FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
It’s a weird thing about attractive people, I’m actually more at ease around them because my low self esteem tells me there’s no comparison. It’s like we’re not peers, so there’s not as much pressure.
Are you intimidated by the opposite gender?
- Thread starter NightTimeForever
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SomeUsernamesAreJustSilly
Member
To be completely honest, just forcing myself to be in those situations where I used to feel really awkward has helped me. I used to really freak out about asking girls out. At first, I couldn't even get myself to approach them and ask. Then I was able to approach them and I studdered and said stupid things and my face got all red (and that hasn't really changed all that much) but some girls think its kind of cute and little by little it gets easier and easier.
Believe me. If you go and put your neck on the line and do it over and over it will become easier and easier. I forget the term for it in psychology but you have probably seen it on tv. Like if someone is afraid of spiders or something the psychologist makes them do something like put their hand in a jar full of spiders and hold it their untill they don't feel as nervous. It really is just common sense though. It has helped me a lot and you don't need someone to help you.
Girls, if handsome guys intimidate you the next time you see a handsome guy go and force yourself to ask him something. It can be anything. Ask him about himself. Same goes for guys that are intimidated by pretty girls.
There are a lot of people in the world and if they are a stranger you will most likely never see them again. You really have nothing to lose except for your fear.
Believe me. If you go and put your neck on the line and do it over and over it will become easier and easier. I forget the term for it in psychology but you have probably seen it on tv. Like if someone is afraid of spiders or something the psychologist makes them do something like put their hand in a jar full of spiders and hold it their untill they don't feel as nervous. It really is just common sense though. It has helped me a lot and you don't need someone to help you.
Girls, if handsome guys intimidate you the next time you see a handsome guy go and force yourself to ask him something. It can be anything. Ask him about himself. Same goes for guys that are intimidated by pretty girls.
There are a lot of people in the world and if they are a stranger you will most likely never see them again. You really have nothing to lose except for your fear.
decadeOfSA
Well-known member
Not really. I'm actually less anxious around hot women for some reason...
But a lot of people in general of either sex in any performance situation is anxiety provoking.
But a lot of people in general of either sex in any performance situation is anxiety provoking.
caringsoul
Banned
I used to have severe guy-phobia.. it was so bad, that people thought i was a lesbian.. i only had to explain to one person that i wasnt, she just wouldnt believe me. Buying me nail kit, and outfit. But im telling her, im not. She still does not believe me. but nevermind.
I would never approach a guy whether or not he was good looking or not. I dont know why, but i get all floppy and weak, like i have no energy and i start to walk weirdly as i walk past. But then again, i am less anxious around guys who i do not find attractive. It just happens.
Last year it was still really bad, i couldnt even say hi to a guy.. But then i gradually was able to say hi, and then bye... i am fine talking to a guy online though. I used to talk to this work colleague, i would call him my online friend, because we dont say hi or bye to each other in person. But then he was being really mean about my sa, and manipulative. so i ignored him.. and then he started to say hi to me in person.
now its not so bad, i am able to even shout across the room, hi... and small talk a bit. work has helped me open up.
I would never approach a guy whether or not he was good looking or not. I dont know why, but i get all floppy and weak, like i have no energy and i start to walk weirdly as i walk past. But then again, i am less anxious around guys who i do not find attractive. It just happens.
Last year it was still really bad, i couldnt even say hi to a guy.. But then i gradually was able to say hi, and then bye... i am fine talking to a guy online though. I used to talk to this work colleague, i would call him my online friend, because we dont say hi or bye to each other in person. But then he was being really mean about my sa, and manipulative. so i ignored him.. and then he started to say hi to me in person.
now its not so bad, i am able to even shout across the room, hi... and small talk a bit. work has helped me open up.
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simpsons2007
Well-known member
Most defiantly yes and its not just the opposite sex that I'm intimidated I feel intimidated by everyone.
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
As much as I am intimidated by any person.
Attractive, 'ugly', short, tall, fat, thin, homeless, foreign, handicapped--- everyone intimidates me.
haha
Attractive, 'ugly', short, tall, fat, thin, homeless, foreign, handicapped--- everyone intimidates me.
haha
Magnify
I'm intimidated by anyone of any gender. If anything, I think I am more intimated by the same gender.
I'm intimidated by anyone of any gender. If anything, I think I am more intimated by the same gender.
Niiña
Well-known member
yes, the guys intimidate me, no matter if is handsome or not for me, usually no matter if i don't like a boy, always I want give a good impression for the guys, but if I don't give my best impression I get depressed, and I do is evade guys cause I'm very self-distrust
by myself.
by myself.
breakthespell
Well-known member
Yeah, usually mostly around women my age or younger. Older women I don't really have an issue with.
CosmicNeurotica
Banned
For those who said you are intimidated most by the same gender, I agree.
Most men I know try to act "manly", like they deserve to be in control. I like cats and science and long walks on the beach, and cooking. No surprise I'm most intimidated by other men.
The truth is, most women want that control anyway, and the fact that I usually end up on the losing end makes me even more intimidated by other males.
The only place I like to be in control is in the bedroom.
Most men I know try to act "manly", like they deserve to be in control. I like cats and science and long walks on the beach, and cooking. No surprise I'm most intimidated by other men.
The truth is, most women want that control anyway, and the fact that I usually end up on the losing end makes me even more intimidated by other males.
The only place I like to be in control is in the bedroom.
atavistic
Member
This. I'd much prefer to be around women than men. When I was working at a library I had only one male coworker. It was probably the least anxiety causing workspace I'll ever find. Very pleasant, too, though the pay was bad.
juan_sa
Member
Re: Magnify
same here. any gender. only time a girl is more intimidating is when i have a crush..
same here. any gender. only time a girl is more intimidating is when i have a crush..
Bittersweet
Well-known member
I'm intimidated by confidence and cockiness for different reasons.
If they're confident, I don't feel like I'm good enough to associate with them.
If they're cocky, I fear they will mock and patronize me.
I don't feel intimidated by women, I just get tired of the predictable catty, petty, jealous, two-faced, backstabbing, that so many engage in. I usually avoid them to stay drama free.
If they're confident, I don't feel like I'm good enough to associate with them.
If they're cocky, I fear they will mock and patronize me.
I don't feel intimidated by women, I just get tired of the predictable catty, petty, jealous, two-faced, backstabbing, that so many engage in. I usually avoid them to stay drama free.
