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flakeybark said:Its also really difficult to access my own feelings. I don't know how I feel about anything. I've had it before where someone has said something particularly nasty or hurtful to me and I just kind of stand there, bumbling, smiling even, and have no realization about how hurt I might be or angry even. It usually hits me several hours later when I'm flipping through a magazine or sitting on the can, watering a plant, etc.
flakeybark said:Sorry, that's a bit crass.
What I mean is, well its sort of difficult to explain. Sometimes I honestly feel like I'm mentally challenged. Dim witted. I don't even know, inarticulate, I guess. Like I'm only able to articulate about 10% of my thoughts, and everything else, the other 90%, just kind of sits there, like a pile of dusty bricks. Unintelligible, but weighty nonetheless.
I know I'm not empty headed. but dangit, I feel as though I'm speaking some other wierd ethnic language inside my head and not understanding one word of it. Someone will ask me a simple question, "How do you feel today?" and my response is always the same:
"UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...//??...?.. cheeseburgers?"
Well, not exactly. But something like that. What's my problem? Why do I feel so dumb? Why do I feel like a permanent resident on Hamburger Planet?!
*sorry if I offended anyone in this post. I admit to being a little too liberal with the word 'retard'.