anyone struggle with there job due to social phobia?

bitingthepea

Well-known member
i started my first full time job a few months ago, and dont get how people can talk so much. I feel rather left out! Does anyone else feel the same way?
I work with 2 women and they have bags of confidence (too much if u ask me) and joke with eachother about stupid stuff, it feels so painful to be with them. I cant quit i need the money and want to gain confidence
 

Section_31

Well-known member
I feel this every day myself, but im in a luckier situation in that i have my own office with a locking door and usualy i can tell people to go away, and call the IT support line.

Im sorry you are having such a rough time with this. Is it possible for you to move to a different area maybe?.
 

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
I am not working at the moment, but when I had a job it was a struggle. I tried my best to be chatty; it took a long long time to actually open up. Once I did things got much better. It takes me a long time though. My SA is affecting me now as well: looking for a job, doing interviews, things like that. Interviews...I hate them so much. No fun.
 

KiaKaha

Banned
I cant even hold a job down. I freak out and have borderline panic attacks. Its very bizarre to watch from an outside perspective. It sucks... it really really does...and its probably the most depressing part of having anxiety. It makes me feel like a total loser.
 

Richey

Well-known member
I cant even hold a job down. I freak out and have borderline panic attacks. Its very bizarre to watch from an outside perspective. It sucks... it really really does...and its probably the most depressing part of having anxiety. It makes me feel like a total loser.

I get really bad stomach pains in an open office, it starts rumbling loudly and i have to go outside to get oxygen, i also feel claustraphobic if its a big office. usually everyone is very quiet and can focus just on the screen. but all the distractions and the chitter chatter affects my concentration too much. i remember often receiving constant emails that had short deadlines for completion. i recall feeling physically ill because it took long enough to reply to them and then trying to handle the constant list of work just made me freak out. i'm surprised that i lasted a couple of years but i did try the best i could. i am not sure i want to work in a big office again. i remember getting home after work and i felt like passing out on the bed just from dealing with all the issues at work.
 

Fighter86

Well-known member
Well it depends on what the environment is, I generally hate working in offices with young people because then they discuss their lives and it soon becomes a realization I do not have one, and becomes extremely embarrassing. Previously I have managed to prevent this by being well dressed, put together so people would generally assumed I have a life outside of work. But at my new work place, there are various curious types who just simply keep asking what you do on those damn weekends. It's really annoying to say the least.
 

Rembrandt Broam

Well-known member
Well it depends on what the environment is, I generally hate working in offices with young people because then they discuss their lives and it soon becomes a realization I do not have one, and becomes extremely embarrassing. Previously I have managed to prevent this by being well dressed, put together so people would generally assumed I have a life outside of work. But at my new work place, there are various curious types who just simply keep asking what you do on those damn weekends. It's really annoying to say the least.

Just give short, vague, noncommittal answers whenever they ask ("not much", "oh, you know, the usual stuff", "nothing interesting", etc.) and eventually they'll realise that you're not going to share the details of your personal life with them and stop asking. In any office, there's always someone who's ready to tell everyone within earshot of their weekend adventures, so the curious types will readily latch onto those people instead.
 

nightcrawler

Well-known member
Well my job just got a whole lot worse ::(: I'm a postman, and for about half the day I work in the delivery/sorting office with around 30-40 others. I used to work near some friends who I got on well with and could chat with quite easily. However recently we had this whole move around and now I'm near people I don't really talk to. And a little way down from me there's this guy who just won't shut up and is always talking, and is just annoying. Because of these factors I'm now really quiet (I wasn't exactly loud before ;) but I'd chat with people I was next to). These people must think I'm boring cos I don't really talk to them, but that's cos I just don't really want to. I still get to see/talk to my old mates I worked with before, but only during meal breaks really.
 

Fighter86

Well-known member
I wish I could, I work in a small office of about 7 people, and one of my colleagues actually asked me point blank if I just spent my weekends sleeping :eek:



They also try to prob about boyfriends, etc etc. In fact, the same colleague kept asking me, and if I say no, I run the risk of being a loser, as where I come from, some girls my age are practically married at my age. At the same time I really don't want to share details of my pass relationships with guys. In the end, I ended up having to share some simply because I have nothing to share, I don't go out on weekends, nothing, so to make me not look like some strange creature I was forced to share something. Not good.



I feel humiliated sharing my life, in all honesty, I've never met anyone like me in real life, it seems everyone has friends.
 

twiggle

Well-known member
In an old job they used to go on about how quiet I was. It was slightly intimidating at first but eventually I learnt to be chatty with them. Just took a bit of time to get familiar with it.
 

lilmutegirl

Well-known member
I get along with everyone I work with (there are only 8 of us, and with the exception of one girl, we have all been friends for years), so I have no problem socializing with him. I have issues with "higher-up" people, though, like our district manager, who makes everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) feel stupid and anxious. I have actually considering looking for another job since she was promoted to this position just to avoid dealing with her, but then I'd have to start all over, and wouldn't be as comfortable in my everyday environment, so I'm not sure which is worse...
 

JP81

Well-known member
To me there are few things in life better than working with someone who is either quiet like me or an extrovert but is sensitive enough to realise you aren't much of a talker. It's the extroverts who aren't smart enough to realise everyone is different that annoy me.
 

-lonestar-

Well-known member
that's harsh torture I go through that, and recently lost my job because of poor attendance. Its a catch 22 not being able to have a life to talk of or feel comfortable being with others. This cycle, makes me wonder how our brains differ. We want a life, we want friends but can't seem to feel at ease or see the need to go on yapping.

This is a theme that is hard to wrap my head around. I feel your pain, I feel weird because men are rarely ever accepted when they are very quiet. Tho women must feel the pressure swell because usually women like to talk, it's just not fair to us suffering daily like this.
 

this_portrait

Well-known member
I have a part-time campus job as a photographer, and the assignments I'm given are typically individual. I don't really see the other photographers much, so I don't have to worry about having co-workers.

Anxiety does sometimes come up when I have to shoot, though. I mainly get anxious because my camera has a loud shutter (and Nikon conveniently started making cameras with quiet shutters AFTER I bought my camera...). I also sometimes feel like a creep whenever I have to photograph classes, but I try to just see it as an opportunity to intimidate the hell out of people.
 

Agent_Violet

Well-known member
i hate working in such a small office...everyone knows my business bc my husband is a chatterbox.

i wish i worked for a large office that way i could remain in the background:)

everyone i work with thinks I'm a huge b*tch bc I don't socialize a lot and when they grill me with questions about my weekend or some story my husband told them about our evening I just give one or two word answers then walk away to hide in my office with the door shut.
 

Dead_on_Arrival

Well-known member
I hated working with loads of people. I bounced around from one job to the next after the army. My best job was as trade supervisor for a packaging firm because I had no contact with anyone but the odd customer. The other staff worked in the warehouse and if I needed anything I phoned them up for it to be sent up in the lift. Now I'm a student studying from home which will hopefuly lead to a computing job I can do from home.
 
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