Can't stop staring at people
- Thread starter John S
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zen_mistress
Well-known member
Facebook group for this problem: https://www.facebook.com/groups/OCDstarring/
JesterDolls
Member
I can't take this anymore. This problem has ruined my life. I do want to leave the house and I hate it when people come over. If I asked my mother if I did anything weird and if she says "no" (which is ever time), I just think that she's lying and just didn't see me. I always here people talking about how I stare at them are look at them or how I avoid them. I feel like the town freak. My highschool talks about me, my neighbors, my family, people I don't even know warn other people about. I just want all to stop.
you just gotta keep your head up. tell yourself that know matter what don't look at anyone face. no matter how hard it is tell yourself to don't look at people. (repeat it only once but keep that thought in your head) you gotta be strong. forgive yourself because nobody else will.
your not the only one suffering here. everyone of us has suffer. some even greater.
your not the only one suffering here. everyone of us has suffer. some even greater.
^I try to tell myself this but end up overdoing it. I probably look very shady to people. Who knew social interaction can be this hard!
Anyways, I notice that when guys stare at girls, it's ok and people don't think it's a bad thing. I think they even call it a "sport" where guys go check out girls on a beach, lawn, or somewhere. But when girls do the staring, it's somehow creepy and weird. They can be branded as lesbian.
It's not fair. There are some advantages inherent to one gender over the other. Guys can wear the same shirts and pants over again and people won't think it's weird (thinking of Simon Cowell). But if girls are caught doing this, they could be labeled as cheap, laughed at, pointed out, etc.
Anyways, I notice that when guys stare at girls, it's ok and people don't think it's a bad thing. I think they even call it a "sport" where guys go check out girls on a beach, lawn, or somewhere. But when girls do the staring, it's somehow creepy and weird. They can be branded as lesbian.
It's not fair. There are some advantages inherent to one gender over the other. Guys can wear the same shirts and pants over again and people won't think it's weird (thinking of Simon Cowell). But if girls are caught doing this, they could be labeled as cheap, laughed at, pointed out, etc.
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Trishanku
Well-known member
A similar experience was the worst experience ever in my life. I was out with my schoolmates, we were at a restaurant after attending a wedding. so we enter and i am already anxious and wondering where we will be sitting. we were 6 of us and we got a table and there were three people a girl and two boys sitting in a table to our side. I got to sit diagonally opposite this girl who was sitting with a boy to her side and another opposite her and i started to freak out. my friends noticed i was silent which i was not just before we entered the restaurant. The girl and her friends changed seats.
I felt the most terrible ever. i even felt like going over apologising thankfully i didnt. After than incident my friends noticed something wasnt right they asked me if i wasnt feeling well. ever since I've avoided meeting them because i feel kind of strange about myself.
Trishanku
Well-known member
I haven't been to a movie like in 3 years. at first I couldn't handle my periphiral vision like my friends sitting beside me. I used to slouch into the seat very uncomfortable and make my eyes really tiny it actually blurred my vision. then i became uncomfortable with everyone around me. when someone asks me to a movie these days, which is rare. I say find myself giving some lame excuse and my friends think I dont like them.
Trishanku
Well-known member
hahaha I imagined myself in this scenario, LOL.
FallenAcorn
Member
People say "don't look!" and people look anyways is a pretty common thing everywhere.(not just with SA people!) I think this is the main thing that's happening in this OCD. The more you struggle to try to run away or hide, the worse it gets. Just like one of the scenes of Harry Potter with the 3 headed dogs they were trying to run from, Ron was trapped in vines(?) and the more he moved and struggled, the more the vines surrounded him.
Instead of thinking "don't look. don't look." remind yourself that it is okay to stare. (I know, it's weird) It's not the end of the world if you do. Just let your body do it and you'll feel a calmer with practice. and no negative thoughts! it'll just bring you down. Think positive things (even if you disagree) and you will be positive and feel good about yourself.
FallenAcorn
Member
Also, I've seen a lot of negative thoughts on this thread. "Life is hell. My life is ruin. Life is never going to get better. No one likes me" It's okay to express them at first, but afterwards, you got to change that. Social anxiety happens because of negative thoughts. First identify the negativity you are saying and reverse those statements. Just like I said before, think positive things even if you disagree at first.
It looks like extraverted celebs like Shia do this too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd2TpFkAkKE
Except they don't seem nervous at all. In fact they just continue doing it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd2TpFkAkKE
Except they don't seem nervous at all. In fact they just continue doing it.
Do loud noises make you guys paranoid? like when someone turn on their car outside your home...
I usually have to cover my ears because i fear people will notice me listening.
This happen after my next door neighbor was moving out. i was sitting next to the window of my room using the computer. Every time he walked by my window i would get distracted by the loud scrapping sound his sandals made against the floor, instead of paying attention to what i was doing in my computer.
This made me very uncomfortable to the point wear i had to cover my ears with my hands because felt like if i didn't he would notice me paying attention.
I tried to not close my ears when his wife was walking by my window because she doesn't make any loud noises when she walks but for some reason still paid attention to her. That's When she coughed while she was passing by my window. This made me VERY uncomfortable because i thought she knew i was listening.
Ever since then i close my ear when i hear loud noises outside my apartment (Cars warming up in the parking lot, neighbors bumping loud music, people talking, and more) because i fear they will know I'm listening.
Anyone else have this problem or anything similar?
I usually have to cover my ears because i fear people will notice me listening.
This happen after my next door neighbor was moving out. i was sitting next to the window of my room using the computer. Every time he walked by my window i would get distracted by the loud scrapping sound his sandals made against the floor, instead of paying attention to what i was doing in my computer.
This made me very uncomfortable to the point wear i had to cover my ears with my hands because felt like if i didn't he would notice me paying attention.
I tried to not close my ears when his wife was walking by my window because she doesn't make any loud noises when she walks but for some reason still paid attention to her. That's When she coughed while she was passing by my window. This made me VERY uncomfortable because i thought she knew i was listening.
Ever since then i close my ear when i hear loud noises outside my apartment (Cars warming up in the parking lot, neighbors bumping loud music, people talking, and more) because i fear they will know I'm listening.
Anyone else have this problem or anything similar?
Trishanku
Well-known member
Trishanku
Well-known member
This made me very uncomfortable to the point wear i had to cover my ears with my hands because felt like if i didn't he would notice me paying attention.
I Do. for a long time now. I searched the net and i found something like hyperacusis. But I think this is OCD. Our house is in close proximity with our neighbours and especially the one by our left and the house behind us have been sucking up my attention a lot. This has been going on with me for about 2 years now. I was so scared that Ithought they might call cops on me. I've been using earphones and music to cancel out those noises. works for now but I dont wana completely defean myself, I also like to play music on speakers just so that I can focus my attention on something else or TV something to be occupied with.
Yes I have this problem too. I used to live in apartments. I don't have a problem with car noises, but definitely with footsteps and talking noises. Whenever neighbors walk by my window, I tense up and my senses become very alert. I stop whatever I was doing until the neighbors walk away, then I resume. I also have this fear that the neighbors notice me noticing and think I'm spying or eavesdropping on them. Sometimes my lights are on even on Friday and Saturday nights so my neighbors probably think I have no life and stay at home a lot. So I would turn my ceiling light off and use a lamp instead while studying or doing stuff on the computer.
I'm also sensitive to bathroom and toilet flushing noises. It's awkward when I'm in the bathroom and the neighbor upstairs (or downstairs) is also in the bathroom at the same time. I sometimes wait for the other person to finish and just go, but usually when I hear somebody in the bathroom I get out fast and wait for them to come out.
I think it a combination of OCD, ADHD, PTSD, and probably more. I havn't tried using ear phones, don't know why i haven't thought of that by now. I have they same problem with my downstair neighbors, except i usually think they will knock on my door or bang the wall to stop me from paying attention to them.
I'm thinking of trying ADHD medication and maybe OCD medication when i get the chance. tried Zoloft but that didn't do anything but calm my day to day tempers of normal things everyone goes through.
Trishanku
Well-known member
Do you ever or have you ever interacted or spoken to your neigbours before or on ocassion. the problem with me is our family is a strange bunch. my mom speaks with the neighbour lady. but neither do i or anyone else. they are friendly people and they are from other state here in India so different language and culture. she used to share special gujrati foods and my mom shares soem of our local cuisines. But the problem is me I never talk to new people. I am not even able to look at them or smile at them even if suddenly i were to look at them. I am kind of like, no emotions. This makes it worse for me.
The neighbours to our left are in our neighbourhood long before we came here. there is this old man i used to speak to and shared greetings now and then. But one day it happened that I ignored him out because I had nothing to say to him, I was not even feeling like greeting anyone and from that day onwards I've been ignoring him and unable to even face him. I try to see if he is not at his porch when i have to go out, I try to look away. I really dont know how to break the Ice again with him. I really dont know what he might think about me?
My therapist prescribed me haloperidol and sertraline first. but, then i started having irritable bowels. then he put me on dusolepin and then fluoxtine. these days Im not taking any meds instead Im relying on Yoga asanas. stretches combined with regulated breathing. I must say, I feel a bit relaxed even though I still have these problems. I feel ok.
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When my neighbors are outside and i think they know i'm listening to them. I would have to turn on the t.v. or due something to keep myself busy. or i fear someone will cough or do something to stop me from paying attention to them. I have the same problem too with lights inside my house except i turn them off because i don't want my shadow to show on the window or somewhere on the wall they can't see from outside.
I don't like to use the bathroom too when my downstair neighbors are using it because i think they can hear each foot step i make, so I would have to slowy sneak inside like i'm sneaking into someones bathroom to steal something
When exiting i leave the door a little open so they won't hear it open when i come back in, or i'll shut it real quietly.