Do you ever avoid men or women you like?

[princess_haru]

Oh boy, I didn't think anyone would believe me. I have no idea who bella is,. I just posted that because I thought it is funny people kept asking her about that guy for months and years after she has last posted. Sorry.

Ugh, I'm just too gullible sometimes! *blows raspberry at bleach*

 

[TheLoneWolf]

Re: I dont seem t..o have that problem

I dont have any prospects right now in the dating area but have come across with a guy like that and let me tell you... It was totally annoying, it took him 4 hrs to make the first move. I wasn't goin to....i'm a lady! word to the wise.... If you like someone and your above the age of lets say 19, then go for it. After the teen years you will regret things more easily than you would when it didnt matter. You are seriously trying to find a mate after 19. And to the guys that have this problem... Don't be so shy, us women crave male attention...as long as you have had success in the past and know what your doing then you have nothing to worry about. OK????? Good luck

In the most polite way possible, that is one of the dumbest things ive ever read on here. YOURE IN A SA FORUM !!! NONE OF US HAD HAD SUCCESS IN THE PAST. with normal people they can just go for it. telling someone with SA to go for it is like telling a rock to tap dance....it just wont work

 

[TooShyShy]

I do agree that if it were that easy, then these boards wouldn't exxist! But i also think a person has to WANT to change and put forth the effort, even little accopmlishments can be a victory..but, you have to want to do something about it before anything can change.

You have to want it MORE tahn you are afraid of it.

 

[Argamemnon]

as long as you have had success in the past and know what your doing then you have nothing to worry about. OK????? Good luck

What if you've never had success in the past and DON'T know what you're doing? Oh and I HATE women who "crave" male attention, that's such a big turn off!! I'm not attracted to attention whores at all. I like mature people who don't play games.

 

[Kinetik]

I've always avoided the girls who I thought were really cute, but it's not like I've had no success with women whatsoever. I've often tried to find a happy medium between her being fairly attractive while still being attainable. In that sense, I suppose I've sometimes found myself settling, just to have a reasonably easy time of it (as opposed to pursuing someone amazing and playing all the headgames that inevitably come with that). I've found that life only half gives you what you want, so I've tried to kind of play into that to some degree.

 

[WelshOne]

Im absolutely terrified of girls I find attractive!

I was down the gym the other day and I thought I saw a girl I knew from school through one of the windows in the doors. She was extremely pretty. I thought she was going to come into the gym and my heart was racing like mad, and I actually started to feel a bit physically sick! I wanted to run away lol. I think it was worse because I thought I knew her, so she might actually talk to me. It turned out it wasnt her though, and she didnt come into the gym anyway - phew!

I think its probably the fear of rejection, because it actually matters to me what girls Im attracted to think of me.

 

[TooShyShy]

Do you know where this comes from?

The fear, needing approval and anxiety due to possible rejection? How do you feel about yourself deep down? I think that's the bottom line, what you think of yourself!!!!

Are you thinking an attractive girl who likes you has no chance with you at all..or would her liking you make a difference?

 

[Cynic]

What if you've never had success in the past and DON'T know what you're doing?

Then you might as well give up or face further humiliation.

 

[Illusions]

This has been the case for me since primary school! Seeing them would get me running off in the opposite direction (both figuratively and literally). Ironic, ain't it?

 

[TooShyShy]

But why does that happen..is it a panic attack of some sort?

 

[doesit]

I practice what I call "self-sabotage". If I know for sure that a woman is interested in me, and I've known her for a while, I'll deliberately become colder toward her. It's basically a form of self-defense. If I push you away, you won't put me in awkward situations that require I reveal more about myself than I'm comfortable with. If the woman is a complete stranger and doesn't know me from a hole in the ground, then I'll happily talk to her and flirt... up to a point. As soon as you start to get too close, become too curious, too insistent, that's when the walls go up. I reject you before you have the opportunity to reject me, which is, I guess, a form of emotional cowardice. But then I've never claimed to be brave. In many ways, I am my own worst enemy.

Those are golden words my friend
I think all this flirting comes as an instinct for us males,but then when anxiety kicks in,we hide under our walls to hide our weakness instead of apeering weak in front of others.

 

[TooShyShy]

Flakeybark....

But if you find her really attractive (i'm sure is when that feeling kicks in the most) and she is showing interest in you..doesn't that make you feel even worse afterwards that a girl you liked you could have had a chance with you lost bcuz of your fear :::::: thats got to hurt more????

 

[aboobooboobooo]

Flakeybark....

But if you find her really attractive (i'm sure is when that feeling kicks in the most) and she is showing interest in you..doesn't that make you feel even worse afterwards that a girl you liked you could have had a chance with you lost bcuz of your fear :::::: thats got to hurt more????

Yea this happens to me alot, why the hell does SA have to exist?

 

[TooShyShy]

do you ever try..i mean REALLY try to overcome it and talk to a girl you like??? and if so what happens?

 

[bleach]

I have never tried. It is much easier to approach girls I don't like. They usually say yes but it doesn't matter, nothing comes out of it

 

[aboobooboobooo]

do you ever try..i mean REALLY try to overcome it and talk to a girl you like??? and if so what happens?

Oh believe me I've tried numerous times. However I'm never comfortable in that situation and I come off as a nervous wreck and in the end the results are the same. Women just don't like men who lack confidence.

 

[shygirly]

I always do,cause I'm afraid I'll say something stupid.

 

[Jannah]

Yes, Thats why I never had a chance with any of them. But what differecne does it make, I am too ugly for them.

 

[Cyanna]

I always do too! I'm so afraid that something in my body language could reveal my true feelings to them!

 

[TooShyShy]

Ohhh, so why??? Now, is it something you feel when seeing her that scares you..are you overwhelmed by her, attracted, intimidated??? What happens to you physically?