Break Through!!!!! I can't believe it.

Evesmoon

Member
OMG!!! After 8 years of not leaving my apt except for absolute necessities ,like doctor appt, a breakthrough. I did it, I went to a social function and I survived it,lol. I suppose that sounds funny" I survived it." but I know you all understand that anxiety makes you feel as if You won't sometimes. I never thought I would be able to do it. I started two medications and it wasn't until I started the second one that I got the breakthrough. I can't believe it actually, I had fun. I haven't smiled or had fun in so long I thought I had forgotten how to. Thanks so much for being here folks, it is so nice to be able to share with people who understand how it feels. this is the first time in my life that I actually became comfortable around people after awhile. At first it was major uncomfortable and I thought of jumping up and leaving but I stuck it out. I have to give credit to this new medication I started, I felt the difference right away. I finally found a good doctor who was up on things. TY, Again folks. Eves P.S. If anyone is interested in knowing what the medication is, I'll be glad to share. I posted this in my old thread and started a new one, because I still can't believe it myself.
 

Evesmoon

Member
I am sorry, the medication is cymbalta and abilify together for SAD. I had a set back though. I have more then one problem. It wasn't the meds that caused the set back and actually this is a good thing, I am remembering things that caused my problem and even though its hell I am facing them. the medication is great, I can face people again, I just have to get through the remembering and process it. I am having a conscious and controlled breakdown I think, meaning my mind is allowing me to remember things and its bad , but I will be ok. Peace ,People
 
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Evesmoon

Member
I had a setback after wards. I was kind of high after actually doing it and people talking with me etc. in a friendly way. But nightmares, bad ones and severe anxiety kicked up as a result afterwards. I had a severe childhood trauma and I didn't remember some of it. I do now. It came back full force, I was crying and shaking and almost lost it. I don't want to go to the hospital, my daughter is coming for a visit Sunday and I haven't seen her in a long time. I am hoping the worst is over, its the fourth time I have come awake with severe nightmares of past events. I also suffer from PTSD and this really kicked it up.
However I don't plan to give up, just go really slow and face my fears. If I end up in the hospital ,well, then I will come out and do it again, I don't plan on giving up.
 

Darryl

Well-known member
I see your set back as progress...

For some time you were controlled by the disorder, tonight YOU were in charge of your life and had a great time

The set back was the disorder got jealous and by upsetting you it's able to regain control.

So continue to upset the disorder by doing what you want to do.
 

LadyWench

Well-known member
That's awesome! Congratulations! Breakthroughs are usually pretty random and show up when you least expect them. It's always a pleasant surprise when it happens. I'm glad you were able to go out and be social and you enjoyed it. :)
 

Evesmoon

Member
:)
Well, checking in with anyone who might be reading. Doing great, though the nightmares are not fun, they are easing up and I am feeling wonderful. I actually am socializing a little. Though I am taking it very slow which, I think is a good thing, I am doing it. It is not nearly as uncomfortable as it was. I did not know that cymbalta is specifically for social anxiety as well as other things. Visiting with my daughter and son-in-law and grandson and I can actually stand have people around me. Before more then one in my apt and I was so uncomfortable they usually left. Except for my husband when I was married of course, which is different. It is usually more about public interactions. Structuring my contact with people is helpful to, this way the attention is not on me. Like a book discussion. Which is what I did. Ity ids so much easier then just unstructured socializing and I know what to expect.
 
I always do mention this that first prepare your self for the change when you have thought that and have firm decision that you have to bring change in your self then trust me it will be no more with you.So carry on .
 
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