Daily Adventures with Weirdy

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

I haven't really been going out daily at all and now I'm in less of a mood for anything...
My therapist is leaving the clinic right when I had begun to feel okay talking to her (it took more than a year... haha) and now I'll be put on a list to meet with someone else and start all over again.

boo

I'm going back to bed.

Sorry you have to go through all that again. You shouldn't have to deal with a new therapist only after you just gotten comfortable with the previous one.

If I was you I'd pull a "What About Bob" on her as a punishment for leaving.

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

I haven't really been going out daily at all and now I'm in less of a mood for anything...
My therapist is leaving the clinic right when I had begun to feel okay talking to her (it took more than a year... haha) and now I'll be put on a list to meet with someone else and start all over again.

boo

I'm going back to bed.

Did she say she leaving for good or is she going to be coming back I miss that part I guess. It sound like you are doing good I am proud of you keep up the good work Weirdy.

JuiceB said: ↑

If I was you I'd pull a "What About Bob" on her as a punishment for leaving.

haha
Love the movie but I doubt I'd ever be able to pull it off since I'm agoraphobic and not... manipulative obsessive-compulsive, dependent personality disorder.

Bo592 said: ↑

Did she say she leaving for good or is she going to be coming back I miss that part I guess. It sound like you are doing good I am proud of you keep up the good work Weirdy.

I didn't speak to her on the phone but if she was dropping me as a patient, it would be because she is moving to the city; as she's also dropping the 2 other agoraphobic patients she was seeing.

So- I had appointments with TWO therapists last friday before leaving town.
TWO.
And I have to choose one or the other by this friday.
I felt equally nervous talking to both of them-- A is slightly older than B and specializes in anxiety, while B sees mostly patients for addictions and stress.
A is at the office I am familiar with, with a waiting room and secretary.
B is at a private office with no waiting room.
A would more than likely be scheduling appointments bi-monthly.
B does home visits and walking visits and makes her own schedule.
A would be focusing on coping techniques and working on skills I know about but aren't second nature to me and we would only have 6 appointments before she would have to drop me as a patient.
B does more speaking therapy and problem solving and said that she doesn't stick to the 6 appointment rule.

I don't really know what I'm supposed to do but it seems like B is probably 'easier' whereas A will challenge me to do more out of my comfort zone which would probably be good for me... but then again- I'm supposed to be working on therapy for PTSD and not just focusing on my anxiety, as it's not the root diagnosis.
I just hate that I have to call one or the other and 'break up' with them... seems awkward. I've never broken up with anyone. -__-'
hah.

Maybe try B first. You could always go back to A if you feel that one is going to be more beneficial.

MikeyC said: ↑

Maybe try B first. You could always go back to A if you feel that one is going to be more beneficial.

actually-- the thing is that A has a longer waiting list if I have to re-start at that clinic; so it could take me 6-8 months to get back in there.
And B can pick up my file again within a month of waiting.

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

actually-- the thing is that A has a longer waiting list if I have to re-start at that clinic; so it could take me 6-8 months to get back in there.
And B can pick up my file again within a month of waiting.

There you go. B it is! 🙂

Busy day.

Sister had her baby at 3am - home birth- no drugs and no complications.
Baby is 8lbs 7oc and totally perfect and healthy.

In other news- grandpa on mom's side was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and he's not going to bother with treatment or go to a hospital for his remaining time, and grandma on dad's side was diagnosed with lupus.

And it's one of those days where I'm not feeling anything and don't really care; although I know I should feel excited and happy for my sister, worried for grandma and sad for grandma.
I'll just pretend though. I know it's the right thing to do, so I'll say words as if I do care and maybe tomorrow I will?

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

Sister had her baby at 3am - home birth- no drugs and no complications.
Baby is 8lbs 7oc and totally perfect and healthy.

Awesome! A happy, healthy baby is a very good start.

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

And it's one of those days where I'm not feeling anything and don't really care; although I know I should feel excited and happy for my sister, worried for grandma and sad for grandma.
I'll just pretend though. I know it's the right thing to do, so I'll say words as if I do care and maybe tomorrow I will?

Something bothering you?

MikeyC said: ↑

Awesome! A happy, healthy baby is a very good start.


Something bothering you?

Depression?
I tend to go through long periods of time where I can't really feel things other than sadness. I think that's part of being depressed.



So, I ended up getting sick yesterday. It's worse today-- feels like my throat is bleeding.
Apparently I caught the same thing brother's friend has... which is wonderful. Especially since I obsessively wash my hands and have never actually seen or spoken to him face to face.
So mom is going to visit sister and new baby alone.

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

Depression?
I tend to go through long periods of time where I can't really feel things other than sadness. I think that's part of being depressed.



So, I ended up getting sick yesterday. It's worse today-- feels like my throat is bleeding.
Apparently I caught the same thing brother's friend has... which is wonderful. Especially since I obsessively wash my hands and have never actually seen or spoken to him face to face.
So mom is going to visit sister and new baby alone.

I'm so sorry Weirdy, I really hope you feel better soon. Hang in there.

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

Busy day.

Sister had her baby at 3am - home birth- no drugs and no complications.
Baby is 8lbs 7oc and totally perfect and healthy.

In other news- grandpa on mom's side was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and he's not going to bother with treatment or go to a hospital for his remaining time, and grandma on dad's side was diagnosed with lupus.

And it's one of those days where I'm not feeling anything and don't really care; although I know I should feel excited and happy for my sister, worried for grandma and sad for grandma.
I'll just pretend though. I know it's the right thing to do, so I'll say words as if I do care and maybe tomorrow I will?

^ I'm glad your sister had a wonderful, healthy baby. You're an aunt, congrats! 🙂

Really sorry to hear about your grandparents though. My grandmother died of lupus before I was even born, so I have no idea what she was like. She seemed like a laid back and easy going person, from what I've heard from other relatives and read since my aunt gave me one of her letters back from the 50s. It's probably one of the most cherished things I own. She was extremely pretty too, and short, looking at photos. A friend once told me I looked like her after seeing the photo we have, but I don't think my looks should ever compare. She was a model, and I'm certainly not model material.

Sorry, I completely went off track.
Hugs to you, miss Weirdy. I hope you feel better soon.

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

Depression?
I tend to go through long periods of time where I can't really feel things other than sadness. I think that's part of being depressed.

Well, okay, but I thought it may have been more than that....

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

Depression?
I tend to go through long periods of time where I can't really feel things other than sadness. I think that's part of being depressed.



So, I ended up getting sick yesterday. It's worse today-- feels like my throat is bleeding.
Apparently I caught the same thing brother's friend has... which is wonderful. Especially since I obsessively wash my hands and have never actually seen or spoken to him face to face.
So mom is going to visit sister and new baby alone.

I hope you start to feel better soon Weirdy. (((Hugs)))

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

Depression?
I tend to go through long periods of time where I can't really feel things other than sadness. I think that's part of being depressed.



So, I ended up getting sick yesterday. It's worse today-- feels like my throat is bleeding.
Apparently I caught the same thing brother's friend has... which is wonderful. Especially since I obsessively wash my hands and have never actually seen or spoken to him face to face.
So mom is going to visit sister and new baby alone.

Oh. The depression sounds very painful, along with your current illness. I wish better for you, so sorry.

Phoenixx said: ↑

^ I'm glad your sister had a wonderful, healthy baby. You're an aunt, congrats! 🙂

Really sorry to hear about your grandparents though. My grandmother died of lupus before I was even born, so I have no idea what she was like. She seemed like a laid back and easy going person, from what I've heard from other relatives and read since my aunt gave me one of her letters back from the 50s. It's probably one of the most cherished things I own. She was extremely pretty too, and short, looking at photos. A friend once told me I looked like her after seeing the photo we have, but I don't think my looks should ever compare. She was a model, and I'm certainly not model material.

Sorry, I completely went off track.
Hugs to you, miss Weirdy. I hope you feel better soon.

I've been an aunt a few times. Mom emailed me earlier when I was sleeping to tell me that apparently my sister named me as the godmother of baby if anything were to happen to her. Her life insurance benefits also go to me if anything happens to her, so I guess she sees me as being trustworthy.
I always feel like she must hate me for being so useless- but I guess this is evidence of the contrary.

I know so little about Lupus and am still doing research but it's so varied that it's kind of hard to tell what changes grandma should make to her lifestyle.
I did notice that all of the symptoms have actually fit her for as far back as I can remember; and they fit me as well.
I never considered it because there was no family history and we're not sure if grandma has drug induced lupus from being on hundreds of prescriptions for the last 40 years or if she always had it and it's just a more 'mild'/livable version of the disease but it's another thing to add to my list and get tested for.
My other grandma on my mom's side was a singer/actress and looked like a dead ringer for Liz Taylor at her best. Some family members say I look like she did when she was my age but I don't see it, either. haha
Guess it's a compliment, yes? Even if it's not really true-- that's still someone calling you lovely, Phoenixx.



Thanks for the good wishes, everyone.

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

I've been an aunt a few times. Mom emailed me earlier when I was sleeping to tell me that apparently my sister named me as the godmother of baby if anything were to happen to her. Her life insurance benefits also go to me if anything happens to her, so I guess she sees me as being trustworthy.
I always feel like she must hate me for being so useless- but I guess this is evidence of the contrary.

^ That's so great, Weirdy, for your sister to do all that for you. 🙂 It is very obvious she doesn't hate you and I'm not sure how or why you would think otherwise.

I know so little about Lupus and am still doing research but it's so varied that it's kind of hard to tell what changes grandma should make to her lifestyle.
I did notice that all of the symptoms have actually fit her for as far back as I can remember; and they fit me as well.
I never considered it because there was no family history and we're not sure if grandma has drug induced lupus from being on hundreds of prescriptions for the last 40 years or if she always had it and it's just a more 'mild'/livable version of the disease but it's another thing to add to my list and get tested for.
My other grandma on my mom's side was a singer/actress and looked like a dead ringer for Liz Taylor at her best. Some family members say I look like she did when she was my age but I don't see it, either. haha
Guess it's a compliment, yes? Even if it's not really true-- that's still someone calling you lovely, Phoenixx.

^ I believe my grandmother had inherited it, so it's in the genetics somewhere. Kind of weird though too since no one else in the family had it. Kind of like my mom though and her epilepsy. That was inherited, yet no one in her family that she knows of has it either. Strange recessive genes. 🙄

Yes, it is still a compliment either way. Might as well take it even if I don't completely agree. 😉

So, grandpa is out of the hospital now. Mom and her sister are staying with him for now.
He has stage 4 liver and kidney cancer and is opting out of treatment because he'd rather spend his last days at home with his dog, on the water, eating food he likes and reading his favourite books.

I cried myself to sleep yesterday because I've been so stressed.
Mom left 2 weeks ago to stay with grandpa and I'm here alone with my brother who constantly has his friends (STRANGERS) in the house, making messes and eating our already scarce food supply.
I told him yesterday that I was uncomfortable with him leaving for 6 hours while 2 of his friends whom I know nothing about- stayed in his room.
He asked why. Completely oblivious.
So, I told him that being near strangers and having people whom I do not know anything about gives me severe panic attacks.
He walked out into the hallway and TOLD them right infront of me and they were like; 'really? why's your sister so ****ing weird?'

So, after trying to explain WHY I felt that way and completely failing-- he left with them.
I barricaded my bedroom door and cried myself to sleep.

I haven't been able to eat much lately. Everything gives me intestinal pain or makes me throw up. My face is breaking out and we just got a hand delivered notice that our power will be cut off on friday if we don't pay a minimum of half our bill-- which is ridiculous...
I've never had a power company who hounded people for a bill that totalled 250 dollars. Never.
So, I need to magically pull 125 dollars out of my ass and go to the office to pay in person... when I paid mom my rent on the 1st and had no money left over and I guess she didn't pay any of the bills, so I don't know what's going on... and I just opened another last notice bill for cable/internet/phone. Wonderful.

My sister thinks I hate her because she had a baby (before me)
I haven't been to see her since the baby was born because I got sick and then we got all sorts of terrible news and mom had to leave and we're not about to leave my brother in charge of the house because-- although he is 18 now; he certainly doesn't act like it.
We'd leave him alone for 3 days and the entire house would be trashed.
It's happened before.
I literally have to clean the entire house every other day. 2 sinkloads of dishes every day. Sweep all of the floors every day because he and his friends leave dirt and mud tracks all over the place... clean the tar out of the sink every day...

I would rather be living alone and dealing with all these things.
I could just die right now.

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

Mom left 2 weeks ago to stay with grandpa and I'm here alone with my brother who constantly has his friends (STRANGERS) in the house, making messes and eating our already scarce food supply.
I told him yesterday that I was uncomfortable with him leaving for 6 hours while 2 of his friends whom I know nothing about- stayed in his room.
He asked why. Completely oblivious.
So, I told him that being near strangers and having people whom I do not know anything about gives me severe panic attacks.
He walked out into the hallway and TOLD them right infront of me and they were like; 'really? why's your sister so ****ing weird?'

This is wildly irresponsible of your brother to leave you with his friends in your house. His friends are also humongous jerks for saying that; it's none of their business what you're like and frankly it's upsetting that they can't see why you would be so upset about that. I don't blame you one iota for barricading yourself in your room.

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

I haven't been able to eat much lately. Everything gives me intestinal pain or makes me throw up. My face is breaking out and we just got a hand delivered notice that our power will be cut off on friday if we don't pay a minimum of half our bill-- which is ridiculous...
I've never had a power company who hounded people for a bill that totalled 250 dollars. Never.
So, I need to magically pull 125 dollars out of my ass and go to the office to pay in person... when I paid mom my rent on the 1st and had no money left over and I guess she didn't pay any of the bills, so I don't know what's going on... and I just opened another last notice bill for cable/internet/phone. Wonderful.

I wish I could help. I really do. There's nothing I can say here except that I hope it all works out.

You've gone through hell recently, Weirdy. I hope it all turns around.

Thanks for always replying, Mikey.
You're a good dude.

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

Thanks for always replying, Mikey.
You're a good dude.

You're welcome.