Exactly. She hasn't been with a man in years--you're sure to score!
Afraid of females
- Thread starter Cool_Un_Cool
- Start date
Exactly. She hasn't been with a man in years--you're sure to score!
combat
Well-known member
I'm not sure it's so much judging as it is just a feeling some of us get. Rationally I know that what you're saying is true, but it simply doesn't change the fact that I feel a lot less intimidated by a beautiful girl wearing jeans, a t-shirt/sweatshirt and her hair in a simple ponytail than I do by one who is all dressed up and looks like she just left a hair salon. I think sometimes women have no idea just how intimidating that can be (don't ask me why, I don't know, I'm just calling it as I perceive it).
philly2bits
Well-known member
I agree it's not the clothes that make the person. However I think it has more to do with what the clothes represent more so then the clothes themselves.
How people dress does convey a certain attitude. In most cases, If a man wearing a suit is compared to a man wearing a Tshrit and jeans, I would think most people would say the man in the suit has more confidence. It could be the other way around though, as the man in the jeans could be so confident that he doesn't feel the need to dress any other way, and the man in the suit may have no confidence at all and is trying to project an aura of confidence anyway. The same can go for females.
I think it is more the projected confidence which is intimidating, regardless if the confidence is real or fake.
Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
me too! the talons are intimidating
lyricalliaisons
Well-known member
I feel that way myself, & I am one lol. But I don't feel that they're better than me, I feel that they think they are. When I'm around females my own age who are "normal" my anxiety just about peaks. I just feel more comfortable around males because females are so much more judgmental than they are. Or at least they are to other females. Even online, I'm afraid to talk to women. I don't have many online female friends & the one or two I do have make me incredibly nervous, purely because they're female lol.
Bullied Anonymous
Well-known member
I'm a female. I have no problem flirting with a guy I'm not all that interested in if I can see he's shy ,as well, or he's trying to flirt with me. However, when I'am around someone I find attractive I'm afraid to look at them and stay in a conversation, or I'll start chatting about random subjects and end up making an ass of myself. When I'm attracted to someone really I try to avoid them ,but if they talk then I can't control my nervousness enough to stop talking to them. I'm working on it ,though.
Hope things get better for you.
Hope things get better for you.
Last edited:
Same here. I don't feel that they are better than me or even that they think they're better than me... I just feel so different from most of the women I've encountered that I'm not sure how to fit in with them.
I'm no tomboy, but I don't really feel that I have much in common with many women other than being a mother. The only people I really talk to besides family are a few friends that I have online, and they're all male.
Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
i feel this way too! i dont know if its because im comparing myself to them or what, but females my age make me the most nervous of all.
Last edited:
I struggle horribly around women, but its because I am so self conscious of what women will be thinking of how I look - I just feel when I am speaking face to face with some girl/woman that she will be looking at me thinking I am ugly which makes me so self conscious being looked at, and that makes me so anxious.
I think another problem is that if you like a girl and at the same time you think negatively of yourself or believe others judge you negatively then you feel an inferiority complex and feel inadequate and not good enough. This can really drain your confidence around someone - which is the same as why people get anxious around authority.
I think when you have a crush on someone you place a high value on how nice they are, how desirable and attractive you are, and the bigger the gap between the value you place on yourself and someone else the more anxious I believe you get because of being self conscious and feeling inadequate/inferior.
That would suggest the answer is to build confidence in yourself and your self worth.
I think another problem is that if you like a girl and at the same time you think negatively of yourself or believe others judge you negatively then you feel an inferiority complex and feel inadequate and not good enough. This can really drain your confidence around someone - which is the same as why people get anxious around authority.
I think when you have a crush on someone you place a high value on how nice they are, how desirable and attractive you are, and the bigger the gap between the value you place on yourself and someone else the more anxious I believe you get because of being self conscious and feeling inadequate/inferior.
That would suggest the answer is to build confidence in yourself and your self worth.
This is exactly what i was trying to explain, i feel the same way.
DanFC
Well-known member
I'm terrified of women, but I've been so afraid of them for so long I have a guise now where I just seem like some guy who is emotionally blocked off from everyone and doesn't want to have anything to do with anybody. It makes me feel better when I'm sulking afterward as I think "at least they saw me as some macho guy", but nevertheless, I'm always alone.
Im afraid of women too and Im a woman.
I think women should stick together and all, and it makes me sad to see women friends drift apart or put eachother down etc,
so it makes me sad that I cant seem to find a good woman friend and feel comfortable in the company of my own sex.
I think women should stick together and all, and it makes me sad to see women friends drift apart or put eachother down etc,
so it makes me sad that I cant seem to find a good woman friend and feel comfortable in the company of my own sex.
aien89
Well-known member
I feel exactly the same! I can be very confordable around guys, even though I don't really know them but as soon as I meet an unfamiliar female I get so nervous!
Maybe it's because I feel like I have to show the best of me to have a chance to ever get a girlfriend - and that's a kind of pressure I put on myself without even knowing it.
Maybe it's because I feel like I have to show the best of me to have a chance to ever get a girlfriend - and that's a kind of pressure I put on myself without even knowing it.
Pookah
Well-known member
If we are talking just about the women/men with above average looks and such I think it makes sense people with SA are are more uncomfortable. The average person tends to want to be friendly (I hope.) My fears are more general and extend to the whole of the population I just don't want to feel like I look stupid or lesser in front of someone else.
ripewithdecay
Well-known member
I've been getting braver and talking to beautiful women in the past few months, and this one at work who i could say is a friend of mine now is a really fun and gorgeous chick. The problem is that being so alone all the time, I've grown infatuated with her and can't get her off my mind. It sucks, this happens every time, sucks being a male sometimes not being able to switch that **** off.
I get scared because of my lack of social skills. I know if I try to talk to a female I will slip up and sound like my intentions are not good. They may think I am trying to hit on them, they may think I feel I am better than them. My social skills suck terribly and the way I come off is always negative.
When dealing with men I can bear this fact because I dont give a **** if a man thinks Im an *******. But it hurts me bad if a female thinks Im a mean guy.
When dealing with men I can bear this fact because I dont give a **** if a man thinks Im an *******. But it hurts me bad if a female thinks Im a mean guy.