Can anyone else like, not accept compliments

[Liam17]

Just a thought i had tonight, i do get quite a lot of compliments from people here on my appearance etc. It's not that i don't believe people, but i still feel like i'm not.

This cause i'v got low self esteem, i don't think i will ever think i do 'look good'.

Can anyone else relate to this, or is it just me?

 

[Damaged]

I can't accept compliments or believe them tbh.

But thats cos of my ex always telling me bad things about my appearance/personality and because he done that so many times, i think that other people must see them too but there just lying to get something from me.

 

[Liam17]

I can't accept compliments or believe them tbh.

But thats cos of my ex always telling me bad things about my appearance/personality and because he done that so many times, i think that other people must see them too but there just lying to get something from me.

Yeah i got bullied for a few years, being called ugly etc.
Might be the reason why :/

Thats terrible btw, theres nothing wrong with your appearance, and you seem kind

 

[Psychedelicious]

Um Yeah No

I can't accept compliments, at all. Luckily, I guess? I don't get them very often. I just have a really hard time believing people when they say anything good about me. The worst is compliments on appearance, I can't take it seriously, because I don't see how it could possibly be true. I feel like I don't deserve them, and I have a hard time understanding why someone would compliment me. I still appreciate it, surely, it just makes me super uncomfortable.

 

[Liam17]

Re: Um Yeah No

I can't accept compliments, at all. Luckily, I guess? I don't get them very often. I just have a really hard time believing people when they say anything good about me. The worst is compliments on appearance, I can't take it seriously, because I don't so how it could possibly be true. I feel like I don't deserve them, and I have a hard time understanding why someone would compliment me. I still appreciate it, surely, it just makes me super uncomfortable.

Yeah same with me, i think how can someone like me :/ it's hard to believe. Although i don't feel uncomfortable. I appreciate it too.

 

[Damaged]

Yeah i got bullied for a few years, being called ugly etc.
Might be the reason why :/

Thats terrible btw, theres nothing wrong with your appearance, and you seem kind

It probably is tbh, i used to get bullied in school and my confidence went down and all i did was think negative of myself. Then i left school confidence grew i thought positive, then met my bf and he was a bully so therefore same thing happened.

People say not to take notice of nasty things bullies say, and not to care but tbh its hard not too because it'll affect you some how deep down.

 

[Liam17]

It probably is tbh, i used to get bullied in school and my confidence went down and all i did was think negative of myself. Then i left school confidence grew i thought positive, then met my bf and he was a bully so therefore same thing happened.

People say not to take notice of nasty things bullies say, and not to care but tbh its hard not too because it'll affect you some how deep down.

Yeah at school i had no confidence, my second year of college i'm more confident person, but still got self esteem issues.

Aye, cause there not the ones being called ugly etc. :/ I think why else say it, if its not true. Some people say they say it cause there jealous. What jealous of me? I got the social skills of an egg, and i wouldn't say i'm good looking.

 

[kihira]

I have to be careful because I usually look blankly at anyone giving me a compliment, my mind starts thinking of reasons why the compliment isn't true. If I remember to, I give a false smile and thank you in return.

 

[userremoved]

Yeah i got bullied for a few years, being called ugly etc.
Might be the reason why :/

Thats terrible btw, theres nothing wrong with your appearance, and you seem kind

Thats the same reason with me man, bullies from way back. Someone said it takes 100 compliments just to fix one negative remark. I'm a little better now but it took me like 10 years to get what little confidence I have. Just keep working on it, hopefully you'll find your way.

 

[StupidWiz]

If someone was told that they're so ugly over and over again, they would eventually believe it's true even if they aren't. And when others are trying to give them compliment they'll try to deny it because they've believed that they're ugly. This kind of bullying should be eradicated as it's causing to lower the victim's self esteem. It's cruel and dangerous.

 

[Liam17]

If someone was told that they're so ugly over and over again, they would eventually believe it's true even if they aren't. And when others are trying to give them compliment they'll try to deny it because they've believed that they're ugly. This kind of bullying should be eradicated as it's causing to lower the victim's self esteem. It's cruel and dangerous.

Well said, that's actually a good way of explaining why i'm so low on self esteem atm.

 

[StupidWiz]

And it's easier to believe the cruel words if the bully is someone you care and look up to like your mother/father for example ::

 

[Liam17]

And it's easier to believe the cruel words if the bully is someone you care and look up to like your mother/father for example ::

Sorry to hear man

 

[thewiz]

Compliments on my looks are weird to me because I feel like I don't own my looks or work for them. Maybe thank my parents' genetics? Looks are pure luck (and maybe some work in the gym in some cases).

It's like someone congratulating you on a getting a job position you didn't earn? Eg. through nepotism. Very uncomfortable to accept.

I don't understand how people are proud and arrogant over their looks. They just got lucky in God's genetic roulette. Those looks can be taken away in a second in an accident. As for bullies, it doesn't matter if 1000 random bullies find you ugly or attractive. Everyone will have a different opinion. The only opinions that should matter are the ones of the people you cherish the most.

Now, the compliments on the traits that make me a good person are what I go giddy over. Like my personality or work ethic. Those compliments make me glow for a WHOLE WEEK ^_^~

Does anyone else feel this difference?

There is a difference. It's like liking a person for who they are and not who they are on the outside. It means more. It's more genuine. Those are REAL compliments, no doubt.

However, if someone gives you a compliment for your physical appearances -- take it. run with it. say 'thank you'. blush. smile.

you may not think so but there may be people out there that COULD look beautiful but DON'T. They have, as you said "the traits" to look good but they don't present themselves for compliments. So obviously you're doing something. Take that compliment. Work it.

 

[thewiz]

Thanks for the advice. I try to say thanks and disappear. Quickly.

The problem is most of the comments I receive these days in public are rude, disgusting and sexually explicit. They make me feel like a prostitute even though I'm dressed normally. Don't make the mistake of thinking I'm good looking though. People just have their own ideas about what is good looking, whether they are right or wrong -_-'

My looks are getting in the way of people making effort to get to know me as a regular person. I just want to run and hide. I have gained weight to help. My looks are ruining my life.

There are thousands of girls out there who would do anything to be in your position. Be grateful. If looking beautiful is a bad thing -- sue me. cause I'm pretty damn beautiful (and loving it).

 

[thewiz]

I'm guessing you've never been harassed you because of your looks.

I always say I'd give up some of my looks for more brains and creativity. I believe that's what makes people remain friends with you.

Looks only get your foot into the door before you become forgotten again when the novelty wears off.

It's great you have tons of self confidence though!!! Can I rent some? ^_^~

I guess that's what comes with being a girl. Most girls will get hit on numerous times throughout the day... it's pretty sad, but it's true (especially if you live in an urban area). The girls I've talked about this with do find it disgusting but they live with it and learn to ignore it and not take it too serious. Welcome to manville where all men are horny for a beautiful lady. I'm guilty; except I keep it to myself until I get home (totally joking, sorta). Most times it will just be verbal harassment and hopefully it won't ever escalate to anything more.


And of course! But cash only

 

[EscapeArtist]

When i'm 15 pounds overweight, as I am now, I can never accept a compliment. Actually, when I'm 15 pounds overweight, people stop giving me compliments. Those 15 pounds really change my face a LOT....
So I would never be able to accept one if I did get one at this point
Although if it is directed to my personality, I can accept compliments... I'm just afraid to openly accept them
I have learned to appreciate some of my personality traits....

 

[Dr. Doom]

No, I'm bad at that. I don't think anything I do is very special but I still feel bad when people don't like it. It's weird. People say "oh, it looks like your face has cleared up." or "oh, have you been working out?" which I haven't done anything about to both my face and weight and I'm pretty sure the person saying it knows that. It sucks. I wish people just wouldn't say anything, you don't have to compliment to be nice to someone.

 

[DespairSoul]

Re: Um Yeah No

I can't accept compliments, at all. Luckily, I guess? I don't get them very often. I just have a really hard time believing people when they say anything good about me. The worst is compliments on appearance, I can't take it seriously, because I don't see how it could possibly be true. I feel like I don't deserve them, and I have a hard time understanding why someone would compliment me. I still appreciate it, surely, it just makes me super uncomfortable.

I couldnt say it better as u did. I cant believe people compliments about appearance. I dont get them too much often and if i do and they seems truly i think is riducolous like they make foolish of me or something. I just wondering why i long get some compliments if i dont believe it anyway Sigh** I think we have high standarts and this make us dont believe it. Because media push to us heads what is correct beauty what is real beauty and what isnt.


If people say nothing usually is mean they think opposite. I believe in that. Usually u dont comment because u dont want hurt someone.
Because no one want hear: OH, he or she is bad looking. If they have good heart they will not say it just nothing. But saying nothing offend me too because i have paranoic imagines if they dont say some positive things they think negative. People are envious they dont like to give compliments. We have everyone diffrent values. You will be always what u believe u are, if u will say im ugly u will be because u believe that. We create with us minds lies wich come true if we use to believe them.

 

[Mokkat]

Yeah I understand, Im the same.

Cant receive or give an honest compliment, way too paranoid for either