Do we not matter anymore?

[andsorry]

Not that I am bashing anyone with a serious disorder, but how come when we complain of emotional pain from anxiety and depression we’re not taken seriously. I hate it! They think we’re just complaining and looking for attention. Emotional pain really hurts. Then they wonder why we chose to commit suicide. I’m ranting because I feel like no one cares, I feel like I have to say I want to commit suicide to get any real help.:crying:

 

[MikeyC]

Who is "they"?

 

[Agent_Violet]

I think it's tough for people to understand emotional pain for prolonged periods of time.Most people respond to immediate emotional pain but give up responding if they see the person isn't trying to get better or get help.
The amount of support and sympathy people give seems to directly correspond with how much their sympathy and support is helping the other person.If it never seems to help,the person eventually gives up and assumes the emotional pain of the other is an attention thing.

 

[Srijita52]

Its hard for people understand what they can't see, so its easier for them to empathise with say, someone who's suffering physically than someone who's suffering socially or emotionally because on the surface, they look alright. Plus its easier for them to understand something common which they can relate to, like I've found people are more likely to be empathetic towards you if you say you're going through a break up but less likely if you say you're socially anxious. Just my experience anyway.

 

[R3K]

They (non social phobics who're part of some social circle) are afraid to get involved with us and our issues. maybe deep down inside they truly want to help us, but they never will because they're afraid of negative association. eventually people in their social ring will start questioning why they're giving us so much of a care when it's not bandwagon'y clever in their eyes to do so.

it's so much easier for their collective habits to scoff us and throw quick, dismissive diagnostics our way so they can continue their cool lives without worry while feeling like they did something to help us.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Not that I am bashing anyone with a serious disorder, but how come when we complain of emotional pain from anxiety and depression we’re not taken seriously. I hate it! They think we’re just complaining and looking for attention. Emotional pain really hurts. Then they wonder why we chose to commit suicide. I’m ranting because I feel like no one cares, I feel like I have to say I want to commit suicide to get any real help.:crying:

I feel that my emotional pain wouldn't even matter if people found out of my depression. The past, the pain, being used, is something my family and a lot of people do overlook and keep focusing on my faults all the time. Like a painting. Even though there are some good touches about it and the picture is well thought and nicely done, there will always be those minor flaws people like to pick at. Instead, they will tend to criticize the picture's flaws continuously, even after the hard work and time it had to be put into actually making it. And that's what people will always see of me are my constant minor faults. I doubt anyone would be putting up with my emotional outbursts. My family already proved that they can't deal with it so how can I expect others to be patient and understanding what kind of pain I went through. I remember I actually posted on a thread at some point that the world had reminded me of the Sims games and where you go to customize your Sim to be just how you expect it to turn out. Funny, I feel like I play a Sim who's being customized by people who are the game controllers. I have no control.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

everyone can be sad or depressed sometimes, so people don't necessarly understand how deep is your distress.
They also have their own problems, even if they look like they have everything under control.
If you're being very clear on how bad you need help, I think most people just don't know what to do to help you.
When you think about it, there's not much they can do.
So it's probably a better idea to count only on yourself to find a solution to your troubles.

 

[dottie]

Its hard for people understand what they can't see, so its easier for them to empathise with say, someone who's suffering physically than someone who's suffering socially or emotionally because on the surface, they look alright. Plus its easier for them to understand something common which they can relate to, like I've found people are more likely to be empathetic towards you if you say you're going through a break up but less likely if you say you're socially anxious. Just my experience anyway.

so true... & @ Pacific_Loner

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Its hard for people understand what they can't see, so its easier for them to empathise with say, someone who's suffering physically than someone who's suffering socially or emotionally because on the surface, they look alright. Plus its easier for them to understand something common which they can relate to, like I've found people are more likely to be empathetic towards you if you say you're going through a break up but less likely if you say you're socially anxious. Just my experience anyway.

Personally, I think the problem seems to be that people who don't/never have social phobia themselves can't easily relate to people who do. I'd be scared of befriending people who are outgoing and don't really understand the condition I'm in. I figure the only reason people can relate to break up issues or physical distress is because it's the "valid" reason for someone to be emotional. It's been done on TV, news, advertising, just anything. It seems like society has the running basic formula going on:

People who are in physical distress = Valid emotional pain
People who suffer from social phobia/suffering from emotions= Invalid emotional pain

It seems like whatever equivalents to going through physical pain or issues will most likely receive the attention. What I don't think is that people who don't suffer from social phobia, have not seemed yet to understand in their heads that people truly do suffer with these disorders,mental issues, and so on and their lack of trying to help others. They think it will get better for us when they haven't even been placed in our shoes. I'd make friends with social anxious people if I could find them.

 

[Odo]

If you're coming off as needy then yeah, most people aren't going to want to deal with that. Threatening to commit suicide because no one is listening to you is absolutely a cry for attention... I don't know how you could argue it isn't.

If you're in serious pain or have impossible issues, there are professionals who can help you... you can't realistically expect your friends to sacrifice their own time, energy and happiness on someone when they don't know what to say or do.

I think that most people are willing to listen to someone go on and on for a reasonable amount of time every so often-- it's when it's ongoing that they start to avoid you.

 

[andsorry]

Who is "they"?

school administrators

 

[HexNoir]

I agree with the professional help thing. Some people need it.

Good luck, though. I really do hope you find help. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to realize the only way left to go is up. But whatever you do, don't harm yourself, that would be horribly sad and counterproductive.

 

[andsorry]

If you're coming off as needy then yeah, most people aren't going to want to deal with that. Threatening to commit suicide because no one is listening to you is absolutely a cry for attention... I don't know how you could argue it isn't.

If you're in serious pain or have impossible issues, there are professionals who can help you... you can't realistically expect your friends to sacrifice their own time, energy and happiness on someone when they don't know what to say or do.

I think that most people are willing to listen to someone go on and on for a reasonable amount of time every so often-- it's when it's ongoing that they start to avoid you.

I avoid most people. I seek help from professionals, but I'm afraid they'll say that my anxiety is not a reason for counseling. I'm still secretive about my depression. I am suicidal, but its weird. One minute I'm attempting and then the other I'm calm and relax like nothing happened.

 

[Satori_lotus]

I think it's definitely a very misunderstood illness, social phobia. Because that's what it is, an illness and a lot of people don't comprehend that. There may be shyness and nervousness before going on stage but when it is greater than that, stutters your speech, actually prevents you from making friendships/going out and interacting with people, then it is a different matter entirely.
And because of the very nature of the illness, not many people know about it. Thankfully though, it is taken seriously by some such as the therapist team that I'm with at the moment who are all very aware of social anxiety and it's a very common problem that people go to them for.

 

[Doubiousness]

I recently learned that my best friend growing up also had serious issues with depression. We both seemed to deal with it in our own ways. I drank a whole lot and he took prescribed meds. Though I always knew he had social anxiety/depression he never dealt with in the unhealthy way I do. I do believe my worst days are behind me and for him tell me about it is a hugely positive step. Good things don't happen often but when life is a sea of shit those good things do come around and do make life worth it.

 

[Fighter86]

Not that I am bashing anyone with a serious disorder, but how come when we complain of emotional pain from anxiety and depression we’re not taken seriously. I hate it! They think we’re just complaining and looking for attention. Emotional pain really hurts. Then they wonder why we chose to commit suicide. I’m ranting because I feel like no one cares, I feel like I have to say I want to commit suicide to get any real help.:crying:

I think its because people think issues like depression and anxiety is all in the mind. Happy, well adjusted people will just tell to change our mind set and get over it. They don't really understand these are real issues less fortunate people unfortunately have to cope with.

 

[andsorry]

I think its because people think issues like depression and anxiety is all in the mind. Happy, well adjusted people will just tell to change our mind set and get over it. They don't really understand these are real issues less fortunate people unfortunately have to cope with.

I completely agree some people just don't understand. It's very frustrating when explaining to them that's not how things work.

 

[Odo]

I avoid most people. I seek help from professionals, but I'm afraid they'll say that my anxiety is not a reason for counseling. I'm still secretive about my depression. I am suicidal, but its weird. One minute I'm attempting and then the other I'm calm and relax like nothing happened.

Anxiety is a perfectly valid reason for counseling! I went to see a counsellor about mine a while ago... it's their job to listen without judgment, and to offer you help. Of course, some are better than others.

I did sometimes have a nagging sense that he was seriously getting pissed off at me wasting his time when I left, but I'm pretty sure that's just paranoia.