disconnected from society / alienated

PheonixBomb

PheonixBomb

Active member
I don't really get it. Maybe it's from the fact that I isolated so much in middle school and high school, and only in the last few years have I started to get out there more. (I'm 23). Ussually I leave the house, or watch a video on YouTube where people are talking about their day (where they went, who they saw etc), I just feel odd. Like I'm not supposed to be there (whereever I am), and like I'm an alien that's been sent to earth to study humans or something. Like I'm not "normal". I don't know my place in society and sometimes I think I should be one of those people that lives in a cabin in the woods and only goes out to buy food and stuff, but that would get very lonely.

Can anyone relate?
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Aye. Eh... Ah can certainly relate tae how yer feelin'.

Ah know, that isnae exactly a good thing. Quite depressin', actually. :sad:
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
Definitely can relate! I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do for society. Am I supposed to start a charity someday? How am I supposed to love other people besides my loved ones?
 
Quietguy11

Quietguy11

Well-known member
I am slowly with the help and aid of medication getting back into a connection with people, but it is tightly restricted right now. I get together with a group of like 8 people once a week, hang out with a couple friends, and interact daily with family. Not much but it's definitely a start. Sadly if it wasn't for medication I don't think I would have come even this far.
 
scott

scott

Member
Yes I feel the same way. I notice it gets worse the less I hang out with others. At one point I stopped responding to people (in stores, on the street) and just stared at them similarly to how one would stare at animals in a zoo haha.

However this was never a problem when I was partying and going out every week for years. Back to square one again!
 
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S

spider04

1
Sure I can relate... Other than saying hi to my roommates, It's been 2 weeks since I talked to anyone in real life. Haven't even been chatting with my cousin I used to talk to everyday. I have vacation this week so I don't have to leave the house to go anywhere, maybe I'll go out to get some fresh air and food but other than at school, anywhere else I go it's me alone. Disconnected.
 
hardy

hardy

Well-known member
please find the good one's. I found them in Buddhism...they r rare...but compassionate enough to let u live.
 
planemo

planemo

Well-known member
ratufa said:
I can relate. I have been living that way for nearly 13 years now.
I'm trying to figure out what kind of people I am interested in, so that I can one day immerse myself into that environment. I think you may need to set serious goals for yourself early on. If you don't, the years just fly by, and you end up like me - a socialphobic recluse, getting older,,, ,and older,,,,, and older,,,,,,,
Click to expand...

i agree. once you're in that role of recluse it's hard to get out of it and time just goes by.
 
sahxox

sahxox

Well-known member
Mm social phobia really hits me if I'm going through a depressive stage in life. Yesterday I was dreaming of a recluse lifestyle somewhere in a hut in the Maldives or even the middle of the desert, whatever. :p
Going down the street today, I just wanted to tell everyone to eff off and leave me alone. Being nice is a weakness in this frame of mind, because if your not happy I find efforts are wasted.. you put yourself on the line by pretending to be :) :) :) to the checkout people etc but because I feel shit it seems to never work, so then I get increasingly frustrated that being nice doesn't work and SP gets worse. It's a ridiculous cycle!! When you have depression, general anxiety and social phobia become heightened. Only faith I have is that I've beaten it once before. Last year I was happy and confident with myself, and this translated into all aspects of my life. I was not afraid to enter any store or ask anyone anything. Now things have turned to shit again on a personal level, been betrayed by certain people etc. and sp is back. I guess I learnt it's a cycle and things won't be like this forever.
Sorry for the speil lol but it clarified why I'm disconnected from society anyway...
 
Odo

Odo

Banned
I'm not sure that anyone really feels 'connected' to society... in fact, I would say there's a good bet that society is pretty much held together by a lot of repression, denial and superficiality... people are probably a lot weirder than they appear, but they know that this won't go over well so they push it all down.

I'm pretty sure that they just appear to be because they're not you and you will always see yourself as different from other people.

It's actually kind of terrifying that all conscious beings are stuck in their own heads with the weirdest aspects of themselves while being forced to look at the most 'normal' aspects of everyone else.
 
U

ukmale

Well-known member
PheonixBomb said:
I don't really get it. Maybe it's from the fact that I isolated so much in middle school and high school, and only in the last few years have I started to get out there more. (I'm 23). Ussually I leave the house, or watch a video on YouTube where people are talking about their day (where they went, who they saw etc), I just feel odd. Like I'm not supposed to be there (whereever I am), and like I'm an alien that's been sent to earth to study humans or something. Like I'm not "normal". I don't know my place in society and sometimes I think I should be one of those people that lives in a cabin in the woods and only goes out to buy food and stuff, but that would get very lonely.

Can anyone relate?
Click to expand...


I have been house bound for 8 long yrs .so what is this thing society you talk of yes I can understand what your going though I have totally pulled out of the world and have 90% of my time is spent in my room I spend time around the house and only go outside a hand full of times a yr dentist checkup twice a yr hmmmm nothing really don't have friends don't go out I did start walking 2 yrs back but they was building something so had guys in the way all the time so that stopped I wanna get back out walking again but I can't .. the school down the road changed names I found out 3yrs later by driving passed hmmm its about 400yrs down road bad hey
 
Saraswati

Saraswati

Active member
Can relate for the most part. I too feel like I don't belong. And I am quite a bit of a loner.
Always had friends though. A few good ones. Talking to others was difficult. A lot of the times I'm blaming it on them (because they are boring, stupid, we have nothing in common). And I preffered smaller groups. Even better if I had one on one conversations.
I am 24. And I don't want to live alone. I want to be able to talk to anyone and feel comfortable wherever I am. Survived quite a few parties with some help (alcohol) and I have come to do things on my own (like going to the store, to the doctors etc. I feel like I'm really slowly making progress.

A few months ago my schoolmates were having a party. I chickened out and later while seeing the photos from the party on FB I had a really terrible feeling. I felt like an idiot, someone who isn't even able to go out and see his friends. I am missing on so much. This is not the life I want for myself.

I can say though, that medication is helping me. My depression is waaaaay better and my social phobia is a bit better too. I can even talk to someone on the street.... Nevertheless I get really drained after it :/

I think it's important to dream big. Having a goal, trying to reach it. I am sure that none of us would choose this life if they could choose. The sooner we realize this, the sooner we can start doing something about it.
Having someone that is close to us can help enormously!
Small steps. And if that doesn't work.... even smaller steps. :)
 
Saraswati

Saraswati

Active member
Oh and.... I don't think it's a question if you are connected to society but rather do you feel comfortable in your surroundings. And you cannot be comfortable if you are not comfortable with yourself. Having to learn to love ourselves is a hard job. But everything starts with that in my opinion.
 
Diend

Diend

Well-known member
The strange thing is that as a teenager, my need to feel connected was never brought up. I was fine having no friends outside of school but I guess being secluded has its downsides: not knowing what's going on around me. My plan? Not move to the suburbs and stay in the city.
 
PheonixBomb

PheonixBomb

Active member
I keep thinking about how I was so blissfully ignorant of society, dating, flirting etc. Now that I've opened my eyes, it seems all the signs point to me being alone for good. Or maybe this is one of those cases of ignoring the positives and focusing on the negative signs that tell me I suck. I wonder what would have happened if I stayed ignorant sometimes.
 
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