Can't stop staring at people
- Thread starter John S
- Start date
I just noticed that when I see pictures of people or things that make me uncomfortable, such as attractive people on TV, I feel an intense urge to look away immediately. The more I look, the more I guilt myself into thinking I'm pervy. Sometimes I just don't want to look rude in front of others who make me feel uncomfortable, so I keep maintaining eye contact and pretending everything is fine and dandy. It's so unnatural. But sometimes i get scolded by strangers for actually not greeting or making eye contact. But you know what? I should stop being a people pleaser and just do what's comfortable for me. Be true to myself.
feelsconfusing
Member
I wish everyone sharing this disorder would do updates every so often in this thread so I feel a bit hopeful xD I hope everyone is doing well...
feelsconfusing
Member
@Helpless- I feel you. I feel out of place in crowds... I don't want to stare and feel comfortable. But I can't so I just wish to leave.
hardy
Well-known member
A breathing exercise that calms panic attacks.
this might help when u r out facing this hellish problem...try it..!
Funny enough, this is what I do when I get nauseous in car or plane rides. When I get dizzy and feel the urge to vomit, I unconsciously slow down my breathing, which often causes me to yawn and feel sleepy. I feel much better afterwards, but wasn't sure why it made me feel better.
I've notice that the more you think when your are in a crowd it causes you to have anxiety, as in our case staring. If you find yourself in a stressful situation you have to remain calm and most important to not think about anything.
I believe that the cause for this is excessive thinking and therefore manifest into this problem.
Self control and not allowing myself to think when I'm in a stressful situation (crowd, family meeting, etc...) really helps me cope with this mental illness. You guys should try it out and see how it goes.
I believe that the cause for this is excessive thinking and therefore manifest into this problem.
Self control and not allowing myself to think when I'm in a stressful situation (crowd, family meeting, etc...) really helps me cope with this mental illness. You guys should try it out and see how it goes.
It's incredible how much I can relate many of these posts. I thought I was the only one out there but reading these stories are like flashbacks of what I have dealt with and still am for the past 3 years. Out of all the different anxieties
there are in this world, why does it have to be our eyes? I'm 22 years old and this thing is kicking my ***. It happens at work, school, and even at the gym. At the some guys think I'm gay and can't help but to unintentionally watch them in my peripherals while I workout. At school people that sit next to me think I cheat off their tests and people think I watch them. And at work both guys and girls think I have some obsession with them because I unintentionally make eye contact and later notice them in my peripherals. And to top it off my bros gf has noticed it too and pretty much tells my bro but he's too nice to say anything. (I'm the little brother) It's horrible. I heard one of my many bosses (main stream retail store) talking about me to some guy that works with me about all of the people I've stared at and scared off. At that moment I was just in awe. I began to feel my heart race and was nonstop thinking about it. It's like you realllly couldn't talk about it where I cant hear it? Then some new girl started working right besides me and I said hi to try to beat the awkwardness to the situation and turned around and tried to never look in her direction but I guess in the very corner of my eyes it seemed that I was trying to look back and look at her. So she goes and tells my boss (the same one that was talking about it half an hour ago) and she tells her to go move somewhere else. Looking at her was the LAST thing I wanted to do and since I had just heard my boss talking about it openly, It was all I could think of. It's like GREAT. The small progress I had made in the last few months all gone. I work tomorrow and am not excited to see this unfold. (Not to mention there's a guy who has long hair and dresses like a girl that also thinks the same thing) it's awesome so many people thing I'm a creep. Like if anyone saw me they would NOT expect me to have these issues.
And that story is just one of the many. This really sucks
there are in this world, why does it have to be our eyes? I'm 22 years old and this thing is kicking my ***. It happens at work, school, and even at the gym. At the some guys think I'm gay and can't help but to unintentionally watch them in my peripherals while I workout. At school people that sit next to me think I cheat off their tests and people think I watch them. And at work both guys and girls think I have some obsession with them because I unintentionally make eye contact and later notice them in my peripherals. And to top it off my bros gf has noticed it too and pretty much tells my bro but he's too nice to say anything. (I'm the little brother) It's horrible. I heard one of my many bosses (main stream retail store) talking about me to some guy that works with me about all of the people I've stared at and scared off. At that moment I was just in awe. I began to feel my heart race and was nonstop thinking about it. It's like you realllly couldn't talk about it where I cant hear it? Then some new girl started working right besides me and I said hi to try to beat the awkwardness to the situation and turned around and tried to never look in her direction but I guess in the very corner of my eyes it seemed that I was trying to look back and look at her. So she goes and tells my boss (the same one that was talking about it half an hour ago) and she tells her to go move somewhere else. Looking at her was the LAST thing I wanted to do and since I had just heard my boss talking about it openly, It was all I could think of. It's like GREAT. The small progress I had made in the last few months all gone. I work tomorrow and am not excited to see this unfold. (Not to mention there's a guy who has long hair and dresses like a girl that also thinks the same thing) it's awesome so many people thing I'm a creep. Like if anyone saw me they would NOT expect me to have these issues.
And that story is just one of the many. This really sucks
Taken from Wikipedia,"People suffering from hypervigilance may become preoccupied with studying their environment for possible threats, causing them to lose connections with their family and friends. They will 'overreact' to loud and unexpected noises or become agitated in highly crowded or noisy environments."
Yup, that's definitely me. :kickingmyself:
I have officially developed OCD because of this problem. I couldn't hold eye contact for more than a few seconds without being concerned that I'll be labeled as gay/dumb/whatever. In crowded restaurants, I can't help but pay more attention to the people sitting around me rather than the person I'm sitting with. There's definitely some sort of correlation between overactive peripheral vision, staring, and SA. Sometimes I intentionally narrow my eyes especially when I think people are talking about me. It's probably an unconscious reaction to being in a nervous situation. People thought I was sleepy/dense because of my narrowed eyes and gossiped more.
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Kiwong
Well-known member
Hypervigililance. I certainly study my environment for threats usually the people who are angry or seem to have a problem with me. I keep an eye out for them. I've heard people say 'stop looking', I'm only looking at the targets I want to avoid.
I am aware that normal, extraverted people do stare at others. It's not so much the staring that's a stigma, but the person doing the staring. If some hot extraverted guy stares at girls, people'd think it's normal, nothing interesting. But if it's someone unattractive, unpopular who's doing the staring, he/she could receive a huge backlash. In my experience, hot/attractive/cute people get away with staring. When people see a cute kid staring at them, they go "ahhh..." When boys see a hot girl staring at them, they think it's flattering, maybe fun. But when an unpopular, unattractive person does the staring, he/she receives different reactions.
YellowBird
Well-known member
i stare a lot too,i think it makes people angry because they assume i'm criticizing them,which isn't the case,i'm so lonely,i think that if i stare at people long enough,i'll understand them and create some intimacy.