Afraid of change?

M

man on the hill

Well-known member
Does anyone else feel like they are afraid of change, major or minor, in their lives? it seems im that way, its hard for me to change the way I am and the way I do things in my daily life. Its like my life has been stuck on "repeat" week after week, month after month for the past several years. im 24, still live at home, still single, work monday through friday and usually dont do anything worth mentioning on the weekends, almost just a waste of my spare time you could say. the guys at work ask me why dont I ever go out and do things, get a girl friend, party, etc., and I usually cant ever give a straight answer, just a "I dont know" most of the time. Ive been told that I better start getting out and doing stuff cause im gonna look back later on when im older and realize that I wasted one of the best times of my life by just sitting at the house. Honestly I dont know why I am like I am. maybe its because I think its just easier and simplier to just never go out and do anything different from my regular routine. I do get lonely very often and usually it leads me to feeling down and depressed about my self for a couple days during the week. and that in turns leads to just lower and lower self esteem to the point where now I feel so worthless that I dont even have the urge or will to even try to look for a girlfriend cause I feel like im just useless and a nobody and why would any girl want to go with me. if you seen me or knew me in person, you would think "how in the hell is this guy still single?" sorry for the long rant, I just needed to get this off my mind, I dont really express myself like this too often, even online on a forum like this.
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
There are loads of people who crave structure and a specific routine; and if the routine is broken, they become overwhelmed and freak out because they can't accept the change.
I think that may just be the way some people work.

It could also very well be a symptom of O.C.D in many ways.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
i feel i need to change

i WANT to change

and yet i avoid making the changes i need and want to make

and so nothing gets better

it just gets worse, really
 
Ragle

Ragle

Active member
I can relate to everything you said. I'm 23 and I don't even have a job (I'm still struggling to get my diploma from university although I know how worthless it is). My mom and everyone I know tells me to get a job, a girlfriend but I don't know what I want. I think I had a different picture of myself and now I realize nothing makes sense. I regret the bad choices I made until now, especially the uni I picked and I know I should let go. I just can't. And I'm depressed almost all the time. I think moving out of parents home can be an important step. (An example regarding my situation is that my mother criticises me all the time, in every little thing I do, she acts like her way is the only way and there is only black and white. I tried to be laid back and not care but every time she gets me down. Heh she has some problems as well but she doesn't want to change I think. I need to get out, this is all I know).
We need to keep trying, until when I don't know. What the hell are we doing here? I just can't understand..
 
Dead_on_Arrival

Dead_on_Arrival

Well-known member
Welcome to my world. I hate change, always have. For most of my life it was unavoidable due to my fathers work. I have lived on 18 homes and went through 7 different schools. The only time I was relativley happy was in the army where everything was structured, but then I hated it because of the social side of it.
Wierdy is right, it does sound like OCD, but I would say that as I have a biased view due to me having OCD.
 
S

Steppen-Wolf

Well-known member
Even the smallest change in my routine makes me anxious.

That's why I decided to force myself to change; I'm moving to another city to live alone, I've told my family my plans as to make it a lot harder to back away from them.

I know that once I find myself living by myself I'll be really scared : P... But there won't be any "safe zone" to retreat into anymore, because everything will be new.
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
Being afraid of change is like being afraid of dying, it's pretty much (change) always going to happen, it's inevitable, best thing to do is try to embrace it. Yeah, easier said. :/
 
T

thor01

Well-known member
I REALLY.........HATE it!

Unless its a change I WANT. Which will only be minor things, like how I go about recording music haha.

I DON'T want to chnge myself, even with my "flaws". It just feels to wrong.

occaisional "Depersonalization" doesnt help this. And makes me more defensive.

And I hate change in routine as I am facing now by attempting university but finding on the first day I much prefer the feel of my old course already, at lower level.

It feels like a weird dream atm. And I will quit if it gets really bad, I think.
 
Section_31

Section_31

Well-known member
Im the same way. I have a hard time going to a new restaurant, ora new clothing store. Im very stuck in my ways and i become very anxious when i try any of these.

I also become terrified and paralyzed at the thought of visiting another country, as silly as this is. Ive never been outside of canada. I dont know what it is, and i cant explain it. My wife's anxiety is worse in day to day things yet she can go to israel by herself (but with a university group) and still enjoy herself, but for me that kinda thing paralyzes me.
 
M

man on the hill

Well-known member
honestly though, theres nothing really physically holding me back from going out and having a good time and making an enjoyable, pleasurable, social life for myself. I have plenty of money, a good stable job that I still enjoy going to everyday, my own transportation. and as for myself, Im not really too bad looking, just an average looking guy I guess you could say, although I dont consider myself my self to be "hot or cute" or anything like that. im about 5'7 and 145lbs, been working out and lifting weights to try and bulk myself up cause ive always felt so small compared to alot of other guys I know. I guess its just all in my head thats just holding me back, maybe someday I will break though the wall and join the rest of the world ::eek::
 
A

Agent_Violet

Well-known member
Mess with my routine and get a hot poker in yer eye.

:D

i love change but only when i'm the one making the change. if someone else suddenly flips the script and changes my routine for me...i freak out.
 
D

da_illest101

Well-known member
I feel the same, i'm also 24 and lives with my parents. I hate change which is kinda odd for someone who wants to be a graphic designer. I rarely go out because I don't want to. Every time there is change in my life it only end making more depressed
 
Predacon

Predacon

Well-known member
I'm pretty much a creature of routine, not in an OCD way, but if things change I do worry because it means getting out my comfort zone.
 
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