Do you believe in second chances?

[MNM322]

This has nothing to do with religion... just a question... when it comes to friends/love etc... do you usually give people a second chance? Why or why not?

I do... always.... I have yet to find a time when I would not. I do it for many reasons... the main one being...I know I have messed up out of anger or frustration etc and love when people don't give up on me. Another being that, it just seems the right thing to do. I think when you give a second chance, you feel so much more "free" inside and you don't harbor as much anger etc.

Its probably a bad thing I am so forgiving but I do believe in the power of forgiveness

 

[Hellhound]

I only give second chances if the other person is willing to change for the better. If they keep screwing up over and over, I give up on them and move on.

 

[MNM322]

Ya but if they "keep screwing up" means you gave them a second chance or you wouldn't know

 

[MikeyC]

Yes, I believe in second chances. However, I don't know when enough is enough. There are at least 2 people in my life where I should've given them the boot, but gave them chance after chance for reasons I can't even fathom.

There's one girl in my life recently, and twice she's gotten in contact with me, and both times she has asked for money. I think that's the end for her.

 

[How_slow_the_Wind]

It really depends on context. If they show sincere remorse for something they have commited in the past, or feel as if they are a different person, then I think people should be able to be given sencond chances. However, some people never learn, and willingly abuse peoples trust over and over again. I do think most people are redeemable.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

It depends on the situation. If someone genuinely messes up, then yeah I'll usually give them a second chance because we've all done stupid things from time to time. But I wouldn't give a second chance to someone who'd acted maliciously unless they could demonstrate to me that they had changed and weren't likely to do the same thing again. In my experience, self-interested people who screw other people over for their own benefit don't tend to undergo sudden epiphanies and change their ways. They're just very good at saying they have.

 

[DevC]

Of course I do, would be mean not to and with my ability to have poeple in my life I cant afford not too, but I also need to learn when enough is enough.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I forgive but I can't forget.

I've never really had any close friends and this may be why-- because I know people will betray me eventually; it's just a matter of time. That's what I've learned from my personal experience, anyways.

I will always be kind to people and show compassion but I'm not going to be very close with anyone-- especially if they need a '2nd', '3rd', '4th', '20th' chance.
There will be more and more distance after the first chance.
They'll find other friends to talk to other than me.

 

[truffleshuffle]

I belive in second chances although its bitten me more than a few times.

 

[Chess]

Forgiveness doesn't make people change, it just removes any necessity to do so if they want to keep having friends/dates. Unless someone genuinely feels bad about what they did, why stop if it feels good or is beneficial and people just keep forgiving them?

If it's obvious it was a mistake I'll forgive, otherwise they can live with their decisions like me and the rest of the world.

 

[Lea]

I think I always give ppl second chance, even X chances. I regard life as a learning process, getting along with other people and trying to understand each other is something like a training, excercise, there is no winner or looser in it. Only someone knows how to play better, someone worse or even sucks. Shouldn´t those who are not so good in playing be given equal chance to participate on the game? I say there shouldn´t be no winner or looser, someone "better" or someone "worse". Who would I be to not give people 2nd chance, I would spoil all the game just for my own pride and narcissistic importance.

To say this, there used to be people who really pissed me off and I couldn´t get on with them because our opinions were so different. One girl behaved to me rudely every time (I won´t go into details because it would be too long), I tried to do what I could to get on with her, but she wasn´t even interested in peaceful and fair solution. In the end I felt really pushed into unfriending her on FB because she crossed all boundaries. I don´t normally do such things but strangely in this case I felt good about it and felt that it was the right decision. I think I would give her another chance though if she wanted to talk to me.

 

[jaim38]

If a friend messes up and wants to make up, then yeah, I give my friend a second chance.
In most situations, I give people second chances.
However, when it comes to romance, it's an entirely different matter.
If I dated a guy but don't feel any meaningful connection with him, then I will not give him a second chance (in dating and romance). Why should I keep a guy around if I have no feelings for him? It would only serve to hurt me and him later on. He will think I'm stringing him along, and I will feel guilty too.
Same thing with guys who are not compatible and guys whom I don't have feelings for. There are plenty of fishes in the sea and they're better off finding their very own lucky girl who can love them for who they are.
I also don't believe in guys trying to change their personalities just to get a girl to like them.
I'm not sure if I can tolerate cheating. If a guy cheats on another woman and impregnates her, I would end things immediately and not look back.

 

[Emerald_]

I'm very magnanimous.

And I'm also a glutton for punishment.

 

[BleedTheFreak]

Depends on how miserable the person has made my life. I tend to take everything personally, so sometimes I remember stupid insults said to me in the heat of the moment (sometimes years ago) and have trouble moving past things like that. So in those cases I have to step back and realize that I might overreact to things just a tad...But a lot of times you can just tell what kind of person they are and know what their intentions are, even if they severely wronged you. I don't know...each case is different, but I have no problem cutting ties with someone if they can't help but treat me like crap.

 

[Emerald_]

Now I feel STUPID. A word I never really heard used nor used myself. Maybe I should read the dicitionary sometime!
mag·nan·i·mous/magˈnanəməs/ Adjective:

Very generous or forgiving, esp. toward a rival or someone less powerful than oneself.

Only just seen this

 

[Fighter86]

Well I have given second chances, big mistake. As for others to giving me chances its rare, almost never happens.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

It really depends on what you mean by a "second chance" and it also depends on the context. If a girl cheated on me in a relationship, I will forgive her, but that relationship would of course be over.
In general I'm pretty forgiving. I really make a conscious effort. But, I also believe in moving on. Some friends have really hurt me in the past and although I forgive them and wish them the best, I need to move on. I don't want to "reboot" that friendship.