, physically or emotionally capable to look after a child - barely doing ok myself
Plus, I have heard that anxiety / depression can sometimes be contributed to genetics, so I wouldn't want to curse my little one.
I have never really been a maternal person, more preferring the company of myself of animals
Plus, I don't feel capable, confident, financially, physically or emotionally capable to look after a child - barely doing ok myself
Plus, I have heard that anxiety / depression can sometimes be contributed to genetics, so I wouldn't want to curse my little one.
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Richey
Well-known member
The problem isnt really "not wanting" to have kids but the problem is i just can't invision even considerring that sort of responsibility unless i know i can provide for them and be a strong positive role model all the time, its difficult seeing myself as a Father figure right now. I am sort of becoming handier with tools alot more recently but i should just be myself really and not care what i think a "Father" should be like ...
its just that as someone in my mid-twenties i feel about 16-18 in terms of experience in life still stumbling around trying to learn new things all the time ...
its also difficult enough just making friends let alone a girlfriend these days so becoming a parent is something that i seriously cannot see happening anytime soon and i'm uncertain i would follow through with it unless i knew i could really afford to bring them up emotionally and financially unless (a) my kids have a nice home to grow up in and (b) they are brought up around well rounded positive influences ..
sure i can be fun and nice with potential to be a great dad but i feel unprepared for it and i need to fix myself up quite a bit regarding attitude and self esteem...
Also i look like this skinny teenager and its a trend that the girls i end up liking gravitate towards the taller more muscular guys, it always happens even though i make an effort and i don't feel attractive compared to others, i keep thinking everyone is better. There seems to be this confidence in the younger generation now days, this swagger that is hard to explain, and im really struggling to break the ice with it...i just constantly feel like i'm missing some trait i should have considerring im the same age but can't find..
this is not meant to be offensive but if you are a girl its always really simple in the fantasy of having kids but when you are male there are all these side issues that prop up around the idea and fantasy being a father, when you are a dad you start invisioning the role of fixing all the problems, being a consistant bread winner so that the kids can have the most comfortable living environment ..and yeh i realise its a mutual responsibility along with the partner ....
its that whole idea of being the perfect alpha male leader, practical in everything like a super dad, funny and outgoing, always interesting and never letting anyone down that gets me wound up a little, that is the expectations and pressure and i'd like to be heading towards that before having kids ..
of course the simple answer is: i would love to have kids of my own some day!
its just that as someone in my mid-twenties i feel about 16-18 in terms of experience in life still stumbling around trying to learn new things all the time ...
its also difficult enough just making friends let alone a girlfriend these days so becoming a parent is something that i seriously cannot see happening anytime soon and i'm uncertain i would follow through with it unless i knew i could really afford to bring them up emotionally and financially unless (a) my kids have a nice home to grow up in and (b) they are brought up around well rounded positive influences ..
sure i can be fun and nice with potential to be a great dad but i feel unprepared for it and i need to fix myself up quite a bit regarding attitude and self esteem...
Also i look like this skinny teenager and its a trend that the girls i end up liking gravitate towards the taller more muscular guys, it always happens even though i make an effort and i don't feel attractive compared to others, i keep thinking everyone is better. There seems to be this confidence in the younger generation now days, this swagger that is hard to explain, and im really struggling to break the ice with it...i just constantly feel like i'm missing some trait i should have considerring im the same age but can't find..
this is not meant to be offensive but if you are a girl its always really simple in the fantasy of having kids but when you are male there are all these side issues that prop up around the idea and fantasy being a father, when you are a dad you start invisioning the role of fixing all the problems, being a consistant bread winner so that the kids can have the most comfortable living environment ..and yeh i realise its a mutual responsibility along with the partner ....
its that whole idea of being the perfect alpha male leader, practical in everything like a super dad, funny and outgoing, always interesting and never letting anyone down that gets me wound up a little, that is the expectations and pressure and i'd like to be heading towards that before having kids ..
of course the simple answer is: i would love to have kids of my own some day!
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I already have two kids- and they are a big part of my inspiration for wanting to improve myself. I do worry about them being influenced by my problems, and I'm not sure if it's my influence, or genetics or whatever, but my son seems to have autism- I am taking him to a specialist. He has problems focusing and staying on task in school- and he prefers to keep to himself, but doesn't shy away from others when they talk to him. My daughter on the other hand is extremely social, loves interacting with other people, has no qualms about saying hello to everyone she sees, I just hope that I don't cause her to lose that as she gets older- cause sometimes I have discouraged her in certain situations- like she sees a teacher she knows from school at the supermarket, wants to go say hi, and I'm like "No, we don't have to" but usually she's already run up to the person, and then I'm a little awkward feeling like I should say something- I don't know, maybe this is actually a good thing to have a child that is the complete opposite of me socially- I could actually learn from her.
It is tough, but I think that it is a rewarding experience, and can actually force you to get involved in things that you otherwise wouldn't. My case is a little tougher being divorced- and I do worry about their dad's influence as well- he loves them and tries to be great with them, but he is bi-polar and has periods of extreme self-loathing and low self-esteem and feels like he doesn't deserve the kids- oh well, the point is no one is perfect- and you shouldn't let your emotional problems keep you from experiencing something great like parenthood- because honestly, no parent is perfect and probably has issues of their own- emotional or otherwise- that have a potential influence on their kids. The thing is to stop worrying about it or over-analyzing it, and just do the best you can.
It is tough, but I think that it is a rewarding experience, and can actually force you to get involved in things that you otherwise wouldn't. My case is a little tougher being divorced- and I do worry about their dad's influence as well- he loves them and tries to be great with them, but he is bi-polar and has periods of extreme self-loathing and low self-esteem and feels like he doesn't deserve the kids- oh well, the point is no one is perfect- and you shouldn't let your emotional problems keep you from experiencing something great like parenthood- because honestly, no parent is perfect and probably has issues of their own- emotional or otherwise- that have a potential influence on their kids. The thing is to stop worrying about it or over-analyzing it, and just do the best you can.
Uix
Member
I doubt i'll have kids. ever since i was 10 i was set on never to have kids although i now haven't completely closed off the idea. but pretty much.
Mostly because It's a HUGE responsibility and HUGE amount of money. putting someone else s life ahead of your own for up to 20 years. it's a lot of hard work. which a lot of parents like it because it's fun and rewarding and worth it. I just don't think it would be for me
Also I love romance. i've been in love a couple times and bringing kids into a relationship seems alittle scary to me since it takes the focus off each other and the kids become the important thing. rather than each other. and it can cause problems/complications that can lead to separation/divorce. possibly loosing half your stuff. having to deal with your ex because you have a kid together and need to work things out. alimony/child support. heartbreak is bad enough as it is by itself even after being with a girl for a year. I can't imagin having to deal with a break up after being with someone for like 10 years. than having had a kid and whatnot. devastating ::
5 out of 6 of my uncles have gone through at least one divorce after having kids. the one that didn't is the only uncle that didn't have kids. he's still with the woman he met when he was around 20.
And of course after watching my parents raise me... can't say it looks any fun
Mostly because It's a HUGE responsibility and HUGE amount of money. putting someone else s life ahead of your own for up to 20 years. it's a lot of hard work. which a lot of parents like it because it's fun and rewarding and worth it. I just don't think it would be for me
Also I love romance. i've been in love a couple times and bringing kids into a relationship seems alittle scary to me since it takes the focus off each other and the kids become the important thing. rather than each other. and it can cause problems/complications that can lead to separation/divorce. possibly loosing half your stuff. having to deal with your ex because you have a kid together and need to work things out. alimony/child support. heartbreak is bad enough as it is by itself even after being with a girl for a year. I can't imagin having to deal with a break up after being with someone for like 10 years. than having had a kid and whatnot. devastating :
:5 out of 6 of my uncles have gone through at least one divorce after having kids. the one that didn't is the only uncle that didn't have kids. he's still with the woman he met when he was around 20.
And of course after watching my parents raise me... can't say it looks any fun
Argamemnon
Well-known member
I don't know, the truth is I can barely look after myself.
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the strong will survive and the weak shall not...
To have a child means that you'll survive, your DNA will continue to exist in this world. I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing.
Honestly, I'm just curious about how my child will be like...good or bad. Maybe i will never find out.
To have a child means that you'll survive, your DNA will continue to exist in this world. I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing.
Honestly, I'm just curious about how my child will be like...good or bad. Maybe i will never find out.
mndigi
Well-known member
I don't because it will just spoil the child's life. I reflect upon my life and also going by what my therapists have told me, my problems are because of a relatively unhappy childhood. Why would I want to spoil a child's life to whom I might not be a good father? Besides, I am not mature enough, at least yet and don't see myself being so in the near future. So why bring on additional difficulties for me?
mndigi
Well-known member
That is true. But I don't consider it important. A big part of our problem is our obsession with ourselves. We aren't the center of the universe. So isn't our DNA.
WastedPotential
Well-known member
everyone wants a kid, it's just people like us are so ****ed up we probably wouldn't be the best parents? I dunno
Ericisme
Well-known member
I just LOVE some kids I see. When I went to my grandpas for Christmas, my little cousin was there. He was so darn cute, kept showing me his new toys, asking me to play with him, loved it so much. Then when I went to the store I saw 2 seperate little girls, so cute, love kids so much. But... more like the nice kids, not the bratty kids... which are honestly kinda rare these days. I know I couldn't have kids, couldn't even support a kid, I also don't have the female body to have one... :: But I can't wait until I have some... pssh, which will probably never happen.....
: But I can't wait until I have some... pssh, which will probably never happen.....