Afraid of females
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toothpastekisses
Well-known member
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Cruddy
Member
Ill tell you my story and hopefully it will help you. I am a female who has been very anxious around men all my life. Ive always felt more comfortable around women and almost all my friends have been women, up until now. If you met me you might not know I have social phobias because I come across as open, friendly and genuine. But that has only happened because of years of forcing myself to do things that made me uncomfortable. (I still dont like the phone though) Anyway, to get over my fear of men I decided to take a job doing production line work in a place that is 98% men. When I started I didnt know what to do so I just talked to the older men as they were less intimidating. One of my best assets and something that I use to make myself comfortable around people is humour. People think Im hilarious but its just a ruse to ease my fears. Its now 3 years later and my life has changed dramatically. I ended up becoming best friends with a girl who started there a year after me. She is extremely outgoing and all her friends are guys. By hanging with her I was able to watch how she acts and how guys react to her. It made me jealous alot but that jealousy pushed me into action. I now feel alot more comfortable flirting, touching, and opening up to men. I dont see all guys as a threat anymore and realize they are just people. It still is hard to deal with guys that Im attracted to but Im learning about that too. Its taking alot of patience with myself and I get very sad that I havent been with anyone in over 3 years. But the good thing is that in the meantime Ive been able to develop into the kind of person that I want to be. I had no idea before now that I was doing so many things wrong, socially that is, and now I have most of the puzzle pieces put together. If you can handle it then I suggest you immerse yourself in the female culture and befriend a guy who has lots of female friends. (not a guy who is a womanizer as that will just stress you out). Its quite a learning experience. Good luck dude. 
Dave_McFadden
Well-known member
Fear of Females. Hmmm. So, here's the story. I went to work the one morning a few weeks ago. I parked my car and started walking toward the building. I look over and out of the corner of my eye I see this woman out of the corner of my eye that I never saw before. I thought she was attractive, even though I wasn't in a position where I could stare. Anyway, they way we were situated, I got to the door first, and I was nervous about having her behind me. I could FEEL her disapproval on the back of my neck. The first thought that jumped into my mind was, I have to stand near her at the elevator, and I will be nervous. So that won't be fun. Hopefully I won't give it away too much. Good. So I get to the elevator, and press the button. I'm standing there about 15 seconds when she gets there. Meanwhile, I'm trying to do my best "waiting for the elevator" pose, where I don't really face anyone in particular, but I try not to look like I'm deliberately facing away from anyone. Anyway, I see that she comes over and looks at the button. I didn't get a good read on her facial expression, but she seemed a little puzzled, and I look down in time to see her press the up elevator button. In my nervousness I had pressed the DOWN elevator button! On the second floor!! Then, predictably, the down elevator came before the up one, so I stood there for a second thinking I should get on it and act like, in the words of Pee Wee Herman, "I meant to do that" but I figured that I would just look dumber and so I should just suck it up and get in the up elevator when it came. So the up elevator came, we got on, nothing happened, and I got off. And I was pissed at myself about it for the rest of the day. So WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? I'M THIRTY-FREAKING-EIGHT YEARS OLD! I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN OVER THIS SH*T A LONG TIME AGO!!! I CAN'T EVEN WAIT FOR AN ELEVATOR WITH AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN WITHOUT TAKING CONSTANT INVENTORY OF MY POSTURE, MY EXPRESSIONS, AND EVEN MY BREATHING!!! AND EVEN THEN I SCREW SOMETHING UP!!!
Okee dokee. Well. At least my beer understands....
Okee dokee. Well. At least my beer understands....
I get so nervous. It's not necessarily the talking part that makes it difficult for me. I'm more concerned about how I would be perceived (from the standpoint of a female). I'm so self-conscious, it's not even funny. I don't think someone would ever want to date me, until I corrected this problem.
Argamemnon
Well-known member
I have this with ALL people, male or female doesn't matter. That's a lot worse!Dave_McFadden said:
billy
Well-known member
I get more anxiety around girls i feel attractive too. I find older woman though to be the easiest to talk too. Older woman seem to be very outgoing and easy to talk too. That is what i actually did to help my start some conversation skills. I'm not funny at all but if i get a decent situation i could hold a small conversation in class. Anyone else feel this way about older woman?
typewriterx
Well-known member
Haha. Funny bits of conversation. :]
That is right on for me. It's not that I'm envious in a mean or hateful way. It's just the whole inadequacy thing. It's so intimidating. I feel like we both know that I'm way below them&there's not much of a point in trying. Then I don't talk to too many people because of this, and because I don't talk to people often, many people say that I come across snobby or intimidating. [HUGE shocker. Both of those are the farthest from the truth.] It's this endless cycle of suck.
&as for the opposite sex, this makes me sound incredibly lame, but I haven't even tried. Not a bit. &then I wonder why nobody approaches me or takes interest in me. [well, there's obviously a lot more reasons, but I'm well sure that my lack of trying contributes to it.]
Edith said:
That is right on for me. It's not that I'm envious in a mean or hateful way. It's just the whole inadequacy thing. It's so intimidating. I feel like we both know that I'm way below them&there's not much of a point in trying. Then I don't talk to too many people because of this, and because I don't talk to people often, many people say that I come across snobby or intimidating. [HUGE shocker. Both of those are the farthest from the truth.] It's this endless cycle of suck.
&as for the opposite sex, this makes me sound incredibly lame, but I haven't even tried. Not a bit. &then I wonder why nobody approaches me or takes interest in me. [well, there's obviously a lot more reasons, but I'm well sure that my lack of trying contributes to it.]
floridateen18
Member
I used to be HORRIFIED to speak to women, even though i grew up with 2 sisters and was raised by my mom most of my life. Well see, i had to deal with all of their bitching and PMS, and i was a shy kid and it only seemed like to me that when i would talk to them, they would PMS and yell and scream and complain, hence the fear of women began.
I thought of women as my enemy, i knew i had to find a mate in life sometime to start a family, but their was no way i wanted to deal with them so i avoided them for a long time, pretty much up until I was in 8th grade, and off and on in highshool I was still araid of them. I didnt really get over my fear of women until i seen that they arent that big of a threat to me.
My friends and i were daring, excitable and dangerous kids in my highschool years, (behind the scenes) so my friends were the girl crazy guys, they almost always had girls around them and they always flirted with every and any girl, even if she wasnt attractive, that was just their personality.
Years of being friends with these guys eventually rubbed off on me and I copyed them and learned how to be playful with girls and i got over the fear of women being complete you know whats all the time. I also realized that if you said the wrong words to a girl, you can easily piss her off... lol.
You would be surprised what you could say to a girl and not actually offend her, its not really what you say that matters, but how you say it. In my early days of copying my friends flirting skills, i noticed my responses just gave me blank stares and weird looks, becuase i wasnt delivering my playfulness with enough energy, or the wrong tone, or i was too serious and i didnt even realize it.
So trial and error eventually made me very comfortable around woman to the point where i could just talk to them in a serious conversation, or i could playfully tease them, or i could talk about mindless things like celeberates, dreams, and other miscelleneous information. I got to the point where i would walk up to any girl that looked intresting and i could confront her and get a giggle out of her, or just introduce myself and tell her she looks like an interesting person to talk to.
Hmm but then i got involved with marijauna and lost alot of my memory, which im slowly getting back, so recently i havent been out there on the dating scene, but you can bet your momma's betty crocket apron i will be once i get my life straghtened out again :lol: .
To all your guys out there, women may be intimidating to look at, but most of them are just as afraid of you as you are of them, and once u realize that women arent out there to turn you down, and that they are more fun to talk to then you think they are, you will progress in meeting girls and getting better at holding conversations... and most of the time girls dont really care what you talk about, they just like the attention.
I thought of women as my enemy, i knew i had to find a mate in life sometime to start a family, but their was no way i wanted to deal with them so i avoided them for a long time, pretty much up until I was in 8th grade, and off and on in highshool I was still araid of them. I didnt really get over my fear of women until i seen that they arent that big of a threat to me.
My friends and i were daring, excitable and dangerous kids in my highschool years, (behind the scenes) so my friends were the girl crazy guys, they almost always had girls around them and they always flirted with every and any girl, even if she wasnt attractive, that was just their personality.
Years of being friends with these guys eventually rubbed off on me and I copyed them and learned how to be playful with girls and i got over the fear of women being complete you know whats all the time. I also realized that if you said the wrong words to a girl, you can easily piss her off... lol.
You would be surprised what you could say to a girl and not actually offend her, its not really what you say that matters, but how you say it. In my early days of copying my friends flirting skills, i noticed my responses just gave me blank stares and weird looks, becuase i wasnt delivering my playfulness with enough energy, or the wrong tone, or i was too serious and i didnt even realize it.
So trial and error eventually made me very comfortable around woman to the point where i could just talk to them in a serious conversation, or i could playfully tease them, or i could talk about mindless things like celeberates, dreams, and other miscelleneous information. I got to the point where i would walk up to any girl that looked intresting and i could confront her and get a giggle out of her, or just introduce myself and tell her she looks like an interesting person to talk to.
Hmm but then i got involved with marijauna and lost alot of my memory, which im slowly getting back, so recently i havent been out there on the dating scene, but you can bet your momma's betty crocket apron i will be once i get my life straghtened out again :lol: .
To all your guys out there, women may be intimidating to look at, but most of them are just as afraid of you as you are of them, and once u realize that women arent out there to turn you down, and that they are more fun to talk to then you think they are, you will progress in meeting girls and getting better at holding conversations... and most of the time girls dont really care what you talk about, they just like the attention.
sleepysparrow
Well-known member
I'm afraid of females too, even though I am one.
no1
Banned
Natural selection incarnate as Woman. How much harder can it get for a man? They may also be so impressionable by the media and society and other men (who are just jerks tbh). Natural selection makes life seem so primitive. It's better to just deal with messed up people through genocide. It's just evolution. Sexual selection, and the animal kingdom. Males fight other males for their piece of the pie that is sustenance of life. Women are so sweet looking and innocent looking, and then a man with huge muscles and a sadistic kind of look. Women are made to believe they are masochist. People are both, yet don't even know it. The media and hidden authorities continue to brainwash people keeping them ignorant. Spiritual cultures make sex to be a gateway to heaven. Men think having a woman is the ULTIMATE proof of their existence. Just, wtf...
oh yeah and it is ingrained into your physiology to have sex (as well as other things). if you dont you will have health dysfunction...\
how much harder can it get for men? we are disposable. We are the burden carriers. We take so much F-ing sh*t and we are supposed to deal with it like we are superman. We can't have feelings, we can't complain, we have to be perfect.
edit: We men are expected to initiate everything, yet girls are the ones who have to be protected and it's NOT wrong to want approval first before making a move. Women are always taking the rides, being submissive. Why does being Male have to = strength and women = weakness? Come on, we are supposed to be in on this together. I am not going to force myself on a woman. I am not going to get all in your face because you couldn't get the obvious hints I was giving. "They" make us think we are not men if we are not aggressive enough. Or they just want everything to be initiated by the man. Wtf we are trying to be good. We might let them know with subtle hints that we like them, we wont be overly direct, but it seems women find overly aggressiveness to be sexy because it represents Strength because we need it for absolute desperate survival (as if we have to be so desperate for survival) and men who are ok with polyamoury because it means they are "sexually liberated" because as a survivalist that means you are ok with having multiple partners to reproduce as many offspring as possible, yet leaving the woman alone to fend for herself as many in the animal kingdom may do..
I sound crazy. maybe I am going crazy. the world seems so wicked.
oh yeah and it is ingrained into your physiology to have sex (as well as other things). if you dont you will have health dysfunction...\
how much harder can it get for men? we are disposable. We are the burden carriers. We take so much F-ing sh*t and we are supposed to deal with it like we are superman. We can't have feelings, we can't complain, we have to be perfect.
edit: We men are expected to initiate everything, yet girls are the ones who have to be protected and it's NOT wrong to want approval first before making a move. Women are always taking the rides, being submissive. Why does being Male have to = strength and women = weakness? Come on, we are supposed to be in on this together. I am not going to force myself on a woman. I am not going to get all in your face because you couldn't get the obvious hints I was giving. "They" make us think we are not men if we are not aggressive enough. Or they just want everything to be initiated by the man. Wtf we are trying to be good. We might let them know with subtle hints that we like them, we wont be overly direct, but it seems women find overly aggressiveness to be sexy because it represents Strength because we need it for absolute desperate survival (as if we have to be so desperate for survival) and men who are ok with polyamoury because it means they are "sexually liberated" because as a survivalist that means you are ok with having multiple partners to reproduce as many offspring as possible, yet leaving the woman alone to fend for herself as many in the animal kingdom may do..
I sound crazy. maybe I am going crazy. the world seems so wicked.
BelieverCheesie
New member
I am only afraid of females / nervous around girls. Other than female relatives and about half a dozen girls that are like sister, I am nervous around any girls roughly between the ages of 14 and 35. I don't know what it is, if I am around girls I get really nervous (especially girls I find attractive). Even looking at girls on TV or in magazines I get depressed and have this nervous feeling inside. I am a Christian and as we shouldn't look at girls lustfully, I get depressed when I see an attractive girl. I have been diagnosed with Social Phobia, OCPD, Anxiety and a bit of Aspergers. I get depressed that I will never have another girlfriend. In almost 30 years I have only had one girlfriend and I met her online. I have had a few girl-friends that I found attractive but I stuffed up the friendship. I tend to always say or do the wrong things. I have always been shy and I think I have always been nervous with girls.
TheLoneWolf
Well-known member
im afraid of hot ones or ones that im for some reason am attracted too. Life truly does suck sometimes
I have a problem with most women really. Alot of them are very social and outgoing, and have this same attitude of being closed off and "in their own world".
I have been able to speak to some really nice women with ease, some really attractive too. I think that some women are happy with themselves enough to include others and be happy in general. I feel at ease with them, and the pressure is off.
I feel pressure alot because most of the time i see women during the day, that look as if they have just dressed up for the nightclubs.....its a bit too much really, quite intimidating.
I'm much more welcoming to natural beauty.
I have been able to speak to some really nice women with ease, some really attractive too. I think that some women are happy with themselves enough to include others and be happy in general. I feel at ease with them, and the pressure is off.
I feel pressure alot because most of the time i see women during the day, that look as if they have just dressed up for the nightclubs.....its a bit too much really, quite intimidating.
I'm much more welcoming to natural beauty.
I try not to, but its a bit like when you see a person in a prison outfit on, you can only think one thing, you associate certain mental attributes to them.
Argh, my mind just plays havok on me and stops me from living. I am too afraid to go out really, because i find most women are really attractive.