beyond depressed

[indigo91]

I just moved back near my boyfriend and 2 kids.They live with him,as I cant handle parenting. I have ocd,social phobia,anxiety attacks,,,,,besides the depression. Anyhow,his house is realy gross,,,,,,,seriously its gonna take me months to get it clean. And he is gonna have to clean up the poop on the bathroom walls, and carpet in the back bedroom.Ive been complaining about it for 2 months now.I have my own place and go over there and clean and see the kids a couple hours a day. For as long as I can stand it. I dont even have my place all unpacked yet, The worst thing Ive found is that hes spanking them with a belt/fly swatter................a spanking on the rear is one thing......but he is hitting them anywhere......legs ,arms, thigh. And Ive seen welts twice now,on my daughter. I talked to him each time about it. I even got between him and her once because he wouldnt quit hitting her. Hes older than me and was raised that way Im guessing....To me that doesnt make it ok........My daughter told me I need to get a new man one that doesnt hurt them"(shes 7) on the phone the other night. I wish I could just pack them up and move back near my family(who wouldnt be a help) But I cant handle that. I dont know what to do....to fix any of this besides clean,and clean and clean on his house. Its realy hard to do when I dont even want to get up! I do have another shrink apt,and after that she can refer me to get on meds.........but thats down the road and doeasnt help the kids. Im going nuts stressing out about them and the whole situation.

 

[philly2bits]

You need to get the kids out of that house. Cleaning it won't help any. It's pretty obvious he doesn't care about them and is abusing them. Is he the father?

 

[Luke1993]

What do your kids do to cause your boyfriend to hit them with a belt? That seems very over the top.

 

[Waybuloo]

Hitting a 7 year old girl with a belt is just sick. If it is leaving welts I am surprised you haven't put him onto social services yet, that is child abuse. Is your daughter a hellraiser? I am assuming not because you haven't mentioned that was the case. No excuse. What exactly is drawing you back to him?

 

[Ignace]

Omg, how can you let that happen ? Go away there, keep your kids away from him.

 

[dottie]

get your kids away from this guy. get yourself away from this guy. cleaning his house will not change anything. save your kids. they do not deserve to live in that physical and emotional filth.

 

[lunarla]

As everyone else has advised, you need to remove your children from that environment. Immediately would be best! You can talk to a social worker or someone similar to get your kids in a suitable home. In the meanwhile, I think it would be best if they were to stay with you. I don't know the full situation, but I think it would be better than what they're being subjected to now. No child deserves that ever.

Although you're obviously going through a lot right now on your own, would you ever be able to forgive yourself if something serious happened to your children? Not to mention, if this continues in their lives, emotional strain on themmmmm is inevitable.

 

[indigo91]

Yes,he is they're dad. I have a yr lease here in a tiney 1 bedroom,I m not sure what to do about.I dont want to be in the same town with him If I take them. I cant handle raising them on my own. But a friend of mine said she and her husband would help me. They live a few hours away in nebraska. I know he does love them in his own way.And that he would try too take them back,legally or otherwise. I left with them both before. We both share custidy as far as I know.But they have lived with him for the last few years. He gets extra money for them every month from his ssd? I know I cant leave them where they are,But Im realy scared too. I dont have any of there cloths,but I could sneak some home with me when I do theyre laundry,would take care of that. I guess I feel sorry for him.Hes older than me and not in great health himself....But thats no excuse for treating them like that. If I talk to srs will they help me? or will they put the kids somewhere else ist?