Do girls like guys for non-look associated reasons?
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It most certainly is not.
Yes it ****ing is, at least where I ****ing live in this **** hole of a city.
I fell in love with a guy who I wasnt attracted to at first. And honestly, because there was a lack of physical attraction I didn't think anything more than friendship would come of it.
He was great to talk to. Kept me interested, made me laugh, had fun and serious conversations and we had lots in common.
After awhile he started to become more physically attractive to me. Instead of thinking he's totally not my type whatsoever I started to think he was perfect for me. And he was my first boyfriend.
So yes, from what I expereinced with him, I know some girls do like guys for more than just looks. And now I am far less picky when it comes to looks. I find average guys to be extremley sexy though
I'm not into the typical "hot" guys.
He was great to talk to. Kept me interested, made me laugh, had fun and serious conversations and we had lots in common.
After awhile he started to become more physically attractive to me. Instead of thinking he's totally not my type whatsoever I started to think he was perfect for me. And he was my first boyfriend.
So yes, from what I expereinced with him, I know some girls do like guys for more than just looks. And now I am far less picky when it comes to looks. I find average guys to be extremley sexy though
I'm not into the typical "hot" guys. Same with me and my hubby.
Anubis
Well-known member
Some of you guys are over-complicating a simple issue. Yes, humans pick their mates based on visual appearance (initially). Why the hell wouldn't we??? We have eyes and we use them! lol
But you're missing one thing. Looks are only used to INITIATE conversation. It allows both to grab onto a mutual interest so they can further talk about other potential similarities. If the two remain compatible, then the relationship is advanced.
It's a bit politically incorrect to say this (although logical), but "looks" are a lot like the ACT/MCAT/SATs. They are the first marker that schools use to determine if you are qualified to be in their school. If you fit their minimum score, they then look at your other qualifications to determine their decision. But not before you jump over the first hurdle of having a decent score.
Fortunately, you don't need an amazing score to get into most schools (you just need to be average). And likewise, you don't need an amazing score for most girls to notice you. Again, you just need to be average. And unless you have some extremely rare and unfixable genetic disease that makes your face look extremely deformed (unlikely), you CAN go through the appropriate steps to look average. Once you get through that hoop, THEN you can dazzle your potential mate with your quirky intelligence and wit.
But you're missing one thing. Looks are only used to INITIATE conversation. It allows both to grab onto a mutual interest so they can further talk about other potential similarities. If the two remain compatible, then the relationship is advanced.
It's a bit politically incorrect to say this (although logical), but "looks" are a lot like the ACT/MCAT/SATs. They are the first marker that schools use to determine if you are qualified to be in their school. If you fit their minimum score, they then look at your other qualifications to determine their decision. But not before you jump over the first hurdle of having a decent score.
Fortunately, you don't need an amazing score to get into most schools (you just need to be average). And likewise, you don't need an amazing score for most girls to notice you. Again, you just need to be average. And unless you have some extremely rare and unfixable genetic disease that makes your face look extremely deformed (unlikely), you CAN go through the appropriate steps to look average. Once you get through that hoop, THEN you can dazzle your potential mate with your quirky intelligence and wit.
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humansrare
Well-known member
Looks draw me in, but personality keeps me there.
Kat
Well-known member
I liked my guy based on his personality first because I met him over the internet but you want somebody that likes your complete package. We all have the complete package it’s just a matter of your taste. It wouldn’t of been fair for him if I only liked him for his personality just as it wouldn’t of been fair for me to just soley like him for his looks when there would be people out there that like him for both. Luckily for me I liked my man for both.
I know looks fade but we have formed a bond that goes past the initial superficial stage
I know looks fade but we have formed a bond that goes past the initial superficial stage
I agree with this. I've never been one to "swoon" over any guy just based on what he looks like... I mean, I do notice when guys are good looking, but I don't go all hormonal and crazy being in the same room with them- even when I was a teenager.
I don't even give anyone a second glance unless/until I know something of their personality. The more I know of and like their personality, the more physically appealing they become... it's as if whatever they are becomes what I want.
Misterhopefull
Well-known member
Personally, I think women love money more than anything, just as much as men focus on the ____ (insert vagina here, oops)
But women love to be convinced, so if you can convince them that you're the greatest piece of golden terd on the planet -- no matter how you look, even if you have a lil tail attached to your right butt cheek -- then you can get the one you want (to date at least).
Jin
Well-known member
nowadays its practical.......IMO
no1
Banned
I think it's wrong for people to say that they use looks to initiate conversation in the first place.. sicne that means you look only to conversate with people who look good to you. So where and how do all the less good looking come into play if you say "it's not all about looks"? Do they have to absolutely grab your attention? Do you have to be forced? I mean can't you just talk to people like normal as if looks didn't exist?
ok you might not want to talk to the guy who looks homeless, but I'm not talking about homeless people. I'm talking about people who are just like you, they just might not be the prettiest thing in your vicinity. What are you goignt o avoid talking to someone because a guy all the way over there looks better than him?
Maybe he's just at a stage where you don't find him particularly attractive but if you knew him longer he would become more attractive, ie change bodyweight, or just needs a little confidence or support, perhaps he just didn't have the best outfit on that day, or wasn't looking perfect, his hair got messed up...etc
I also think it's very messed up.. that women can judge a man as stalker, rapist, lewd, weird, pervert, etc. because he's nervous or feels bad about talking BAD to a woman especially on the first times seeing her (especially if he's had TONS of women rejecting him, about saying something like "youre pretty" and she says STOP IT YOU'RE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE and majkes you feel like a pervert) but then some guy says something even MORE lewd and bad but he says it with confidence (yet he's uglier, and has bad MANNERS) and the girls are all like "I want to **** him".
It's like all they care about are DISPLAYS.
Displays of confidence, DISPLAYS of authority, DISPLAYS of superiority. First impressions, etc. etc. etc. Even if on the inside it's not true.
I mean, WTF... I grew up being taught not to mistreat women, and to not be rude, and selfish and materialistic and overly sexual, non freaky, respecful, and to not mention things of sexual nature, to be deviant (at least until the right time right?), or something. But nowadays its preffered to be rude, deviant and materialistic, and to CO-ERCE women into sexual things, as long as you trick them into thinking its ok, or acting like it's ok, or making them FEAR you? I mean, all you have to do is just make her "feel" good about whatever is happening? This is also perception.
Someone also told me yesterday "it's all about persistence". How can I be persistent if I am at risk of being classed a stalker, rapist, weirdo, pervert, sociopath, strange, obsessed person, being thrown in jail, getting beat up, or risking death, simply because I want to talk to a girl, and i'm not confident about being deviant with her?
ok you might not want to talk to the guy who looks homeless, but I'm not talking about homeless people. I'm talking about people who are just like you, they just might not be the prettiest thing in your vicinity. What are you goignt o avoid talking to someone because a guy all the way over there looks better than him?
Maybe he's just at a stage where you don't find him particularly attractive but if you knew him longer he would become more attractive, ie change bodyweight, or just needs a little confidence or support, perhaps he just didn't have the best outfit on that day, or wasn't looking perfect, his hair got messed up...etc
I also think it's very messed up.. that women can judge a man as stalker, rapist, lewd, weird, pervert, etc. because he's nervous or feels bad about talking BAD to a woman especially on the first times seeing her (especially if he's had TONS of women rejecting him, about saying something like "youre pretty" and she says STOP IT YOU'RE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE and majkes you feel like a pervert) but then some guy says something even MORE lewd and bad but he says it with confidence (yet he's uglier, and has bad MANNERS) and the girls are all like "I want to **** him".
It's like all they care about are DISPLAYS.
Displays of confidence, DISPLAYS of authority, DISPLAYS of superiority. First impressions, etc. etc. etc. Even if on the inside it's not true.
I mean, WTF... I grew up being taught not to mistreat women, and to not be rude, and selfish and materialistic and overly sexual, non freaky, respecful, and to not mention things of sexual nature, to be deviant (at least until the right time right?), or something. But nowadays its preffered to be rude, deviant and materialistic, and to CO-ERCE women into sexual things, as long as you trick them into thinking its ok, or acting like it's ok, or making them FEAR you? I mean, all you have to do is just make her "feel" good about whatever is happening? This is also perception.
Someone also told me yesterday "it's all about persistence". How can I be persistent if I am at risk of being classed a stalker, rapist, weirdo, pervert, sociopath, strange, obsessed person, being thrown in jail, getting beat up, or risking death, simply because I want to talk to a girl, and i'm not confident about being deviant with her?
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It's quite simple, actually. As far as I am concerned, I see someone who is sufficiently good looking in my eyes, and then I talk to her - if the situation allows for that - in order to find out if she's as pretty on the inside as she is on the outside. That's very seldom the case.
The point is, if she isn't pretty enough on the outside, I have no interest whatsoever to get to know her any closer, because that could never lead to anything romantic. And I don't need female "friends", those who I have are enough for a lifetime.
Looks are decisive for a first-contact, but aren't, in general, the decisive factor in the long run. If I don't like her interests, goals in life, or way to deal with things, I lose all my interests. The same goes for platonic friends. I am not in need of the company of people whose lifestyle I don't agree with. (Of course, that doesn't mean they have to live a life like mine.)
For women it is certainly similar. And keep in mind that everybody defines "prettiness" differently.
What's wrong with homeless people?
Why would anyone want someone who has to be changed in order to become attractive, if there are plenty of other people you naturally feel attracted to without any effort? There is no point in "dating" someone you want to see changed from the get-go.
Understandably. The "cocky and funny" attitude isn't seen as perverted. Rather the opposite. It is a grown-up, mentally mature man's way of showing his interest without making the girl uncomfortable. It causes the situation to ease up and facilitates the conversations.
Of course, because you can be certain that someone who doesn't display any of that, actually doesn't have any of those attributes, while someone who does display them, has a chance to actually have them. Why go for someone who is or at least feels inferior to the majority of people alive, if you have ample opportunity to get to know the seemingly confident, and strong leader, or someone who makes a positive first impression?
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You got it all wrong. Nobody sane is actually mistreating women. If a man does that and the girl goes for that, enjoys the violence, then it's her thing and she likely needs professional help. Most women don't enjoy that, and most women don't go for the abusive type of man.
Natural assertiveness may appear "violent" in the eyes of the immature or the mislead, but it actually isn't. It's a very pleasant characteristic in men - especially for a woman.
no1
Banned
klytus has got it wrong. he is actualyl convinced that violent, aggressive, materialistic, selfish and rude behavior is mature.
The sad thing is most people believe the same damn thing, because most women think it's "hot" since they can't tell the ****ing difference between strength, character and just plain wickedness. SO they have the rest of society buying that ****, because they breed it.
If I acted the same ****ing way and because I dont feel comfortable diong it, girls would call her damn gangster friends to beat me up or call the cops or some stupid ****.
The sad thing is most people believe the same damn thing, because most women think it's "hot" since they can't tell the ****ing difference between strength, character and just plain wickedness. SO they have the rest of society buying that ****, because they breed it.
If I acted the same ****ing way and because I dont feel comfortable diong it, girls would call her damn gangster friends to beat me up or call the cops or some stupid ****.
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