Dating Sites

[Felgen]

That sounds a bit judgmental. It seems to imply that anyone who works at job that doesn't require higher qualifications is lazy, or looking to freeload off a future bf/husband.

How do you know that they didn't have to leave high school and find a job for a very good reason? Perhaps family circumstances forced them to do that. Maybe they actually enjoy their job as a clerk in the super market or whatever it is they do. Maybe they just weren't born with the academic mindset to go to college, or simply couldn't afford to do so. Perhaps they have other ambitions in life they're pursuing, and working at a store is helping them to do that. You just don't know.

High school in Norway is 100% free and fairly easy. I don't have anything against people who work in low-paying jobs, I just don't have the desire to buy them a house and a car without their contribution.

 

[Felgen]

Well I never said ugly guys or hot chicks. It's more a case of average looking guys with higher than average looking girls. Most couples I see are fairly evenly matched when it comes to looks, but it's not uncommon to see a guy with a girl who is better looking, while it's far less common to see it the other way around. I don't think it's down to money either, as the guys don't look particularly loaded. I think it's just that girls in general will give other traits enough weighting to balance out a guy's looks, while a lot of guys place a great deal of importance on how a girl looks.

I see men with more attractive women about as frequently as I see women with more attractive men.

 

[Waybuloo]

^i don't think hating women is the best way to get them to want to date you

i can't understand why you continually discount the advice of women themselves, when your approach is obviously not working for you

so from another male:

i've been married twice, i've dated a little

i've had sex 3,786 times with 33 different women

and i don't have any of these things:



it's not so much about being accepted because of my interests

it's about the interest i show in THEM - as people

to extend the metaphor...

women have the ball and possession of the court - it's the only game in town

if you want to play, you have to accept the rules and work within them

Wow I think you should have a disclaimer before revealing sexual statistics. That freaked me out big time...

I don't think it's true to say women have the ball and possession of the court. Not true at all ! There are plenty of women who agonise over why a guy won't call them and whether a guy is interested or not. If anything, women stress over relationship and romantic encounters much much more. So sometimes women call the shots, sometimes men.

 

[Waybuloo]

OceanMist, a conversation that's rehearsed or any sort of 'game' that's engineered ahead of time will feel manipulative and disingenuous - especially when you run out of said game and the woman realizes that she isn't dealing with the real you.

The thing is, there's nothing to study. You're saying that you have to beat out a million other guys in order to get the prize. You don't. What you have to do is be yourself around as many different women as possible. Don't pick one from the bunch and become attached to her or any one outcome relating to her - do your thing, and if there's a click, she'll feel it too and come right back at you. You don't need to do any convincing - you're trying to attract an equal partner, you're not selling a car. If she's not into it, move on very quickly and try again. And therein lies the secret - no emotional attachment before it's due, and keeping it a numbers game whereby you'll get results if you keep trying often enough with enough different women.

Good luck with the online dating.

Heh you tell him not to play games, then you explain something that sounds pretty much like game tactic to me.

What you need to do is read up on what makes people tick, what are good conversational starters, and make them your own. Don't have to stick to the book but having a clue is helpful.

 

[Waybuloo]

I respectfully disagree with that one, based on what I've seen. ::

I respectfully disagree too, based on personal and observed experiences.

 

[Waybuloo]

High school in Norway is 100% free and fairly easy. I don't have anything against people who work in low-paying jobs, I just don't have the desire to buy them a house and a car without their contribution.

I just hope for the girl's sake that if you ever fall in love with one working in a 'lowly job', your emotions won't get in the way of your logical determination.

 

[Felgen]

Wow I think you should have a disclaimer before revealing sexual statistics. That freaked me out big time...

I don't think it's true to say women have the ball and possession of the court. Not true at all ! There are plenty of women who agonise over why a guy won't call them and whether a guy is interested or not. If anything, women stress over relationship and romantic encounters much much more.

A woman can choose to call herself. Some women also need to realize that a man doesn't owe her anything in terms of feelings just because she has sex with him.

 

[coyote]

Wow I think you should have a disclaimer before revealing sexual statistics. That freaked me out big time...

sorry to freak you out

i am 47 remember - you can accomplish alot in 30 years, without even trying too hard

I don't think it's true to say women have the ball and possession of the court. Not true at all ! There are plenty of women who agonise over why a guy won't call them and whether a guy is interested or not. If anything, women stress over relationship and romantic encounters much much more.

you're right, i don't disagree with you at all

i was simply suggesting that the situation should be accepted the way it is - "fair" or not

complaining and laying blame doesn't get anyone anywhere

 

[Mickery]

Personal observations don't mean anything, that's why we have statistics. At marriage, women are around three years younger than their partners on average.

Statistics Norway: Age differences at marriage - The times they are achanging?

I am open to conflicting evidence, however the phenomenon seems well-recognized and consistent outside marriage as well, here's virtually the same numbers directly from the Australian Census results (notice that divorced men find far younger never-married women!).

4102.0 - Australian Social Trends, March 2009

I have to say... there is very obvious bitterness here and while it may be understandable up to a point, the best advice I can give you is to really get a hold of that bitterness and, as coyote said, learn to let go. Because it will affect the health of potential relationships in the future.

 

[Kiwong]

The decline in the proportion of married people in age groups under 65 years is partly explained by the increasing proportion of people living in de facto relationships, but more so by the increasing tendency for people to live without a partner.

I found this to be interesting.

 

[this_portrait]

Some women also need to realize that a man doesn't owe her anything in terms of feelings just because she has sex with him.

And why not? Not everyone thinks of sex lightly, y'know. To me (and plenty of others), sex is a very emotional thing. It takes time before it's given up, and at that point, feelings should be returned; being toyed around with is a terrible thing.

 

[Waybuloo]

sorry to freak you out

i am 47 remember - you can accomplish alot in 30 years, without even trying too hard



you're right, i don't disagree with you at all

i was simply suggesting that the situation should be accepted the way it is - "fair" or not

complaining and laying blame doesn't get anyone anywhere

It's good that you think of that as your accomplishment You must be a lucky guy.

I don't mean to compare and create a who's worse than who scenario, but you suggest that the ball is in the woman's court and that's just not true, as my examples suggest. So no it shouldn't be accepted.

 

[Felgen]

It's good that you think of that as your accomplishment You must be a lucky guy.

I don't mean to compare and create a who's worse than who scenario, but you suggest that the ball is in the woman's court and that's just not true, as my examples suggest. So no it shouldn't be accepted.

What exactly is wrong about his statement?

 

[Waybuloo]

What exactly is wrong about his statement?

I've explained that already.

 

[AGR]

oh please girls are just like guys,they care about looks just like guys,they cheat just like guys,they will do anything for a good lay just like guys,you are naive if you think not,you are in for a rude awekening,if you ever wake,I just expect that you are not deep into marriage or have sons when this happens,now I do think that there are different girls and guys,but they must be so few that maybe its better to live like they dont exist.

 

[Felgen]

oh please girls are just like guys,they care about looks just like guys,they cheat just like guys,they will do anything for a good lay just like guys,you are naive if you think not,you are in for a rude awekening,if you ever wake,I just expect that you are not deep into marriage or have sons when this happens,now I do think that there are different girls and guys,but they must be so few that maybe its better to live like they dont exist.

I agree with everything here except that girls will do anything for a good lay.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

It always amuses me how guys who have no experience with women claim to know what women want Anyway, when meeting someone online, men are afraid of meeting fatties and women are afraid of meeting psychos and women-haters. Both should proceed with caution to avoid facing their biggest fears in real life. I have dated men I met online in real life, but I didn't meet them in dating sites. I met them off sites we would both frequent, and of course, good old Yahoo! chat (sadly it is now infested with bots.) There are numerous articles on online dating out there; they all say a good, clear, current picture is a must. Multiple pictures are a must. That is why I could never do a dating site: I hate taking pictures!! Always trust your gut...if a person gives you a bad, uneasy feeling, run away as soon as you can. Safety first always. A few years back I read an excellent book on dating. It is a funny, easy read, but with loads of useful advice. I highly recommend it:

Amazon.com: How to Date in a Post-Dating World (9781570614705): Diane Mapes: Books

 

[Felgen]

And why not? Not everyone thinks of sex lightly, y'know. To me (and plenty of others), sex is a very emotional thing. It takes time before it's given up, and at that point, feelings should be returned; being toyed around with is a terrible thing.

Being used for an emotional tampon is much worse. I've been used for sex too, but guess what? I'm not entitled to anyone's emotions just because of that; I didn't give any of those girls anything they didn't give me and even if it does hurt to be called "weird" or being shunned afterwards, sleeping with someone who doesn't really like you as a person is better than leaving empty handed.

Homo Sapiens Sapiens have existed for 110 000 years--monogamous relationships between humans have existed for 5000 years.

 

[OceanMist]

And why not? Not everyone thinks of sex lightly, y'know. To me (and plenty of others), sex is a very emotional thing. It takes time before it's given up, and at that point, feelings should be returned; being toyed around with is a terrible thing.

Having sex with someone and dating someone are choices that individuals make. Nobody owes anybody anything. If any individual ever wants out of a relationship, they always have that right to leave.

Nobody owes anybody sex, relationship or emotional support. Dating and sex are all about what the one person wants. You should always be allowed to have the power to leave someone when you feel like it. It's always up to what the individual wants to do. There is no entitlement or debt owed.

With that said, I do understand where you are coming from. Leaving someone after having sex with them once is definitely immoral and rude if the person wants you to be there for them and you just leave. But, i still say one has the right to do that.