Anyone else always making plans and breaking them?

[TailsAlone]

I did that today. I told my grandparents I was going to come over and watch the football game with them, but I woke up later than I was expecting and just didn't want to go, so I told them we'd try it another night. :: That kind of thing happens fairly often. Back when I lived with my mom and we had some family gathering coming up, I would be positive when she brought it up but then decide not to go at the last minute. And when I did go I'd always find someplace in the corner where I could sit and read until we went home.

Does anyone else have trouble committing to things like that?

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

No i don't make plans in the first place most of the time If you say you will do something just do it especially grandparents cuz you can learn from them they're usually more mature and stuff

 

[dottie]

i used to be like this. my thought was that i am not that important so i won't be missed anyhow. well, that is just not true. people notice when you show up late or flake out. it's not cool when people do it to you, so why is it ok if you do it to them? start setting standards for yourself and commit. if you say you are going to do something, have the integrity to follow through.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I never make a plan I know I won't keep, so I rarely commit to anything. I prefer saying no right away than saying yes and then not following through.

 

[MikeyC]

people notice when you show up late or flake out. it's not cool when people do it to you, so why is it ok if you do it to them?

You got that right. I have a "friend" who would always make up some bogus excuse to not hang out with me. We would make plans and then she'd flake out, which eventually became expected.

Yeah, I always try to keep plans that I make. It's not nice to break them unless there's a good reason.

 

[positivechange]

I used to do this until I realized how much of a letdown it is to other people. Now I just avoid making commitments in the first place.

When I do end up spending time with people I usually have a good time. Even though I've had plenty of positive reinforcement, I still avoid social gatherings. The stress and fear of being a disappointment to others is a strong deterrent.

 

[laure15]

I usually don't flake out when I make plans for doing homework, studying, calling, emailing, or doing anything online. But I flake out a lot when it comes to going out and doing things. For example, I was planning to sell my books but everytime I plan to do so, I flake out. I also delayed my appointment with my eye doctor. My mom kept nagging me to go see the doctor but I kept telling her no. She made several appointments with the Dr only to cancel them because I had an excuse. Finally, I did go and I'm glad it's over. It wasn't that bad.

 

[JackOfSpades]

I flake out a lot, unfortunately. It usually starts where I don't want to do something and then suddenly I feel completely unable to do it. Like it becomes the worst, most tortuous thing to do. And I feel physically and emotionally unable. It usually calls up everything I dislike and feel is broken about myself, and I withdraw not wanting to face the shame and guilt I now feel.

That's how my cycle with that goes. And a lot of people are not that tolerant of it.

 

[drganon]

I don't really make plans. I don't really know anyone to make plans around with anyway other than my mom and grandma. They make the plans and I just follow along.

 

[Agent_Violet]

I stopped promising to be places because I flake out just about every single time.If it's last minute I'm more likely to show up than if it's planned ahead of time.

 

[coyote]

my picture is right next to the word "flake" in the dictionary

i could have written this:

I flake out a lot, unfortunately. It usually starts where I don't want to do something and then suddenly I feel completely unable to do it. Like it becomes the worst, most tortuous thing to do. And I feel physically and emotionally unable. It usually calls up everything I dislike and feel is broken about myself, and I withdraw not wanting to face the shame and guilt I now feel.

That's how my cycle with that goes. And a lot of people are not that tolerant of it.

 

[spider04]

I was supposed to meet someone at a marathon, and then earlier that week I said I couldn't go anymore. Just because I was afraid that I couldn't sleep the night before.

 

[truffleshuffle]

Not as much as I used to but still flake out every now and then when I just don;t feel up to it.

 

[truffleshuffle]

I was supposed to meet someone at a marathon, and then earlier that week I said I couldn't go anymore. Just because I was afraid that I couldn't sleep the night before.

I always have a hard time sleeping if I have something to do the next day. I end up being tired the whole day and then only sleeping a few hours the next day and getting my sleep cycle messed up.

 

[Billy-Bongo]

Yea it happens regularly with me. It's because i do have a strong desire to mix, but when i actually do the vast majority of the time i feel extremly uncomfortable but as some form of sick joke my optimism increases and i try again. Is pretty funny i guess eh god? Hahaha

 

[DownInAHole]

No, I typically let my phone go to the answering machine, or gave non-committal type answers like, I'll have to check my schedule, or not sure if I'll be able to make it.

 

[gustavofring]

I usually don't flake out of social events anymore like I did when I was really low, people don't like that and rightfully so, but I do still have enormous difficulty planning stuff and following through with it.

 

[mikebird]

I was always the one to suggest what we'll do and when. In our 20s

Get people to come to... London... or to someone else's place, or drive to the countryside in the sunshine or to indoor parties... sometimes others' ideas which I'd hear about remotely, and persuade the people nearby to come along. I loved it. Some pressure, but nice when it goes well

I'm well organised and always on time, but it's not exciting when it's just me doing it.

Further on, after the 20s, it has been tough to use the magic mobile phone tool to meet people, who are late, and I have to decide whether to wait, or give up

 

[LostNAlone]

I flake out on plans all the time, I actually can't remember the last time I did something that I planned for. It goes from hey that's a great idea I can't wait, to there is no freaking way I'm ever going to do that.

 

[Barrier]

Actually no. It's other people who flake out on me.