Do you ever want to have children?

Do you ever want to have children?

  • Total voters
    71
Outshined

Outshined

Well-known member
Pretty much what others have already said. I don't want to bring a kid into this world, and then that kid ends up taking after my problems. On the other hand, having a child can be the best part of a person's life. Regardless, I won't have to worry about it for a while really.
 
Volcano

Volcano

Member
I voted no.
I really wouldn't wish my problems on anyone. I'd be a bad role model. What if I couldn't even relate to my own kids? So no. Never.
 
kyle

kyle

Banned
yes of course I want children.

I have a 5 year old girl right now, but I want a boy. I think if had another child, he would become a professional athlete. My family is very athletic, and good at sports. However, we are due for another star athlete in the family.
 
D

Dave_McFadden

Well-known member
Well, I guess having kids sounds nice. Bringing a new life into the world, representing the commitment and love shared between me and special woman. Until the first day the kid comes home crying from school because he or she was beat up or pushed around by bullies. And I'll either have nothing to say to the kid, or I'll have to give them the same b.s. advice I got when it happened to me. And then I'll know the cycle is starting all over again. Also, I can't imagine attempting to teach someone how to throw a baseball or catch a football or something else athletic. I dread the day he comes from school saying "Daddy, show me how to hit a baseball, all the other kids can do it except me" and then I have those young, trusting, innocent brown eyes expecting me to make everything all right. At some point he's going to realize that I don't know what the heck I'm doing with a bat and ball either, or any other piece of sporting equipment, although he's not old enough to know what he's realizing. And then he or she avoids competitive sports, or any other competitive activity, like the plague. And discovers that avoiding things is an effective way to avoid being hurt by them. Or, it turns out that the kid has hay fever, and can't be outside between February and October without 6 pounds of snot hanging out of his nose. As you can imagine, that'll go over real well at the prom. And again, I'll have absolutely no good advice to give to the kid.

So yeah, having a kid is a nice idea in theory, but I can't imagine myself being any kind of competent father.
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
Don´t worry, you would be a good father. It is a shame that SA people don´t have children due to fear to bring bad genes to them, so in the end only the cheeky confident bullies who don´t have any doubt have children. Then the children are of "good genes", but get abused and thats better?

Edit: just wanted to edit this a bit because I realize I often seem to be simplyfying or stereotyping things, of course there are plenty of confident people who are not mean or abusive. OTOH, there might be mean people with SA but I think they are less likely to be so because they are more thoughtful. I myself don´t think I am biologically perfect or of "good genes", but wouldn´t refuse having children because of it. Anyway I don´t think I´ll ever have any and am not missing it very much, but if I should I would make the effort to be a really good mum and give them the best. Leave the other doubts aside and see what the outcome is..
 
VioletTears

VioletTears

Well-known member
So on this issue... This is a vent... Today my supervisor, who is also a teacher in a different class, was talking about an outing that she did with one of her kids. Apparently the child had said to her, "I wish you were my mom." I told her that yes, I had a child say that to me once last year and it often doesn't feel good. Sometimes kids just say things because they're having so much fun and they don't really understand the true meaning of what they're saying, but sometimes you know it's because you're sending them back to a situation that's not good. So then she replied by saying, "Well, you know, his mom has a lot of issues with depression and anxiety..."

I feel like I was just stuck in the "bad mom" category. I also feel like if "these people" knew my issues they would never think that I deserve to be a teacher. But I have done nothing to harm those children or my own. I KNOW that those things are hardships when it comes to parenting but they don't automatically make someone a bad parent... They just mean that we have to make a much bigger effort, and just like any "good parent" we need to put our children's needs above our own. I'm sure I'm taking a simple statement and over reacting, but it makes me feel like shit... And it makes me feel like I need to hide my inner self even more...
 
proudmummy

proudmummy

Well-known member
I'm a mum to 8-month-old son.

He keeps me on my feet and gives me gorgeous smiles. He needs me. Thats what I love!
 
noblame4

noblame4

Well-known member
I guess I'd like to have children. I think I'd make an ...interesting mother, and would produce...interesting children.

I think having a shut-in for a parent doesnt have as much to do with contributing to SAD as a parent who instills fear and self loathing in their children. (Though, it seems there is a line of shut-ins running in my family, there's one in every generation. I hope it's not a gene my children can catch. ;_;)

However, I refuse to raise a child alone, and since the prospect of me finding a man stupid and crazy enouph to marry me is currently remote, motherhood is looking hazy.
 
Predacon

Predacon

Well-known member
Its a tough one I see some people with children and can't help thinking I could do a way better job then them as a parent. On the other I think how much effort it would be just to meet someone then all the costs involved and then I think I'm probably to self absorbed to give them the full attention they would need.
 
M

MyDyingBride

Member
Well, I haven't been on this forum for a while, back then I was living with my parents in a small town very lonely and depressed. Since then I met someone on the internet and moved to brisbane to live with them, for the first 6 months we were living with his parents aswell, but now we are renting together, and I have been so scared of having sex with him, and we have twice which shocks me that I managed too.

Well to the point, yes I really want to have kids sooooo much I really want to be a mum, but how can I if I find the idea of sex terrifying, I feel like leaving my boyfriend so that he can just find someone normal. =(
 
hbanana11

hbanana11

Well-known member
ktea said:
I don't want to have kids, EVER. #1 reason being that the thought of being intimate with someone terrifies me.

Also I don't want to go through the physical pain, and I'd prefer not to have stretchmarks, thanks. Kids are just headaches and money-wasters wrapped up in cute little packages.

Some people should never procreate... I am one.

Also my genes aren't exactly what one would call "desirable."
Click to expand...
Ditto. Im not neccesarily opposed to kids but if i was ever to have kids i wouldn't HAVE kids-i would adopt. But i dont think that is going to happen. I would make such a horrible parent!..im not bad around kids but i have no idea what the hell im doing! WAY too big of a responsibility. Just as others have said, its not fair to the child.
 
O

oNecoOlazN

Well-known member
no...because first of all, I wouldnt want them to have social anxiety too..I couldnt bare to watch my child go through the same thing that I'm going through....and i dont know, i dont think i can EVER handle dirty diapers..
but then asides from all that, i still think about it..maybe, just maybe..when God sends me that one special guy that His created just for me..get married , have kids and live HAPPILY ever after..

:D
 
R

Riiya

Well-known member
I want 12 kids so we can form our own soccer team. I just don't want to be pregnant. Adoption is NOT an option.
 
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