Are you ashamed of your moods?

[EscapeArtist]

When you share them or display them?

I realize that my shame isn't usually immediate around other people, but comes from regretting being a certain way. Lately the regret has been about me seeming overly happy in situations, but it was just how I felt, I felt happy and so acted as such. Now looking back (now that I don't feel so good anymore) over how... Joyful I was, I feel like an idiot, or a lunatic. This happens a lot but because I didn't used to be happy often, it happened when I was sharing sadness, I would look back, after getting out of the emotion, on admitting to an emotion through an attitude and feel this intense regret for being 'depressed' to somebody, or irritable around somebody, and sharing it.

I feel that way deeply right now about the happiness thing. This sounds so pathetic because who regrets being happy? Well in society, it seems not many people are, so I have a feeling people are judging me thinking "Wow, is she crazy? Is she making this stuff up? She must be fake underneath all that smiling, and positivity" (partly what I question, but there is no such thing as a fake positive attitude??). When I met up with an old friend, she said something like "Wow... you look a lot... happier!" But she said it like it was a bad thing... I sense that people don't understand where it comes from because it's a rare thing to find around the people I know.

Looking for your thoughts on this

 

[kihira]

Moods & emotions are hard to control. The intensity of moods & emotions are hard to get right. Not enough, too much. Gloomy when others are celebrating. Over happy and getting blank stares for it. Different cultural attitudes to emotions, maybe our level of happiness would not be out of place in a native village? Share joy with the folk who follow the hidden trails, they understand. Feel shame only if harm has been done, otherwise make do with embarrassment, if you must. Anger is one emotion to feel shame for. When it comes out uncontrolled, let the shame teach a lesson, then let it go and move on.

6 am so i don't know if this makes much sense

 

[Falkor]

I can so much relate to this. I can feel really happy too in social situations,
afterwards I feel a huge shame coming up, like.. I should not have acted so much on my happiness or over-act too much. I'm on the top of mountains when I experience happiness, the same goes with sadness, pain, frustration, and so on. I don't know if this is a social anxiety thing, but I thought let's just share it. My psych told me, I'm very highly sensetive and my emotions are strong and very heavy and it goes up and down (mood swings) But shame about my moods, Yes, even if I don't act on it, Because my emotions are strong, I cannot hide them. Maybe that's because my anxiety level is so high and I deal with SA. Dunno.

 

[planemo]

I have similar regret about my emotions, especially the positive ones. I kinda feel like I'm bound to be depressed over something sooner or later, and at that stage I feel like my prior happiness was useless and almost unnecessary. I also hate how I openly share things and seem to invest feelings with certain people. I would prefer if I just keep my distance from them, coz I know that despite how genuine my kindness is to them, they're gonna kick when I'm down or treat me like a nobody sooner or later. I feel really stupid for showing an emotional bond with these people. I feel better when I stay away and turn inwardly. I have less regrets that way.

 

[Lea]

I read "Are you ashamed of your mods"

 

[SilentBird]

I get frustrated with the severity of my moods... especially when I can engage in conversation with people and enjoy myself and other times I can't even face those same people.

 

[Mokkat]

I always hide my mood from everyone with facades, unless I am really depressed and at my parents' house. But sometimes I get into a situation way too personal or demeaning (in my eyes) for me to handle, and instantly turn from a seemingly ok person, to an avoidant mess in an instant - that makes me extremely guilty and sad

 

[arsenalwa]

I'm always kinda ashamed of how constanly depressed I am, that I never show it in real life. This probably sound odd but my family, for example, have absolutely no idea that I'm ever depressed or have any problem at all. They actually had some comments before about being in my own world and having very few troubles in life... Just cause I always keep my distance from them and not ever show how I really feel. Lately, I've been ashamed of my moods here, too. I fear that people are sick of my moping around and complaining all the time. I have this urge to delete any depressed post I make now minutes after I post it.

 

[kihira]

My moods are ashamed of me...

 

[Minty]

Not really. As long as I can cry alone, in peace lol.
I have pretty normal moods. Nothing to be ashamed of.

What I do hate though is...when people try to cheer me up with a hug but don't want to listen to what I have to say. I don't respond to physical contact. In fact, it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I get cheered up when people want to listen to what I have to say so I don't have to hold it all in anymore. They don't have to say a word, just listen.

But my mom, ughhh. She gets offended when I'm crying about something and she gives me a hug and I don't respond to it. I can't, honestly. They don't make me feel better. But she doesn't understand that at all and makes me feel guilty.

When I try to actually talk about my problems, she makes me feel guilty again for putting all that stuff on her. It's weird. I like it when people feel like they can confide in me about their problems. I love it when I feel like I've helped someone by listening to them. But she doesn't. She feels like you've attacked her somehow.

I learned when I was a teenager to never confide in her. But it's cool now. I've really come to accept her for who she is.

 

[JamesSmith]

I'm ashamed that I get ashamed of my body when I'm naked when in open showers, but I haven't had to take an open shower for over 7 years or so. I'm ashamed of my occasional short temper. Part of the reason I get mad is because I am anxious. I've gotten better at controlling my temper, which is good.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

YouTube - Peter Shaffer's Amadeus in 30 seconds

 

[coyote]

I'm not ashamed of my moose

 

[kihira]

I'm not ashamed of my moose

Mum?..........

 

[Fighter86]

I feel embarrassed by my moods, especially when I become too angry or too happy/ giggly over things.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I'm not ashamed of my moose

This, guy! ****, he tried to hit me!

 

[Feathers]

I wish I didn't get such extreme emotions too... mood swings or such...

And why is there a MOOSE in this thread??

*moods* not *moose*, guys!! stay on topic!!!!!

 

[Sial Axetder]

I wish I didn't get such extreme emotions too... mood swings or such...

And why is there a MOOSE in this thread??

*moods* not *moose*, guys!! stay on topic!!!!!

There's always time for a little humour.

I dislike negative moods.
What I dislike most is not being able to show expression. Not ashamed. I don't understand.

 

[Hastings & Main]

Very ashamed.

My bad moods while living with my friendly-ex caused months (if not a year), all combined, of tension and hurt feelings - mostly me hurting her without wanting to.
One Christmas a few years back I was in such a bad way that she actually could have perished from sickness if I didn't check in on her in time. Christmas day around 6 PM I finally 'woke up' and went to see if she needed help, and immediately called an ambulance. She was suffering from dehydration and desperately needed fluids through an IV drip.

What made the night all the more terrible was that there was almost two feet of snow on the ground - the heaviest snowfall in the city for years or decades - and we were stuck at the hospital.

I waited in panic in the waiting room for five hours with no other people in there except the orderlies @ the desk, expecting someone to come out and tell me what was going on, but no one did.

Finally I went up to the desk - and obviously I would've checked earlier repeatedly if it weren't for the panicky SA tearing me up - and they said she was ready to go a couple hours ago.

I was so overwhelmed with anger at everything from the nursing staff to myself to the f****ing snow outside I was almost crying in rage. I went in to see her, we got her ready to go, dressed in what she went in with (not a lot - you never think to bring coats or warm gear when paramedics are stomping through your home), and went outside to freezing snow and the sick realization that the buses had stopped running due to the fact that it was now 1 AM on xmas day.

We finally hailed a cab after being passed up by many and me inwardly screaming "Can't they see she's sick?!", who dropped us off at the apartment's front door, reluctantly: the taxi could hardly navigate and slid a few feet sideways a few times trying to get through the heavy snow which hadn't been cleared from our side-street. But he took pity and made it, where I picked her up to the sidewalk and we got in.

The weight of this still rides me and I can't get over it, and I'm sure it caused a subconscious rift between us, no matter how much we know it "was caused by a black mood".
Who do I blame? The 'other me'?

God, if she had died....

So yeah, I'm ashamed, and this is why I'll fight this s**t til I'm done.