Childish behavior

[Dark angel]

Ok, so, usually my personality around loved ones is pretty happy and you can say even childish. Around my mother and brothers I talk like a little girl, but I tend to this when I'm on an uncomfortable situation too and my voice changes from one of a young woman to a little girl's voice. It's nothing new, I've always done it. But today I had a cousin over and she told me that I was one of her resolutions for this year. I ask her why she said that and she told me that she wanted to help me to made a transition from this little girl that's still inside in order for me become a real young woman. She started saying that she wanted me to change my image a little bit and that she wanted to upgrade how I look a little bit.
I'm not the dressy type of girl, for me, a shirt, a pair of jeans and sneakers are fine. Then also she try to encourage me to lose some weight. (which was unnecessary because I'm already trying to shed off some pounds)
Here's the thing, I felt sort of insulted and humiliated because I've known for years that I need to become this young woman already. I know that I need to start behaving like a 24 year old and change my lifestyle and the way I interact BUT my shyness won't allow me too. It is not simple to change overnight because this is whom I've been for many years. At the same time I wouldn't like to lose that childish, perky and bubbly personality entirely because is part of who I am. Is not a thing of immaturity, because I do not consider myself immature or inaproppiate. I know how to behave according to the situations.The reason why I got mad (AND started crying) is because she simply does not understand and not get it. Also she made me feel like a total weirdo afterwards.
I did appreciated her effort to help me and the whole approach thing but still felt like sh**.I was wondering if I was the only one who had this type of behavior? And what should I do to stop it, if you consider is wrong.

 

[EasySkanking]

Do not confuse the "child at heart" attribute with underdevelopment due to social anxiety/shyness - they are different, though both use the word "child" in their definitions.

I think it was nice of your cousin to make you her "new year's resolution" - it shows that she cares. There's no better compliment than that, in my opinion.

 

[OceanMist]

I agree with the OP, that is a degrading thing to tell someone that they are their new years resolution. Your cousin is basically telling you there is something wrong with you and she wants to fix it.

The real question is, what do you want? Seek that, instead of doing what your cousin wants.

 

[Section_31]

Personally i think your cousin should have focused on herself and her own life.

It drives me crazy when people decide their lives arent interesting enough that they need to start looking for issues in others. Im really sorry you had to go through this *hug*

 

[kc1980]

It sounds like this part of your personality is not a bad thing at all, it's on the contrary maybe even an attractive part of it. Maybe it's not to everybody's taste, but some people will like it. So I would certainly not try to "suppress" it or something like that. Even people who are not shy at all can be like that. Some people who are very shy tend to become very unemotional and dull and serious on the outside (me for example), that's probably worse.
It sounds like your cousin certainly had good intentions, and she must like you a lot, but maybe she made some miscalculations in reading your personality. Though I don't think you should follow her advice, and try to completely change who you are, maybe she can still help with some smaller steps which can help you deal better with social anxiety. Maybe she has some good tips on how to handle particular situations, on how to approach people for example, that at this point you don't dare to yet. So look at it from the bright side and maybe she will be able to help you and you can gain some skills through her, but just not change completely who you are for her sake.

 

[Dark angel]

kc1980, I understand what you mean about being becoming dull and unemotional. Because although I behave in that childish way, when I'm around others( on a classroom for example) I behave like a robot. It seems to be I'm a hybrid. Lol.
About my cousin, I appreciated her approach, I know she did it with the best intentions but I couldn't help feeling the way I did and needed to share it with someone. So, thank you guys

 

[spring]

I am kinda this way too,mostly around my boyfriend.at other times I'm mostly cold and reserved and have a hard time showing my emotions.the other thing that adds to it is that I did not have a very good childhood and never felt like a child,so childish attitude around someone who loves me,feels like making up for the lost time.
I am 21 so I'm not a child either,but I have no problem with being childish and needy sometimes,I enjoy it very much.in my heart I feel like this is the right thing to do now.

 

[Falkor]

Yea I feel like this too, It sucks. I feel awkward and embarrassed.
I'm like a hyperactive kid sometimes, especially around my younger brother.
I also tend to act like funny around kids, they like it though. so that's cool.

But around my family,girl,school etc... I try to be more relaxed and serious.

I do like the statement Child at heart though. I 'still' love animation movies and disney movies and i like stuffed animals.
i don't think that is a prob, i just think my behaviour, is weird.

It comes from my insecurity, i start to feel weird and then i act real uncomfortable, and shy... Shyness is crap for me.
I really want to be like my aunt, she doesn't even mind to burp around strangers, she just say, oh whatever need to do guys!
and she acts sooo chilled out.. Like hey how ya doing gals? That's my idol!

I will try to be more like her, chilled out and relaxed... I started by wearing just a sport suit at school. I just want to see if people care anyway.
And how I feel. I shouldn't care about what people think, I'm in that mood today.

I want to just chill out today.. and the thought helps extremely good this point of view. I talked a lot with my aunt yesterday and i will just become more chill. she tells me i can, she even tells me i can sing on stage, even though i feel extreme anxious, it still matters what i did 2 years ago, being isolated from everything, no school, no friends, still performed on stage and cried even there.. but she loved it she thought i was still doing great but wasn't ready yet, now i am she says (oh well, i don't think YET, but i know that her way of relaxing is the perfect vibe), she's so cool.

 

[Dark angel]

Your aunt sound so cool! I have a friend that reminds me a lot to her. She's very spontanous and does theatre so she's not shy at all. She's been telling me that I should take acting classes to help me overcome my shyness, which I'm going to do this semester, even when I'm not so sure about it. I would like to be more like her because she really doesn't care about what anyone else thinks about her and does not let criticism affect her too much.
Like you, I like stuff animals and animated movies, so we have things in common. My room drawer is actually filled with them and my bed has three. Lol. Sometimes, I think about giving them to some charity of children in needs to see if not having them around can help me grow up a little bit further, but doing that wont take away my love for stuffed animals!

 

[Bo592]

Ok, so, usually my personality around loved ones is pretty happy and you can say even childish. Around my mother and brothers I talk like a little girl, but I tend to this when I'm on an uncomfortable situation too and my voice changes from one of a young woman to a little girl's voice. It's nothing new, I've always done it. But today I had a cousin over and she told me that I was one of her resolutions for this year. I ask her why she said that and she told me that she wanted to help me to made a transition from this little girl that's still inside in order for me become a real young woman. She started saying that she wanted me to change my image a little bit and that she wanted to upgrade how I look a little bit.
I'm not the dressy type of girl, for me, a shirt, a pair of jeans and sneakers are fine. Then also she try to encourage me to lose some weight. (which was unnecessary because I'm already trying to shed off some pounds)
Here's the thing, I felt sort of insulted and humiliated because I've known for years that I need to become this young woman already. I know that I need to start behaving like a 24 year old and change my lifestyle and the way I interact BUT my shyness won't allow me too. It is not simple to change overnight because this is whom I've been for many years. At the same time I wouldn't like to lose that childish, perky and bubbly personality entirely because is part of who I am. Is not a thing of immaturity, because I do not consider myself immature or inaproppiate. I know how to behave according to the situations.The reason why I got mad (AND started crying) is because she simply does not understand and not get it. Also she made me feel like a total weirdo afterwards.
I did appreciated her effort to help me and the whole approach thing but still felt like sh**.I was wondering if I was the only one who had this type of behavior? And what should I do to stop it, if you consider is wrong.

I been thought this with my family. I try all the time coming up with all kind of crazy Ideas to make myself better. like inching my way along the sidewalk pretenting to have a drug problem so they would notice me. come up with this crazy idea how I am going save up money so can use cab for once because I can ask any of them for rides anymore, posting letters all over there wall saying I need help came save me S.O.S, and more and more ha haha I got a million of them. Then after all that crazy stuff then they come up and tell me and say " so your trying to say your finally ready to get your life together. " So then I just tell them " No, I was just playing. just looking for a good laugh " No really you say your childish, perky with bubbly personality I love that in women and you also say you can change your voice to that rocks your cool. I don`t thank you have to change who you are. be who you are, love who you are I did not read anything about you yet that tell me you need to change.

 

[EasySkanking]

I agree with the OP, that is a degrading thing to tell someone that they are their new years resolution. Your cousin is basically telling you there is something wrong with you and she wants to fix it.

But there is something "wrong" about her - and she said so herself (probably why she is on this site in the first place.) And, her cousin said that she wanted to help her - not *fix* her... in my opinion (and that's being nice about it, it really is fact), when someone tries to help you with a problem that you have - that's a pretty damn nice thing to do

 

[Dark angel]

Yeah, I admit there's something "wrong" about me and I recognize it. I understood my cousin's intention and it is a pretty nice gesture that she wants to help me. I do not understand why am I so invisible sometimes (which is very convenient in most cases), but it seems to be that my cousin sees me a certain way. And yeah, is nice that she wants to help, is just that I couldn't bear listening to it when she was talking to me about it. Is like you already recognize there's a problem underneath, but let along you have to LISTEN to it from another person. The thing is that the whole conversation accentuated the whole problem. It made me feel like in a spotlight, which is not a nice place to be.