Dating Sites

[MercySparx]

When did I say I was studying lines or manipulation? What I am studying are conversation starters for dates. Some may be used on men, but many things said on a date are not something a guy says to his bros.

The main thing being flirting. I wouldn't flirt with my guy friends, but on a date, flirting with the woman would be a good idea. A date is on a more intimate level than friend conversations. It's not the same as friend talk on all levels.

Flirting is something you wouldn't do with your buddies. Now, is that offensive or insulting to flirt with your date? See, that's an example of how what you just wrote doesn't make sense.

I get what you are trying to say, that I should try to be myself with the woman, and I agree with that part.

To find a woman with the same exact interests as me is unrealistic. Plenty of relationships consist of people who don't have everything in common. You don't have to agree on everything. If you feel like you need to agree on everything with your mate, then you will never be able to settle down with anyone because you will always have stuff you disagree on.

You know, this is a helping website. Laughing at me for not knowing how to talk to girls and then calling me hypersensitive isn't exactly helping me.

I am trying to help, I guess I'm just more of a tough love kind of girl. I personally get uncomfortable by being flirted with until I know the person and we've been in a relationship for a while. I usually do this in a parody-type way, such as vlugarly sticking a beer bottle down my throat towards my boyfriend when no ones looking. I may be jaded though. I only intentionally flirt when I'm drunk, or trying to manipulate someone (in a joking manner). Flirting is something that just comes naturally and without your complete awareness.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Women care about looks as much as men do; it's the prime indicator seen from a Darwinian perspective on whether or not your potential mate has the desired set of genetics.

For a guy, factors like listed income come into play--in a far larger way than listed income would for girls. Girls mostly get messages from guys based on their pic, often without having read their profile at all. Messages guys get from girls show the girl usually does read the profile.

 

[OceanMist]

I am trying to help, I guess I'm just more of a tough love kind of girl. I personally get uncomfortable by being flirted with until I know the person and we've been in a relationship for a while. I usually do this in a parody-type way, such as vlugarly sticking a beer bottle down my throat towards my boyfriend when no ones looking. I may be jaded though. I only intentionally flirt when I'm drunk, or trying to manipulate someone (in a joking manner). Flirting is something that just comes naturally and without your complete awareness.

I must be a freak of nature then, because flirting usually doesn't come natural to me. Neither does talking in many cases.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that I've never been in love with a woman? That i've never truly connected with a woman enough to be totally intimate with her. I mean, I had a g/f once, but we definitely weren't in love.

 

[MercySparx]

I must be a freak of nature then, because flirting usually doesn't come natural to me. Neither does talking in many cases.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that I've never been in love with a woman? That i've never truly connected with a woman enough to be totally intimate with her. I mean, I had a g/f once, but we definitely weren't in love.

Once you meet a decent women, talk to her, CONNECT with her, gain trust, then you flirt. Not before. How can anyone open themselves up for that kind of vulnerability without a solid friendship behind it? I personally believe first comes friendship, then trust, THEN flirty flirt, then comes love.

I have done it backwards many times, doesn't work: First comes obsessive lust love (because he kind looks like keefer sutherland/billy idol/spike from Buffy), then lots of sex, then hormone driven attachment, then we might have something in common or two if we're lucky, then comes he's an ******* and I'm filing a restraining order.

 

[OceanMist]

Once you meet a decent women, talk to her, CONNECT with her, gain trust, then you flirt.

That's exactly what I'm trying to do. I understand what you are saying.

 

[Felgen]

For a guy, factors like listed income come into play--in a far larger way than listed income would for girls. Girls mostly get messages from guys based on their pic, often without having read their profile at all. Messages guys get from girls show the girl usually does read the profile.

Very few male engineers, medical doctors or economists would settle for a woman who made a living flipping burgers at McDonalds--regardless of how hot she was.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Probably not, but that's beside my point.

Bleargh. I don't know why I post in these threads. Never mind. I don't mean that as an insult to you, it's just I tire of the same old discussions, like Blue said.

 

[Felgen]

My point was that women aren't more or less shallow than men.

 

[Silatuyok]

Very few male engineers, medical doctors or economists would settle for a woman who made a living flipping burgers at McDonalds--regardless of how hot she was.

I respectfully disagree with that one, based on what I've seen. ::

 

[Kinetik]

For a guy, factors like listed income come into play--in a far larger way than listed income would for girls. Girls mostly get messages from guys based on their pic, often without having read their profile at all. Messages guys get from girls show the girl usually does read the profile.

You're absolutely right though, Nate. There's a reason the mail-order bride business is so big, and I'm quite certain most of the men who utilize such a service don't give a rat's ass as to whether their potential import is a doctor or a toilet cleaner. And I'll eat my hat if you can find me an American woman who's prepared to fly over a sexy Ukrainian burger-flipper.

If men feel helpless in the gender war, and get the sense that the pendulum has swung too far the other way, they can combat it by pursuing multiple women. Acting on that simple instinct we have for different partners combines all the ingredients needed to make the man in the equation more attractive to women, while simultaneously mitigating the potential for the man to be hurt.

 

[Felgen]

You're absolutely right though, Nate. There's a reason the mail-order bride business is so big, and I'm quite certain most of the men who utilize such a service don't give a rat's ass as to whether their potential import is a doctor or a toilet cleaner. On the other hand, I'm sure very few American women would fly over a sexy Ukrainian burger-flipper.

If men feel helpless in the gender war, and get the sense that the pendulum has swung too far the other way, they can combat it by pursuing multiple women. Acting on that simple instinct we have for different partners combines all the ingredients needed to make the man in the equation more attractive to women, while simultaneously mitigating the potential for the man to be hurt.

Plenty of middle-aged, unattractive Norwegian women marry handsome, 28 year old Turkish waiters.

How many men who use mail-order brides do actually deserve an attractive woman? None that I know.

 

[AGR]

I dont really believe women in dating sites look at how nice,how smart a guy is or his decisons in life,so it goes both ways as I said,income and pictures I can see it playing a good part,also in my experience with women who settle for money and financial stability is that they have the "sexy burger-flipper" on the side,but that was only my experiences,I cant tell about somebody else's.

 

[Kiwong]

The Thaicupid site advertised on here, sounds like the mail order type dating Felgen and Kinetik are talking about.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

its not that we dont have common interests or that we arent compatible. ive met good girls before but their flaw is they are with some jerkoff. we were totally compatible, but since i dont have that certain swagger he has then i get nothing, doomed to the friend zone. thats just the point im getting at. its not about compatibility its about swagger. why would said girl make this choice? is it because shes a terrible person?

No it's because she wasn't romantically attracted to you. Only she knows why that was - maybe she wasn't physically attracted to you, maybe she does feel a romantic attraction to guys who have what you call "swagger", maybe it was something else entirely. The point is, you weren't romantically compatible with this woman. You may have been compatible as friends, but that's a different thing. You can't say "We get along great, therefore you should want to date me" because unfortunately life doesn't work that way.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Women care about looks as much as men do; it's the prime indicator seen from a Darwinian perspective on whether or not your potential mate has the desired set of genetics.

I disagree. I'm not saying women are oblivious to looks, and obviously we can only ever generalise about this stuff, but my own observations are that I see a lot more women with less physically attractive men, than I see men with less physically attractive women. This suggests to me that women are more willing to date a man based on qualities other than his physical attractiveness, than a man is to date a woman he considers less physically attractive than himself.

 

[Felgen]

I disagree. I'm not saying women are oblivious to looks, and obviously we can only ever generalise about this stuff, but my own observations are that I see a lot more women with less physically attractive men, than I see men with less physically attractive women. This suggests to me that women are more willing to date a man based on qualities other than his physical attractiveness, than a man is to date a woman he considers less physically attractive than himself.

These ugly guys you see with hot chicks have money and lots of it. It's very uncommon to see an ugly man with a an attractive girl who've graduated from high school.

 

[OceanMist]

Very few male engineers, medical doctors or economists would settle for a woman who made a living flipping burgers at McDonalds--regardless of how hot she was.

The thing with that is the percentage of attractive women who work at mcdonalds is extremely low compared to higher wage jobs.

If you are speaking of a very attractive woman working at mcdonalds, you are speaking of a very very isolated case.

 

[Felgen]

The thing with that is the percentage of attractive women who work at mcdonalds is extremely low compared to higher wage jobs.

If you are speaking of a very attractive woman working at mcdonalds, you are speaking of a very very isolated case.

Maybe McDonald's was a bad example. But when I finish my degree in engineering, I'm not going to let someone who dropped out of high school and works as a clerk at the super market (there are attractive women who do) mooch of me. I'm sure women who has standards when it comes to men's salaries feel the same way.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

These ugly guys you see with hot chicks have money and lots of it. It's very uncommon to see an ugly man with a an attractive girl who've graduated from high school.

Well I never said ugly guys or hot chicks. It's more a case of average looking guys with higher than average looking girls. Most couples I see are fairly evenly matched when it comes to looks, but it's not uncommon to see a guy with a girl who is better looking, while it's far less common to see it the other way around. I don't think it's down to money either, as the guys don't look particularly loaded. I think it's just that girls in general will give other traits enough weighting to balance out a guy's looks, while a lot of guys place a great deal of importance on how a girl looks.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Maybe McDonald's was a bad example. But when I finish my degree in engineering, I'm not going to let someone who dropped out of high school and works as a clerk at the super market (there are attractive women who do) mooch of me.

That sounds a bit judgmental. It seems to imply that anyone who works at job that doesn't require higher qualifications is lazy, or looking to freeload off a future bf/husband.

How do you know that they didn't have to leave high school and find a job for a very good reason? Perhaps family circumstances forced them to do that. Maybe they actually enjoy their job as a clerk in the super market or whatever it is they do. Maybe they just weren't born with the academic mindset to go to college, or simply couldn't afford to do so. Perhaps they have other ambitions in life they're pursuing, and working at a store is helping them to do that. You just don't know.