Can anyone else like, not accept compliments

[R3X]

same here....people say i am cute,handsome,good looking,whatever but honestly,i dont think so...it's not that i'm ungrateful to God or anything but somehow,i find myself in the category of "ugly"....i TRY to believe that i am good looking but i just can't....maybe it's because i was fat/chubby from young so i guess now that i'm thin,people think i am good looking?? i dunno....i still think i'm not good looking enough,still below average...man,i just realised how weird i am...=.="

 

[Toto_]

Well, only people i know ever give me compliments (always the same ones too), and they don't count.

 

[Chriiss]

When someone gives me a compliment (which is rarely) I feel like there patronising me. Just saying it for the sake of it.

 

[thewiz]

Yea, verbal harassment can be more easily ignored but with anxiety it makes you avoid certain streets, certain buildings (even though you need to go inside), wear clothes you think are ugly, over think the way you walk and talk. The real damaging kind is the physical harassment though. You can't brush that off.

Anyway. Here's $5 of SPW currency ! What exactly do I get for that amount?

This is a new business and I'd like to test the waters here to see how to establish the prices. How much would you like to get?!

Also, what exactly are you getting anxiety about? Is it the attention people give you? Often times I hate attention. Actually, on the subject of avoiding certain streets and buildings... I do that too. Except I do so to avoid seeing people I know. It sucks. Sometimes I just fight it and go wherever I need to go -- the whole "i don't care" mentality.

 

[JosephG]

Yeah I find it hard to accept compliments - but probably for the same reason I find it hard to speak to people. Nothing comes to mind for me to respond with.
However I was told as a kid to say thanks and smile so I just do that. Apparently it shows confidence. But all I do is smile. That is my response to anything said to me.
I think if you get any compliments you should just say thanks and not think about whether it is legitimate or a sarcastic compliment. Thinking is bad mmmkay

 

[JamesSmith]

I used to be like that. When I was in Junior High, there were times where I was scared to look at myself in the mirror. The most negative talk about my appearance has always been my body size. I'm 5'11'' and 150 lbs, and quite skinny, so people have said I'm small and some people have called me a girl because for my height, I'm a good 20-30 lbs below average weight for an adult male. If someone gives me a compliment on my looks, I just give a smile and say thanks and look like I'm humbly surprised. Or it's a good idea to give the, "I am, hmm, I never noticed that." It's humble and humorous. If you tell them they are wrong when they compliment you, you are risking hurting their feelings which may not be a good idea.

 

[alejandro84]

i dont actually get any compliments so i cant even imagine what it feels like to be complimented lol

 

[thewiz]

i dont actually get any compliments so i cant even imagine what it feels like to be complimented lol

I don't know you but I'm sure you're an amazing person!

 

[Phoenixx]

I can sometimes take compliments, but sometimes not. I guess it depends on the compliment... or the day... or both? I don't know, but sometimes with compliments, I don't accept them because I feel like they're fake. I feel like they're only saying it to make me feel better and don't really mean it at all. I sometimes feel like I don't deserve those compliments because really I'm just a loser, or something along those lines.

Yeah i got bullied for a few years, being called ugly etc.
Might be the reason why :/

^ Same here. I'm still bullied/teased. I've been called ugly, boring, stupid, fat, and pretty much any other insult you can think of. And every single word is still stuck in my head because I believe it must be true if a lot of people say it. :/

 

[JamesSmith]

It's tough to receive compliments for someone like me because of the fact that I'm hardly ever around people in real life.

 

[thewiz]

Oooo I'd like to get confidence about having big feet. I can't find shoes that fit *grumbles*

More importantly, I'd like to get confidence about relaxing and letting my real cheerful personality shine around nice people. I want to let my guard down because it's blocking me from experiencing the real world. I'd also like to order a dash of your "don't care" mentality for when I get rejected and stuffz. That would help a lot.

Does $5 cover all of this?

Good for you for managing to hold onto that mentality by the way. It's very hard to convince oneself.

I try to avoid people I know too. Even if they were friendly before. I'm afraid they just failed to notice I was awkward the first time and I don't want to give them another chance to figure it out. They will also notice I'm not as special as they thought before. Like a disappointment. Eh.

Just to note: It is not a totally irrational fear. When I try to be social it comes off really weird because it's hard for me. People get confused and never contact me again. Yup.

I might need to put out that $5 as well because I want all of that too. But maybe I'll rather buy lunch..

I thought/still think I'm incredibly awkward at times, but I'm slowly realizing that a majority of the people have that in the back of their heads. It's crazy but our thought process don't differ as much as we all think. Plus, a lot of the stuff we think people are thinking is just one way we perceive things. Just because we perceive things doesn't mean it's true (and usually it's not). A friend of mine gave me a neat trick when someone looks at me on the street: instead of getting paranoid about how you look, imagine they are looking at you because you're so damn sexy. You will never find out why they were really looking at you unless, of course, you ask them. But you can equally go on with your day either a) thinking something is wrong with you or b) you look good. Neither of which you know are true but depending on which mindset you choose will change your day. It's not easy but it's definitely worth practicing! Also, I realized that when we notice people looking at us, it's actually because we are looking at THEM. The only way we know they are looking at us is if by seeing it -- for all we know, they can be thinking the same thing!

EDIT: you can apply that technique to anything. If you think people are giving you looks because of your looks and you feel uncomfortable, simply tell yourself (perceive) that they are looking at you for another reason.

 

[los77]

I never really get complimented on how I look and when I do I feel like they might be saying it just to be nice or have something to say.

I use to care about how I look but now I really don't care. One of the reasons being that the perception of beauty differs from person to person, what one might think is ugly the other will find gorgeous. The other reason is that if a person is going to judge me because of my looks then i don'r really care what that person has to say or thinks about me.

 

[Reebootnow]

I have a hard time accepting complements also. I usually think in my head that people are just saying it or trying to make me feel better but didn't mean it. I always think way to much about every situation anyway. I'm working on it tho.

 

[SilentBird]

I have learnt to be gracious when people offer me compliments. I think it would be unfair to contradict them if they are being sincere which a lot of the time people are. And I do accept the way people perceive me differs from the way I perceive myself - they may see me in a good light where I may not.

 

[Scallywag]

I accept the compliment, but I dont necessarily believe it to be true. Its weird tho cos part of me wants to believe it but oddly, another part of me actually doesnt want to believe it. I know this is due to low self esteem but still its weird.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I tend to assume that when people compliment me on my looks or anything else... that they're just saying it for the sake of conversation.

So yeah... I get how you feel.
I don't think I'll ever look in the mirror and think; "damn! who'se that foxy lady?"
It'll just never happen because I'm no foxy lady. or at least-- I cannot see myself that way.

 

[theblank]

When I was younger (maybe around 20 or so) I could not accept a compliment. If someone complimented me I would always come back with some kind of disclaimer negating what they said. People don't like that. When someone wants to give you a compliment, they want to give you a compliment, so if you don't receive the compliment you're actually being kind of rude. And why be rude to someone who's trying to be nice to you? It doesn't make sense.

Since then I've learned to receive a compliment just by saying "thank you." That's good enough. The person who gave it to you will be happy you received what they were trying to give you and you might even feel a little bit better about yourself.