Can't Seem To Stop Saying Stupid Things!!

[theoutsider]

My SA causes me to be an introvert but I also feel uncomfortable when I am around a few people and there's awkward silence. I always feel like I should say something. Most of the time I don't but when I do force myself to say something, it usually winds up being stupid just because I was desperate to come up with something to say. Like me and a co-worker were standing at the window looking at construction of a building that's going up beside ours. Neither of us were speaking and it was getting kind of uncomfortable so I thought I had to say something. I wound up blurting out something about how it looks like the walls are going to be made of concrete. Turns out they were just building the outside of the building so of course they were using concrete. They were no where near putting the walls in yet. mg: I knew this and right after I said it, I realized how dumb it was. To make it worse, my co-worker shook her head and laughed.

I'm always, always saying things like that because I can't take the awkward silence! Sometimes I feel like I haven't spoken to my manager for days so I will think of a question to ask her just to let her know I'm not ignoring her. Then the question will turn out to be so stupid. I feel like I am probably known as the guy who constantly asks/says stupid things at work. Today was just awful. I must have said stupid things on three different occasions. :kickingmyself: I guess the awkward silence is better than blurting out nonsensical statements. I'm done with it.

Anybody ever gone through or is going through this?

 

[nicole1]

Me. I say stupid things before I realize I'm saying them. And this is all the time.

 

[scattereddays]

Actually... Saying stupid things is better than saying nothing at all. I mean, at least they just laugh at you for being silly rather than hating you.

Back when I had a job I just kept silent around coworkers and didn't say anything. I got known for being antisocial and unfriendly. Wasn't a great impression haha.. I ended up quitting that job. Yeah.

 

[MikeyC]

I always feel like I should say something. Most of the time I don't but when I do force myself to say something, it usually winds up being stupid just because I was desperate to come up with something to say.

I can relate to this. I guess in your case, the silence doesn't have to be awkward. They're not talking, either, so maybe they're comfortable with you that way.

 

[mariospap]

I face this problem too. I don't know if I am cursed or not, but if I am lucky to join a nice conversation or have friendships, these awkward moments are there all the time. And I always think, "This silence again...it's happening again and again"
Scattereddays said that ", at least they just laugh at you for being silly rather than hating you. "
I don't gree. The things I say are so stupid, that are not making anyone laughing, but wondering about my intelligence levels. These are moments I wish that earth would open and eat me.

 

[theoutsider]

I face this problem too. I don't know if I am cursed or not, but if I am lucky to join a nice conversation or have friendships, these awkward moments are there all the time. And I always think, "This silence again...it's happening again and again"
Scattereddays said that ", at least they just laugh at you for being silly rather than hating you. "
I don't gree. The things I say are so stupid, that are not making anyone laughing, but wondering about my intelligence levels. These are moments I wish that earth would open and eat me.

Although I can certainly see Scattereddays' point, this is usually the impression I leave and the way I end up feeling. It always brings to mind the saying: It's better to have people think you may be a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. It's not that I, myself, think I'm a fool but when I say something stupid because I felt uncomfortable I think everybody believes I'm just some foolish, not too bright person.

 

[theoutsider]

Me. I say stupid things before I realize I'm saying them. And this is all the time.

Funny thing happened to me when I was signing up for membership at my gym. The name of the gym is 24 Hour Fitness. After the manager was finished telling me all the details about the membership, he asked if I had any questions. For some reason I felt I should have at least one question so I blurted out: What are your hours? :kickingmyself: I knew even before I was finished asking what a dumb question that was and immediately kind of rolled my eyes and said, nevermind. We both laughed it off so it really wasn't so bad that time.

 

[jaim38]

I do this too and come off looking like a stupid kid. For example many years ago when I was pre-nursing, I went to a place to get my required shots. I knew that nursing is a very social profession so I try to act like I'm a people lover. While a nurse did my shots and stuff, I conversed with her trying to sound sweet and asking all sorts of crazy questions to avoid awkward silences. I sounded so immature she laughed and called me crazy. I also heard some people nearby laugh. After I was done with everything, I came out feeling horrible. Lesson learned: stop trying to act like somebody you're not and just be yourself. My real personality is kind of quiet and doesn't talk much unless I have something meaningful to say, so I was afraid of coming off as aloof and antisocial.

 

[Goblinko]

I once said stupid things in order to become a more extrovert person. In the end, I failed miserably and hurt someone's feelings. I guess this person doesn't wanna see me not even if I was painted in gold.

I make jaim38's words mine: don't try to be someone you aren't. Being introvert is not a "sin".
I'd suggest you to get Susan Cain's book, which "enlightened" me on this topic: "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking".

 

[just_a_person]

Yep. ALL the time. It frustrates me to tears, believe me. Many times I've said things that aren't understood. I also ask numerous stupid questions daily. I definitely know how you feel, and my social shortcomings make me feel really sad. Sorry that I don't have any advice, since I'm struggling through this as well, but I hope that some true empathy helps.

 

[ffeev223234]

stupid things roll off my tongue everyday

 

[ffeev223234]

do some of you have autism or what

 

[sahxox]

I think it's realising that you're not the only one responsible for the silence. I get like this too sometimes; it's like trying to cling onto the other person, saying anything, to let them know, as you said, that you're not ignoring them. If you're in a good place mentally, these thoughts do not dominate. You'll speak when you feel and don't seem to recieve rejection ever, because firstly you're not as sensitive, and secondly the words come out with meaning and you get respect for that. Social anxiety is truly horrible... it makes you feel helpless and weak. I've ditched it once before, I just have to get back up again and work out how the hell I did it

 

[EscapeArtist]

You can take this and make it a positive trait of your character. When you realize you said something stupid, correct yourself like "oh, it's just the foundation" and then chuckle. It's a natural thing humans do... I do this a lot too but if you acknowledge it and treat it like humour, you both get a chuckle, you look more interesting.

 

[theoutsider]

Yep. ALL the time. It frustrates me to tears, believe me. Many times I've said things that aren't understood. I also ask numerous stupid questions daily. I definitely know how you feel, and my social shortcomings make me feel really sad. Sorry that I don't have any advice, since I'm struggling through this as well, but I hope that some true empathy helps.

Empathy absolutely helps. Just knowing that there are others who understand gives me an immense lift.

 

[FelipeSantos]

My SA causes me to be an introvert but I also feel uncomfortable when I am around a few people and there's awkward silence. I always feel like I should say something. Most of the time I don't but when I do force myself to say something, it usually winds up being stupid just because I was desperate to come up with something to say. Like me and a co-worker were standing at the window looking at construction of a building that's going up beside ours. Neither of us were speaking and it was getting kind of uncomfortable so I thought I had to say something. I wound up blurting out something about how it looks like the walls are going to be made of concrete. Turns out they were just building the outside of the building so of course they were using concrete. They were no where near putting the walls in yet. mg: I knew this and right after I said it, I realized how dumb it was. To make it worse, my co-worker shook her head and laughed.

I'm always, always saying things like that because I can't take the awkward silence! Sometimes I feel like I haven't spoken to my manager for days so I will think of a question to ask her just to let her know I'm not ignoring her. Then the question will turn out to be so stupid. I feel like I am probably known as the guy who constantly asks/says stupid things at work. Today was just awful. I must have said stupid things on three different occasions. :kickingmyself: I guess the awkward silence is better than blurting out nonsensical statements. I'm done with it.

Anybody ever gone through or is going through this?

you are too hard to your self everybody says stupid things now and then what you said to your friend was'nt that stupid and was about something that has no importance, and when you fell that silence coming, stop thinking how are you looking if you are looking dumb or something, think about the other person maybe she is felling that she is bodering you and fell guilty , just say something like are you ok , what were you doing , what you gonna do now etc and when you see the person is talking again and a subject will appear.

 

[theoutsider]

you are too hard to your self everybody says stupid things now and then what you said to your friend was'nt that stupid and was about something that has no importance, and when you fell that silence coming, stop thinking how are you looking if you are looking dumb or something, think about the other person maybe she is felling that she is bodering you and fell guilty , just say something like are you ok , what were you doing , what you gonna do now etc and when you see the person is talking again and a subject will appear.

You are probably right about me being too hard on myself. I am definitely an overly sensitive person where interactions are concerned. I'm working on it but I still often find myself perceiving an innocent response as something damning and proof of the person's disapproval.

 

[Satori_lotus]

Yes, happens to me all the time. What has helped me get over feeling awkward though is just to completely relax my brain when I'm with people - I know it is difficult and sometimes I still struggle with it but it really has effected how I deal with social situations. I believed that the way out of this awkwardness was to think of a really great thing to say to impress others somehow but I found that when I STOPPED thinking so much and stopped feeling as though it were the end of the world/my presence wouldn't be acknowledged etc. if I didn't say anything, that my speech actually became a lot more coherent and more importantly, less stressed at myself.
I think that one person can't be feeling awkward, nervous and anxious to say something and be able to socialize properly in the first place, so the key is to relax yourself.
Hope that made sense

 

[hardy]

people say stupid things all the time...if i was ur co-worker, i would be more polite. I am sure there r times when u say super-intelligent things.

 

[jaim38]

I can relate. I have really bad word salad which means I mix up words and stuff.