anger/hate

lonelee1

lonelee1

Well-known member
does anyone else ever feel anger, hatred even at people when you feel jealous of them? like if they're 'better' than you socially, in looks, smarter, freer, etc?

this person i'm jealous of keeps popping up in my head and i feel really mad. this guy im interested in, his girlfriend. pisses me off that she's had an easy life. i know it sounds terrible but she makes me so mad. to the point where i think it's become part of my intrusive thoughts. i also think im just insecure.
stuff makes me mad sometimes. other pretty people i don't care about and try not to compare. is this person better than me? probably. or else i wouldnt care so much. i sound whiny but ive been awake for a really long time.
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Jealousy is the last feeling that I want to have. You're hating her because your insecure. It's a self defeating thought pattern and unfair to the person that you're hating.

Personally, I'm glad to see other people happy. At least someone is happy on this miserable planet. I wish them nothing but the best.

Focus that energy on improving yourself and finding a guy that will accept you as you are.
 
Lamb

Lamb

Well-known member
I felt this way towards a set of twin girls. That they were better than me and were granted things in life I wasn't and were therefore going to be better off than me. Mainly due to low self-esteem, self loathing and the feeling that they were a threat.
Rage would fill my mind whenever they crossed it.

It took about a year for the thoughts to die down because they were in some ways, a part of my life.

Is it that she has had an easier life, you'd like to take her spot, or a combination?
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Let me also add: Yes, jealousy is the last emotion that I want to feel but it is natural. Everyone feels jealous from time to time. I just don't want to make that a part of my personality where I'm always stewing in my own jealousy.
Most of the time, I'm happy for people being successful etc. There are times when I feel jealous. But, I don't hate anyone for it and I try not to dwell on it.
 
Saga

Saga

Well-known member
Yes, I do. I get jealous very easily, although I never show it. It just bubbles away inside of me. ._. I'm sure I would show it, if I actually had the courage to... Not that it's a good emotion, so it's probably a good think I don't. o_O
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
I sometimes get envious when I see families reunited having a good time, or children playing. But then I remember that I have no idea about what their life is like. They could be having really bad problems for all I know.
 
cocorose

cocorose

Well-known member
I feel anger & hatred.. and jealousy.. but not sure if I ever connect the two.

I was thinking about this the other day, and I need to find a way to stop doing it because it's really unhealthy. I will imagine scenarios in my head.. like an argument with someone, that never happened.. I get so worried for some reason that people are going to take advantage of me or screw me over that I imagine it happening and keep thinking about it, and it makes me angry & stressed. It usually happens when it could possibly happen. Like if someone owes me money, or someone stealing something from me. It's like I expect them to do that and I get so mad at them, but in my head.

I also get jealous.. I really really liked this guy, and his ex-wife is a nurse practitioner.. so she's almost like a docor.. and she's the same age as me. And I am,. nothing.. so that made me feel really crappy about myself & my life. I find myself doing that alot, comparing myself.. I am interested in a guy right now, and I found a little bit out about his ex-wife, and I look at what she's doing and think, "why would he (or anyone) ever be interested in me. My life f*cking sucks, and I have all these problems." *sigh :sad:
 
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laure15

Well-known member
When I was a child, I used to be jealous of a friend who is more mature, smarter, and friendlier than I am. The adults love to praise my friend often.
Now that I'm older, I try not to hate or get jealous of other people. Though being in a hateful environment can spawn hate in me because I'm highly sensitive to my surroundings. If people feel anger or hatred, I tend to too.
I envy people who are more spiritually advanced than I am, people who profess to be able to see and communicate with spirits, master lucid dreaming, have some sort of ESP abilities, etc.
 
K

knr9311

Well-known member
When I was in middle school I was always that person that looked like they should be starting elementary school. I was always jealous of my best friend at the time because she looked like she actually belonged. Plus, she was always tan, super skinny, and tall. I tried not to let it interfere with our friendship, though. It just ended on it's own. But in high school, I gained a new best friend and even though we were both short and pale (unless she went to the tanning bed) I would find myself comparing our personalities. I would put myself down for not being as approachable as her, etc. Throughout middle school, high school, and even now I find myself comparing myself not only physically, but mentally to people. Sometimes it can also be that they have a social life, a ton of friends, and are always doing things.
I've gotten better at it some, as I've gotten older.. but in some situations I still find myself extremely jealous.
 
davey118

davey118

Member
I feel this way all of the time. I know that it is irrational, however, I can't always stop the feeling from coming on. With me I have a lot of anger/hate towards pretty much all of my friends because they are married and much farther along in life than I am. I have only recently come out as gay, and am not dealing with it or progressing as quickly as I would like. I guess in general I have a lot of resentment toward straight people in general for not having to deal with being gay.
 
davey118

davey118

Member
knr9311 said:
Just the fact that you came out is brave! I wish you the best with your future! :)
Click to expand...

Thanks. I should say recently was last April. Really not that recent I guess, sometimes I forget how much time as gone, by which makes me feel even worse about the whole thing.
 
squidgee

squidgee

Well-known member
lonelee1 said:
does anyone else ever feel anger, hatred even at people when you feel jealous of them? like if they're 'better' than you socially, in looks, smarter, freer, etc?

this person i'm jealous of keeps popping up in my head and i feel really mad. this guy im interested in, his girlfriend. pisses me off that she's had an easy life. i know it sounds terrible but she makes me so mad. to the point where i think it's become part of my intrusive thoughts. i also think im just insecure.
stuff makes me mad sometimes. other pretty people i don't care about and try not to compare. is this person better than me? probably. or else i wouldnt care so much. i sound whiny but ive been awake for a really long time.
Click to expand...

Yeah I sometimes feel like that, but I wouldn't use a word as powerful as hate. I don't hate them, I just feel envious and maybe dislike them.
 
lonelee1

lonelee1

Well-known member
yeah, id rather feel positive. i don't know why i feel hatred.
yes i do.
i should forget about it, but its taken on a different quality. i guess over time it wont bother me anymore, time to grow up and accept disappointments. no one else is dwelling on me, so why should i bother? easier said than done. but i think we can all relate on some level
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
Whenever I return anger with anger of my own, I might feel a momentary bitter satisfaction, but then it often just leads to more unpleasantness and escalation of conflict.
 
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