But I'm too.........

gummybear22

Well-known member
well i'm 22 tomorrow and super lIke a guy that's 36 :p
it's not extremely weird for relatively far apart folks to have a thing for eachother, even a mutual thing. i used to think i'd not wanna be with anyone over 9 years older than me, but that leaves the building when the guy is just awesome :D
 

SilentBird

Well-known member
I don't think there's anything wrong with being attracted to someone in their 20s if you are in your mid-late 30s. You could be compatible with someone younger if you feel young yourself. There's a lot of successful relationships with a 10-year or so age gap between men and women.
 

Lou-s-Darkness

Well-known member
I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of. You're 40, so what? I'm sure you'll find someone. There are plenty of young women who like older guys. I'm turning 20 in 3 weeks, and I've never really liked a guy my age. I was always attracted to more mature guys that were like at least 10 yrs older than I was, even in my early teens. Always thought I was crazy, but a friend of mine said that it was ok. Age doesn't matter. Don't worry about it.
 

cowboyup

Well-known member
Dude, I'm (oh jeez here it comes...) 43 :eek: and I've always been interested in people younger than me. Just the other day, I was at the park - took my niece and nephew there and I saw a guy practicing fire-spinning. I did the UNTHINKABLE ... I approached him - we talked, it was nice and he was super gorgeous :bigsmile: and he is in his 20s.

I am a kid at heart, like you. I even still go to the toy store to buy myself Legos. There's really nothing wrong with it (as long as it's legal, hehe) but also being in college setting puts you in that environment of younger people and it's ok to be attracted to someone younger than you.

And like you, though, I too, use the "but I'm too..." excuse way too much.

I think SA stunts our growth...in more ways than the obvious
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
What's the saying? "We get older, but the girls stay the same age." :bigsmile:

Nothing wrong with being attracted to younger people. I have been attracted to older ladies into their 40's before. Maybe she's not interested, but that doesn't mean the two of you can't have a conversation, right? Go into it like there's no thresholds or standards to reach - just a light conversation between two classmates. :)
 

SilentBird

Well-known member
F*! I'll just say my age. Ugh. I'm now 40. I don't know how it happened. Just yesterday I was 32 (so it seems). But, I went into a deep depression and lost more years. I think having SA, stunts you socially. Also, I'm kind of a kid at heart, a very young soul.

Now, everyone is calling me Sir............I wasted my youth.


This has to be the most shameful admission I've made on here. LOL. And that's saying a lot.

Yeah I hated turning 40. A year and a bit later it's not so bad. A person can still be young these days in their 40s. A lot of older bands are still rocking and athletes are still excelling. You are going to college and still learning, that's great. The good thing about age is maturity, I have learnt to be more kind.

I can appreciate that it can be a struggle socially with age but I have learnt that relationships can be deeper and more meaningful.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
F*! I'll just say my age. Ugh. I'm now 40. I don't know how it happened. Just yesterday I was 32 (so it seems). But, I went into a deep depression and lost more years. I think having SA, stunts you socially. Also, I'm kind of a kid at heart, a very young soul.

Now, everyone is calling me Sir............I wasted my youth.


This has to be the most shameful admission I've made on here. LOL. And that's saying a lot.
Life begins at 40. :)
 

xDreamseller

Well-known member
We're all space travelers, your age is just a recording of how many times you've flown around the sun. :bigsmile:

A 20 year gap is indeed quite large, making a long term relationship quite difficult, although not impossible. If you're both attracted to each other, a shorter term relationship is very possible, which might lead to a long term one. Like others said, just have a chat with her, there's nothing weird about it.

I feel the same about SA stunting you socially. I'm 20 now but don't feel like I've changed since I was about 14. I don't have anything in common with anyone who lives here, I feel like an immigrant in my own country.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I haven't been interested in anyone since I was 38.

And now I am 50, it is kind of a relief that those awful feelings of unrequited attraction have gone from my life. That they're not interested in me, and I am not romantically interested in them.

I'm still attracted to women and have admiration for them, but not in a romantic way. If anyone showed a romantic interest, I think it would make me feel awkward. So it is with relief that hasn't happened.
 

gazelle

Well-known member
Sh*t! This thread kind of struck a nerve with me too!! I can definitely relate to your feeling . I would get less approached by guys when I was younger due to the severe awkward vibes that I would emit around them, now that I'm older and more at ease I do get approached more but I always have to remind myself that I'm older and that if they figure my age they'll run away! Something like that actually happened to me in my last job. A 4 years younger guy who thought I was younger then him approached me. I thought he knew my age and it was all platonic until he told me once that we should hang out with his friends sometime after work. I told him I'd think about it and asked his friends age and consequently my age was brought up in the conversation... all of the sudden he was shocked and said he could never believe that I was that age and from that day no more e-mails came from him (he'd deleted me from his mailing list) and his behavior completely changed and became formal! Good thing that I thought it was all platonic from the beginning! I find this getting old concept to be even worse for women (at least where I live ).
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
A 4 years younger guy who thought I was younger then him approached me. I thought he knew my age and it was all platonic until he told me once that we should hang out with his friends sometime after work. I told him I'd think about it and asked his friends age and consequently my age was brought up in the conversation... all of the sudden he was shocked and said he could never believe that I was that age and from that day no more e-mails came from him (he'd deleted me from his mailing list) and his behavior completely changed and became formal! Good thing that I thought it was all platonic from the beginning! I find this getting old concept to be even worse for women (at least where I live ).
Being four years older is nothing. I think that guy overreacted something severe.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Unfortunately where I live, it's less common for guys to get in relationships with older women...
But four years is barely anything. What if you were 6 months older? Is that still considered abnormal?

I wanted to date a woman 6 years older than me, but that never happened, haha. I think it's normal.
 

gazelle

Well-known member
But four years is barely anything. What if you were 6 months older? Is that still considered abnormal?

I wanted to date a woman 6 years older than me, but that never happened, haha. I think it's normal.

Well, 6 months to one year is tolerable here, 2 years a bit unusual but eventually can be accepted... but if anything more there's gonna be people feeling sorry for the guy and making you feel like crap. I think people are more judgmental here... I'm gonna get out of this country again!... someday!
 
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