Are you picky?

Invisibleman

Invisibleman

Well-known member
Im honestly not sure if im picky because quite frankly I just dont know what I really want:confused: I mean it sounds stupid but honestly I have known zero girls in my life apart from my mom and sister. Ive never known any girls so I dont really know what girls are like,I dont know what there is to offer really. Its like trying to decide what you want at a buffet before youve even gone up to look. <terrible analogy but you know.
 
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pop-princess

Well-known member
this_portrait said:
It's just frustrating because what I prefer is hard to come by. This may sound superficial, but I don't like the thought of dating outside my type. I think it's just a waste of time. I see no point in leading some poor dude on when I'm not attracted to him either physically or personality-wise. I think I'd rather be a cat lady than be with some guy I'm only with because I can't find anyone else and I didn't want to be "mean" and turn him down when he asked me out.

Anyway, that's all I have to say. I don't know if anyone else here can relate, but I just kinda wanted to vent a bit.
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Well, honestly I can totally relate to all this you wrote. I also find it hard to be open and try different types of guys to date. And when i'm talking about 'type' I mean culture, interests, opinions. I see myself as belonging to one 'group' and I want the guys that I date belonging to the same 'group'.

I wish I could be more like some of my friends who just meet someone for example in a club find him cute and then they are dating. I need to have loads of information of the person before I go out on a date with him. I'm always thinking 'what if he wears Ed Hardy clothes?' 'what if he has ****ty music taste' 'what if he has stupid political views?' So yeah i'm always turning dates down and also i'm scared of dates because i'm so extremely self-centered.
 
razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
I do have a specific type. Yet, I can be flexible. I wouldn't call myself picky.

A guy can become more or less attractive depending on his personality.

When considering a potential date, I try to imagine myself kissing him. If I can't imagine kissing him then I won't date him. That is like my litmus test.

My boyfriend is my type. Whenever I see a guy that reminds me of him I am instantly attracted to him. That tends to happen with whatever guy I happen to be dating...that guy will become my type.

There just has to be rapport...chemistry, which is hard to break down and describe. We have to mesh.

There are some guys I would never date no matter what. Wearing socks with sandals is a deal breaker ::p: And he can't be a smoker either. Though I can be flexible with the smoking, but not the socks and sandals.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
When I was younger I think my radar was way off. I picked all the wrong girls for the wrong reasons.

Now that I am not looking my life is less stressful.
 
Tiercel

Tiercel

Well-known member
I really only have one expectation that must be lived up to: she must not be interested in me. If she doesn't know that I exist, even better.

At least that seems to have been my criteria for women so far. ;)

Since I rarely seem to get past the "looking" stage, I guess there must be something about her that I find appealing. But once I find that something, I tend to not talk to her at all.

Maybe I should add deaf and mute to my list?
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
I used to be a little picky, but I'd rather date a great personality and a normal looking person than a stunning hot date and the person is a total prick.

So, I would say, personality wise I am. The person needs to be compassionate, understanding, I like intelligence a clever thinking wise person, I like someone with ambition, someone who is willing to support me in the good and bad times and i like romance types, humouristic traints and serious also.

And if it comes to looks... well in the past I only looked at the most attractive ones, wanted to date the most stunning person at school for example, but that is just stupid. I was a little school kid back then, i realised there is so much more than that. I do find it important to be attracted to someone, and oh yes I am to my lovely girlfriend, she's beautiful in my eyes! I know some people would judge us for being a little different than other girls, because we're both a lil guyish if it comes to clothing, but we're still girls, but we just like to be cool, so what? Respect.

I was looking to the most feminine girls yep I did in the past, but I'm happy I found a girl who knows how I feel, it's even special i would say.

I still blame myself for being like that.... But I guess a lot of people used to be like this, because it's society, the way it runs, people make you in that position and it's just all blown up

The world is so obsessed about looks sometimes... :p I think everybody deserves love, whatever they look like.... The soul within is the spirit of love, who is giving you what matters to the heart.

And NOBODY is UGLY. i told myself this, to stop myself saying this to myself as well.. even the most ugly person in the world can be the most beautiful person. Oh and not to forget, personality makes people beautiful too.....

I know everybody has a type, but if you're still looking for the prettiest man on earth, you will see it's not the most important thing. :p

A fat dude with a mustach and a big bald head, can be the most sensetive guy and wanting to be your best friend. Just think about this.. Would you be his friend? ^^
 
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dzerklis

dzerklis

Well-known member
to all who are saying that they are picky - wait a few years or more and maybe your standards will drop significantly. that's what happened with me - i'm soon 29 and i often find such women hot that i never woulda liked 5 or more years ago, sometimes even fatties xD but i only 'date' certain type of women that date only for money tho due to this phobia.
 
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Etbow23

Well-known member
I'm not sure because I've been in the same relationship for a couple of years lol & haven't been looking for anyone new to date. But that set aside, I think I have become picky in the past couple years. Not so much physically, but especially personality-wise. I'd say I definitely have a physical type that resembles my partner I'd say.
I think it's good to be picky! But don't limit yourself, sometimes there's a gem who you don't see at first glance..
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
dzerklis said:
to all who are saying that they are picky - wait a few years or more and maybe your standards will drop significantly. that's what happened with me - i'm soon 29 and i often find such women hot that i never woulda liked 5 or more years ago, sometimes even fatties xD but i only 'date' certain type of women that date only for money tho due to this phobia.
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Hmm, perhaps. My mate is 29 now and he's still quite picky about the women he dates (has sex with). Another mate is 32 and his tastes are so broad he'll go for anyone. I think it varies from person to person.
 
Aletheia

Aletheia

Well-known member
Saskia said:
I used to be a little picky, but I'd rather date a great personality and a normal looking person than a stunning hot date and the person is a total prick.
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I can appreciate someone's looks, but I find I'll only start to fancy them once I've seen the personality behind the face.

(This is probably part of why I find bar hookups so alien; I've met all but one of my boyfriends in non-dating situations where the attraction had time to grow.)
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
Aletheia said:
I'm extremely picky, but I wouldn't say I have a type. There are a wide assortment of factors that can add up to a 'yes'.

I may not know what I want but I know it when I see it.
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exactly

i'm not attracted to EVERY woman, and i'm only interested in dating women whom i'm attracted to

but there is not a definitive set of attributes that makes someone attractive

perhaps that's a result of maturity

it's like our Christmas wish list:

when we're eight, we have a whole list of very specific things we want Santa to bring us, and we're heartbroken on Christmas morning to find that the action figure we got isn't the G.I.Joe with the Kung-Fu Grip that we circled in the toy catalog, but some cheap dime-store knock-off that our well-meaning parents thought was just as good

when we're 48, we're happy that someone gave us a pair of socks
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
coyote said:
exactly

it's like our Christmas wish list:

when we're eight, we have a whole list of very specific things we want Santa to bring us, and we're heartbroken on Christmas morning to find that the action figure we got isn't the G.I.Joe with the Kung-Fu Grip that we circled in the toy catalog, but some cheap dime-store knock-off that our well-meaning parents thought was just as good

when we're 48, we're happy that someone gave us a pair of socks
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Hahaha amazing ;D
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
The chances of me finding a kindred runner who can run a half marathon in under 90 minutes are kind of limited.
 
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Illusions

Well-known member
razzle dazzle rose said:
When considering a potential date, I try to imagine myself kissing him. If I can't imagine kissing him then I won't date him. That is like my litmus test.
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This works for me! I'd say it's accurate, since usually when I can't imagine kissing someone, he turns out to not be my type. I can sense these things I think, my feminine intuition is accurate, haha.

I guess I am picky. I do have a 'type', but I can be flexible. However no matter what there has to be chemistry between us - this is the most important!

I don't think being picky is necessarily a bad thing. When you only get romantically involved with people you can connect with, you won't waste time dating people you wouldn't ever develop feelings for/who are just so wrong for you (which I've regrettably done). :)
 
Sora

Sora

Well-known member
I don't think so, so long as personality is awesome then I am usually happy, I get addicted to who they are more than anything.

If I did get to choose it would be someone with dark hair (black, brunette) and bright eyes such as blue or green. I am a sucker for this, it does things for me LOL. More than anything, even more than Breasts and what not. If they don't have a good face area then it doesn't really do it for me.

If they have that and a great personality there is a high chance I will love them lol.

At the end of the day though I just want someone who is nice, and I can share my life with. Ok too soppy for the day I am going to watch some football now (not really I hate it!)
 
kilojoule

kilojoule

1
to·ma·to said:
Why is it, seemingly always, "a guy that makes me laugh".
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I need to laugh, it's how I cope with stuff, when I am in the worst situation possible, I get the giggles. I will find something that is hilarious and focus on that. It's not just that he can make me laugh, he needs to be able to laugh. It's not jut guys though, all the friends who I surround myself with are really funny people...although sometimes unintentionally :rolleyes:. Humor makes bad things managable. I don't know why other people say it, that's just my reasoning.
 
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