are we cowards
- Thread starter NGP
- Start date
Confuseddd
Well-known member
No , the factors that contributed are beyond your control.
Most times people don't even know what is causing them to feel this way and must take time to discover themselfs and there past. Where there is an effect there must have been a cause.
Back to your question though , I can see why you might think that , and im sure other phobics for example people afraid of clowns, or peanut butter , or chins, or belly buttons (those are all phobias) feel the same way. The thing is though we are programmed to be afraid of something for a reason , the fear we experience is beyond what most other people experience. What we feel in social situations is what many others feel right before a fight, or right before a car accident ect. So no we are not cowards , in fact dealing with a phobia like ours forces us to fight every single day. Dealing with this makes us soldiers
and one day when you overcome it , you can consider yourself a veteran.
Most times people don't even know what is causing them to feel this way and must take time to discover themselfs and there past. Where there is an effect there must have been a cause.
Back to your question though , I can see why you might think that , and im sure other phobics for example people afraid of clowns, or peanut butter , or chins, or belly buttons (those are all phobias) feel the same way. The thing is though we are programmed to be afraid of something for a reason , the fear we experience is beyond what most other people experience. What we feel in social situations is what many others feel right before a fight, or right before a car accident ect. So no we are not cowards , in fact dealing with a phobia like ours forces us to fight every single day. Dealing with this makes us soldiers
and one day when you overcome it , you can consider yourself a veteran.
panicsurvivor
Well-known member
I have wrestled with this question for years. Before I had my first panic attack I was literally afraid of nothing. I know that sounds hard to believe but it is true. It is in my nature to not be afraid. But its hard not to feel like a coward when you are afraid of the sky. Something that is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. I think that thinking of yourself as a coward is wrong. Its is negative self talk and will just make you feel worse. I won't lie, I have hung out in circles (cage fighters) that would consider all of us cowards. To a lot of people you should be afraid someone robbing you or raping you or killing you. Or things like tornado's and earthquakes. If it is not a tangible threat to you than it can't hurt you, anything else in just in your head, get over it. These people just don't get it. The mind is a complex thing it can turn a good life into hell, and hell into a good life. Usually people that think the way I just mentioned aren't quite as smart as we are and don't care about anything other than themselves. They have no empathy for others. Its easy to not be afraid when you have a narrow mind that is focused on self gratification. Its a lot harder when you think and care about things and others. Just remember that our problems can be a two edged sword. A lot of us can get a lot of fulfillment out of doing the simple things that are challenging for us, that others take for granted. This means that while they are bored with say going to the supermarket, some of us will take that a personal victory and be jazzed all day after they do it. Try and think positive.
Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
Thinking of myself as a coward would give me some incentive to overcome my fears.
I have wrestled with this question for years. Before I had my first panic attack I was literally afraid of nothing. I know that sounds hard to believe but it is true. It is in my nature to not be afraid. But its hard not to feel like a coward when you are afraid of the sky. Something that is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. I think that thinking of yourself as a coward is wrong. Its is negative self talk and will just make you feel worse. I won't lie, I have hung out in circles (cage fighters) that would consider all of us cowards. To a lot of people you should be afraid someone robbing you or raping you or killing you. Or things like tornado's and earthquakes. If it is not a tangible threat to you than it can't hurt you, anything else in just in your head, get over it. These people just don't get it. The mind is a complex thing it can turn a good life into hell, and hell into a good life. Usually people that think the way I just mentioned aren't quite as smart as we are and don't care about anything other than themselves. They have no empathy for others. Its easy to not be afraid when you have a narrow mind that is focused on self gratification. Its a lot harder when you think and care about things and others. Just remember that our problems can be a two edged sword. A lot of us can get a lot of fulfillment out of doing the simple things that are challenging for us, that others take for granted. This means that while they are bored with say going to the supermarket, some of us will take that a personal victory and be jazzed all day after they do it. Try and think positive.
That's true, my pattern of thinking is like: "If there is people suffering I suffer too". If I am eating a good food at a restaurant at a table outside in the street and a poor person asks for money I feel sad and lose the will to eat.
Off course I can't be this way and I'm fighting a lot this pattern of thinking, I need to more selfish and less sensitive. But I don't want to be like this people that only care about themselves, I know that's easily to handle life this way though. But I don't want to lose my values and morality.
And I think the same as you do at the last part, normal people get bored so easily with everything, but I went to the supermarket today and it was a big adventure. Life can be sweet when you start making very small victories day by day and have hope.
you know what, it is very easy to say you are brave, but if your actions do not reflect your thoughts then you are obviously thinking wrong. I am terrified of rejection. It is not enough to be brave, walk up and get rejected, but you have to know how to talk so you wont get rejected. I do not know how to do that. I dont have much time left to learn how, i must get moving. but i cant, i could get a burst of courage, walk up to someone that i have not spoken to for a year and ask her to come study with me. But that is not normal! you need consistency, you need to build it slowly YOU NEED COMMON SENSE! i dont have that, i dont have the control over my fear for consistant breakthroughs. so i cant break the patterns of awkwardness and abuse. If you understood what i just wrote you are a genius.
Cowards? Cowards!? No.
I think we are the most brave people on Earth.
I have this s.hit since I was born. People couldn't carry me when I was a baby. And after few months neither my mum could. My mum says that I was the the most quiet baby ever, I just cried when people tried to interact with me. I used to stay for hours alone playing with lego.
Then came school (shivers).
I have this s.hit since I was born. People couldn't carry me when I was a baby. And after few months neither my mum could. My mum says that I was the the most quiet baby ever, I just cried when people tried to interact with me. I used to stay for hours alone playing with lego.
Then came school (shivers).
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
Coward. Coward is a word I've used to describe myself many times over the last 5 years. That was my initial "diagnosis," that I was just a coward, that I could be doing things but wasn't, because I was a coward. I can't speak for everyone else, but I can for myself when I say I think I still am. Maybe I just have a strong internal locus of control, but I don't there is anyone or anything to blame for me being the way I am but myself. I remember making a conscious decision to talk less. I don't have any strong physical symptoms holding me back, other then shyness which isn't abnormal on the surface or in a physical sense. This leaves me as the only one stopping me from doing things, talking, taking risks, venturing into the unknown. I can try to explain it as an elaborate puzzle with a lot of pieces that contribute to the final product, but when I look at the puzzle put together, I see what the problem at hand appears to be; I'm constantly conflicted on whether I should do something and risk screwing up, embarissing myself, being imperfect (in a sense) or not, laying back staying in my safe, boring zone. Whenever I pick the latter, it just seems cowardly, I didn't do something for the sole reason that I was afraid of what may happen.
Last edited:
yup exactly.
