Date with someone I met online

[fitftw]

my stomach is in knots. I'm debating whether I'm going to blow this off and just not go at all. I'm going to be so nervous and awkward. Not gonna know what to say. Met her on a dating site, she messaged me first and we started talking online 4 days ago. She texted me asking me to get a drink with her at this bar tonight. I'm really scared you guys. I think she's really good-looking and we talked a lot, she's fun to talk to. I don't know why I'm so scared, I wish I wasn't. This sucks. I want her to like me, but I want to not care either way!

 

[kihira]

The future of this has already happened, go along to see it unfold. She likes you, this will set the pace. Look for the good in it, no matter where it goes. There is always good that can be found.

 

[BlueDays]

What have you got to lose?
Maybe you could try telling yourself that the uncomfortable feelings of a few hours may not be as bad as the constant regret of wondering what good things could have happened if you did go?

 

[Danfalc]

As horrible as your anxiety might be, I think if you decide to not go you will regret not knowing what could of maybe happened. I know it's very easy for me to sit here and say this when it isn't me who has to go through with it.

But this is something you want, and she obviously likes you a lot if she has invited you out...don't let your anxiety win mate. We might not always be able to control it or escape from it, but we don't have to let it dictate our lives. You can do this,

 

[Sial Axetder]

Go for it.

 

[fitftw]

wow thanks you guys. I think I will go through with it. I would regret it if I don't go, even if it doesn't go well. Who knows what might happen? It's just been a long time since I've 'connected' with a woman, maybe that's what I'm scared of, that I don't know 'how'. I dunno, but I'll let you guys know how it goes when I get home thanks again for the motivation

 

[Kiwong]

Good luck Bro.

 

[Felgen]

Even if the date turns out bad, you'll at least gain experience.

 

[fitftw]

well it went okay, but we probably won't see each other again. I picked her up from work, we talked a little and seemed to be getting along, and we went to a bar. Not where I normally want to be on a first date. I don't go out to bars much at all, but when I do I tend to get wasted...and I did...she pretty much knew everyone at the bar so she took me around to say hi to everybody. She was beautiful though. Like, out of my league beautiful. Here's a picture that I accidentally photobombed in the background

She's on the right. See how pretty? And see how ugly I am? lol.

Anyway, I ended up pounding down 4 long island iced teas within 2 hours, and we said our goodbyes and I drove home very wasted like an idiot. I'm simply very lucky to have made it home safe and not a) in jail or b) dead. I ended up passing out on the floor and woke up to throw up and then got into bed, woke up in the morning and puked a lot more. It took me all day yesterday to recuperate. I probably should've ate something that day before drinking, but I starved myself...

Hope I see her again, but for that to happen I probably need to ask her to do something...

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

well it went okay, but we probably won't see each other again. I picked her up from work, we talked a little and seemed to be getting along, and we went to a bar. Not where I normally want to be on a first date. I don't go out to bars much at all, but when I do I tend to get wasted...and I did...she pretty much knew everyone at the bar so she took me around to say hi to everybody. She was beautiful though. Like, out of my league beautiful. Here's a picture that I accidentally photobombed in the background

I would not want to date someone so outgoing. Is that what the problem was for you?

 

[fitftw]

yeah I think so. It can't work between us. She knows everyone, I know nobody. From talking to her on facebook and the dating website, she didn't seem to be the popular one, but she really is. Sometimes opposites attract, but this is like polar extreme opposite. Oh well.

 

[Just G]

Man, be proud of yourself for taking initiative. Don't worry about what went wrong, just deliberate on what you can improve on next time when you get tired fist pumping over how awesome you are right now.

Also, you're not a bad looking guy at all, bro. In fact, you're quite handsome. If she didn't fancy you in some way, more than likely, she wouldn't have even agreed to the date. She must of liked what she saw.

You're a rock star, baby!

 

[los77]

i don't believe you should write her off for being too outgoing... i know i wouldn't someone to write me off just cuz i'm very shy... If your scared that she might force you into more social situations I suggest you tell her that it's too stressing for you. if she can deal with that then awesome and if she cant the you'll know she's not worth the time.

 

[Feathers]

Yeah, fiftw, what's with the attitude??

You're a handsome hunk, face it bro!!

When I first saw you on the photo thread, I was like Whoa... WOW!!

And you know what girls think when someone is quiet and doesn't say much: 'Whoa.. mysterious stranger!!' (Kinda like Aragorn in LOTR, or something...)

So, it would only be a problem if she talked too much, or if she and you had different values/goals/wishes in life etc. Or if she'd want to drag you out in uncomfortable locations all the time.. (which you can counter with cool not-so-social date locations you can suggest, and see how happy she's there.. maybe she just wanted to be somewhere 'safe' for the 1st date, and might be okay with going somewhere more private with you then later.. might even be flattered that you want to be alone with her..)

you can also ask her, how she likes to spend her time etc. and see from the answers, how often she goes to social thingies etc.
maybe she worked in the bar at a time and that's why everyone knows her?
(I know an ex-waitress who likes to go on long walks alone tho too.. maybe a bit too cold for that now, or what's the weather over there?)

You know a lot of people here too, and does it make her a 'loser' that she doesn't know any of us here? hmm, thing to consider??
(You may be seen to be 'glamorous' to have international pen-friends, aye? )

 

[kc1980]

Nice job on going to that date, that's already an achievement in itself. It's hard to tell for me how much of a connection you two made there of course, it might have been very busy in this bar, a bit too for you to get to now each other better.

I think there are people who are outgoing, and can't handle people who are different, but there are also very outgoing people who are not so judgemental , and can accept shyness. In that last case it can be a workable match.

Like you said, probably the only real mistake you made was the drink-driving, because that can have far more serious consequences. Could you have called a taxi or were you just too far gone to think of that? Was your date also drunk? I guess a good rule to avoid getting overly drunk is to at least never drink more than the girl does.

I'm certainly not a dating expert, but maybe you can propose another meeting in a more relaxed surrounding for the second date, maybe a place you know, so that there is more opportunity to talk one on one?

 

[DespairSoul]

Hello mann with hedgehog i had too one but only one day mom decide he is to much dirty and i cant keep him because he bring me sickness such a bull****.

Im sorry tho hear that u was feeling bad and i understand date in bar this i too dont imagine like a first date,not only because of anxiety but also cuz u cant hear word lol.
I hope u will meet again guys and make up. And if not u still keep your account on dating site and keep going for your happiness. Atleast u cant now regret and i guess for sure u had some fun time there, and feeling little relaxed.

 

[ripewithdecay]

At first I thought you were suggesting that the person on the left was you. I was thinking 'Now why on Earth did this guy go out wearing a blonde wig and makeup??'
But, my bad, i see you now in the back, hah..

 

[BlueDays]

You were very brave for going, fitftw!
Sorry to hear she turned out to be too outgoing.

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

Fit! Way to go brother! I'm jealous! You have no idea!
You look fine too man. Much man love for you. I don't think girls will find a hard time finding you attractive.
You're damn right about that girl though. She's hot as hell.
I would give anything to be able to go on a date like that.
I mean I had my days, and some fun stories (lost my virginity to a blind online date) but that was years ago unfortunately.

So hey, are you still rooming with your friend? A girl wasn't it? You two never hit it off?

Alright well, much luck to you in future endeavors lol.
Peace.

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

At first I thought you were suggesting that the person on the left was you. I was thinking 'Now why on Earth did this guy go out wearing a blonde wig and makeup??'
But, my bad, i see you now in the back, hah..

lol.

Hey, you see Trent Reznor win a golden globe?
Pretty neat. The movie sucked balls, but even when I watched social network, all I was thinking was the music is the only thing I like.

(sorry to hijack your topic fit, just a quick nod that's all)