A problem with cashiers
- Thread starter wise_wind
- Start date
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Yes people interaction as a SA sufferer sucks.
I certainly understand SA very well as I have the more severe form of it.
I stand by my first comment on this.
If you get tired of being SA's whipping boy/girl, then you can actually use the cashier as a chance to improve and get used to small interactions with people.
You just have to remember that 99% of people - cashiers included - don't give a crap about you or your life.
I certainly understand SA very well as I have the more severe form of it.
I stand by my first comment on this.
If you get tired of being SA's whipping boy/girl, then you can actually use the cashier as a chance to improve and get used to small interactions with people.
You just have to remember that 99% of people - cashiers included - don't give a crap about you or your life.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
Thinking you may or probably know what others might be thinking is a classic trait of SA. 'Mind reading' is truly unhelpful, self destructive and only feeds the SA monkey on your back.
It's one of the best things you can do , to stop thinking what others might be thinking. :thumbup:
Kiwong
Well-known member
I know, I am testing my thoughts all the time, and I am getting quite good at it.
More of a problem is what I have heard people say. Weird, strange, head job. Like I said I need to manage the importance I place on what ignorant shits say to me. No mind reading there :thumbup:
Kiwong
Well-known member
I agree Sacrament, it is a matter of managing the importance placed on those things over time. Even those simple interactions can be huge for a SA sufferer.
I suppose the irrational fear to be tested is "They will think I am abnormal if I don't look." The answer that most cashiers don't notice someone not looking is reassuring, and logically what does it matter what a stranger like a cashier thinks of you.
Jungle
1
wise_wind ,don't fool yourself into thinking that there's an etiquette for everything.
If you feel uncomfortable when being looked at, then I think that feeling nervous when doing the same to people is more than understandable.
Think about what would happen if you looked at that cashier: would he call the security on you? insult you? keep the change for himself against your will? certainly not.
You'll realize that things are as frightening as they seem to be.
Personally I would just think about the change that I am about to be given, because looking at someone tends to make me lose my focus.
If you feel uncomfortable when being looked at, then I think that feeling nervous when doing the same to people is more than understandable.
Think about what would happen if you looked at that cashier: would he call the security on you? insult you? keep the change for himself against your will? certainly not.
You'll realize that things are as frightening as they seem to be.
Personally I would just think about the change that I am about to be given, because looking at someone tends to make me lose my focus.
I'm a cashier, and honestly, I don't even consider that slightly rude as long as you actually respond to the cashier when they ask you questions. Some people just flat out ignore you (and it's easy to pick up on whether they're deaf/can't speak). "Hey, how are you today?" *silence* "Did you find everything?" *silence* "Do you want this in a bag?" "NO." "Have a good day." Silence. This is one of my least favorite customers, honestly.
I get customers who I senese may have social anxiety, but it's never the quiet ones. For some reason, it's just the people who have a need to say something to fill the silence, talk quickly, loudly, and laugh nervously A LOT. I try my best to make these people feel normal by pretending not to notice and chatting about random stuff
The quiet SA are really hard to detect because really, there's a lot of people who won't say much if anything. You almost even expect most customers to be a little shy in some regard because cashing people out is just kind of awkward in itself. Like, "Oh, hey stranger. Allow me to take a few or several minutes drawing the items you use in your home over this peice of technology and to place them in different bags, for which you'll pay me a lot of cash for. And by the way, you have to stand in close proximity to me while I do it." I mean, awkward.
I get customers who I senese may have social anxiety, but it's never the quiet ones. For some reason, it's just the people who have a need to say something to fill the silence, talk quickly, loudly, and laugh nervously A LOT. I try my best to make these people feel normal by pretending not to notice and chatting about random stuff
The quiet SA are really hard to detect because really, there's a lot of people who won't say much if anything. You almost even expect most customers to be a little shy in some regard because cashing people out is just kind of awkward in itself. Like, "Oh, hey stranger. Allow me to take a few or several minutes drawing the items you use in your home over this peice of technology and to place them in different bags, for which you'll pay me a lot of cash for. And by the way, you have to stand in close proximity to me while I do it." I mean, awkward.
kihira
1
I honestly prefer a cashier who only asks essential questions and puts the groceries through as quickly as they can. I will probably have been waiting in line for several minutes already and need to be somewhere doing something else. The idea of chit-chat at the checkout has not always been, its something that management has pushed onto employees and it mostly comes off as fake
Sorry, Stargirl, your post prompted me to have another rant, so I've copy/pasted your cashier talk, but its a rant at supermarkets in general, not at you
"Hey, how are you today?" This is a terrible question to ask a stranger who's having a bad day, yet it happens all the time. How are you supposed to reply, as there is only one acceptable way? "Did you find everything?" Is this a standard question? thankfully this question hasn't appeared in this country yet, what happens if you say no, do they send you to the back of the line "Do you want this in a bag?" This is an ok question if there's only a couple of items, but I have been asked it when I'm standing there with my own bag open, or when there's obviously too many things not to need one. Plus, Coles and Woolies, don't pretend you're saving the planet by asking, when you're a supermarket full of environmentally unsound products and packaging "Have a good day." This awful American phrase is here to stay, I'm afraid
Sorry, Stargirl, your post prompted me to have another rant, so I've copy/pasted your cashier talk, but its a rant at supermarkets in general, not at you
"Hey, how are you today?" This is a terrible question to ask a stranger who's having a bad day, yet it happens all the time. How are you supposed to reply, as there is only one acceptable way? "Did you find everything?" Is this a standard question? thankfully this question hasn't appeared in this country yet, what happens if you say no, do they send you to the back of the line
"Do you want this in a bag?" This is an ok question if there's only a couple of items, but I have been asked it when I'm standing there with my own bag open, or when there's obviously too many things not to need one. Plus, Coles and Woolies, don't pretend you're saving the planet by asking, when you're a supermarket full of environmentally unsound products and packaging "Have a good day." This awful American phrase is here to stay, I'm afraid
Metal_isthe_Answer
Well-known member
And as someone whos worked in those types of jobs, they dont care if you dont look at them, in fact the quicker you leave the more they like you a lot of times.
Around here they completely removed self checkouts, I guess we had to many thefts to make having them justifiable
dannyboy65
Well-known member
When I see a cashier I take it as an opportunity to practice my social skills. Me being a cashier I rarely talk to the customers, but on occasion will if they want to chat.
BlueDays
1
^ Management have recently demanded that the cashiers were I do my grocery shopping now have to ask the customer "How has your day been so far"?
I have found that just saying a single word reply ("ok") and not looking at them when I say it, is usually enough to stop them right there and make it clear I don't want to talk.
One day I was so exhausted and cranky (had a bad day) I actually shocked myself and came straight out with "horrible!"
(never done that again
)
greenglowbindi
New member
Cashiers are expected to deal with a wide range of people. Even folks who look distracted. It's totally ok to not make eye contact. They are there to help you, not the other way around.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:
QUOTE=kihira;826293]I honestly prefer a cashier who only asks essential questions and puts the groceries through as quickly as they can. I will probably have been waiting in line for several minutes already and need to be somewhere doing something else. The idea of chit-chat at the checkout has not always been, its something that management has pushed onto employees and it mostly comes off as fake
Sorry, Stargirl, your post prompted me to have another rant, so I've copy/pasted your cashier talk, but its a rant at supermarkets in general, not at you
"Hey, how are you today?" This is a terrible question to ask a stranger who's having a bad day, yet it happens all the time. How are you supposed to reply, as there is only one acceptable way? "Did you find everything?" Is this a standard question? thankfully this question hasn't appeared in this country yet, what happens if you say no, do they send you to the back of the line "Do you want this in a bag?" This is an ok question if there's only a couple of items, but I have been asked it when I'm standing there with my own bag open, or when there's obviously too many things not to need one. Plus, Coles and Woolies, don't pretend you're saving the planet by asking, when you're a supermarket full of environmentally unsound products and packaging "Have a good day." This awful American phrase is here to stay, I'm afraid[/QUOTE]
Interesting - while I respect your opinions - I feel very differently about this myself. I see the small talk as a way to show you care about the person, even though you might not be particularly interested in every conversation. Even if I could care less about what someone's telling me, I usually geniunely enjoy upkeeping a small positive chit chat. It doesn't mean I'm fake. Obviously that's not true for all cashiers though. Honestly, it comes down to the individual. But really, I don't think anyone feels that forced by management to do small talk. People do what they feel like.
I'm surprised you don't like the how are you thing. Are you not from the US? Americans expect that you probably will not answer honestly if you are having a bad day. The question is really a way to show that you care about another person, even though you probably can't help them with their life struggles in the small time you interact together. As a cashier, I've had some people tell me they weren't having a good day or that they've just lost a loved one. It's a little awkward, but you just try to offer your sympathy and condolences if that's the case. For the most part, everyone says, "I'm good".
The whole "did you find everything?" is not as common as "How are you?", but it's still pretty popular. At my store, if someone says no - we have an employee get the item they couldn't find or allow the customer to get it after we tell them where it is. I mainly ask this myself because it reminds a lot of people that they forgot to get XYZ. Extra trips to the store are annoying, so I try to prevent that for them - haha.
I ask the bag thing for certain things like a plastic bag of potatoes or a half gallon of milk. A lot of people don't want to waste the plastic either - or just plain don't want to deal with it. I hear all about it. But yeah, I do feel good saving the planet a little too ;o)
I find it interesting that you don't like the "Have a good day" part. To me, it's just part of wishing another person well - and saying you care even if you don't know the person. It's just something about being seen as important to others that make people feel good - which is why we use the phrase. As it impersonal as it might seem, it's probably my favorite thing to say because I get to impart a positive feeling to someone's life who I might not otherwise be able to affect. I like helping people feel better. It's probably a lot to do with the loneliness and sadness I experience with SA and depression.
When it comes down to it - it's all about the interaction you personally prefer. Not everyone wants the cashier who wants to have small talk and ask these questions. Some people want a quiet, quick moving cashier. Customers are all very different - which I why I tend to ask questions myself. Some people make it a point not to even sit a loaf of bread on their eggs while others while pile stuff on a carton of eggs.
I almost really even can't help the small talk myself - haha. I'm one of those people who feel really pressured by the silence and I feel like I'm being stared at. Even though I'm a cashier, my SA is still pretty bad. So yeah, I chat about the weather 8 million times a day and ask what kind of dog you have if you're buying dog food. The cashier is a person too - they have comfort zones too.
And like you said to me - this isn't a rant at you. I just wanted to express my personal feelings It's really tough being a cashier with SA - but I feel very passionate about my job and quality service. I recognize that this holds different meanings for different people though.
Sorry, Stargirl, your post prompted me to have another rant, so I've copy/pasted your cashier talk, but its a rant at supermarkets in general, not at you
"Hey, how are you today?" This is a terrible question to ask a stranger who's having a bad day, yet it happens all the time. How are you supposed to reply, as there is only one acceptable way? "Did you find everything?" Is this a standard question? thankfully this question hasn't appeared in this country yet, what happens if you say no, do they send you to the back of the line
"Do you want this in a bag?" This is an ok question if there's only a couple of items, but I have been asked it when I'm standing there with my own bag open, or when there's obviously too many things not to need one. Plus, Coles and Woolies, don't pretend you're saving the planet by asking, when you're a supermarket full of environmentally unsound products and packaging "Have a good day." This awful American phrase is here to stay, I'm afraid[/QUOTE]Interesting - while I respect your opinions - I feel very differently about this myself. I see the small talk as a way to show you care about the person, even though you might not be particularly interested in every conversation. Even if I could care less about what someone's telling me, I usually geniunely enjoy upkeeping a small positive chit chat. It doesn't mean I'm fake. Obviously that's not true for all cashiers though. Honestly, it comes down to the individual. But really, I don't think anyone feels that forced by management to do small talk. People do what they feel like.
I'm surprised you don't like the how are you thing. Are you not from the US? Americans expect that you probably will not answer honestly if you are having a bad day. The question is really a way to show that you care about another person, even though you probably can't help them with their life struggles in the small time you interact together. As a cashier, I've had some people tell me they weren't having a good day or that they've just lost a loved one. It's a little awkward, but you just try to offer your sympathy and condolences if that's the case. For the most part, everyone says, "I'm good".
The whole "did you find everything?" is not as common as "How are you?", but it's still pretty popular. At my store, if someone says no - we have an employee get the item they couldn't find or allow the customer to get it after we tell them where it is. I mainly ask this myself because it reminds a lot of people that they forgot to get XYZ. Extra trips to the store are annoying, so I try to prevent that for them - haha.
I ask the bag thing for certain things like a plastic bag of potatoes or a half gallon of milk. A lot of people don't want to waste the plastic either - or just plain don't want to deal with it. I hear all about it. But yeah, I do feel good saving the planet a little too ;o)
I find it interesting that you don't like the "Have a good day" part. To me, it's just part of wishing another person well - and saying you care even if you don't know the person. It's just something about being seen as important to others that make people feel good - which is why we use the phrase. As it impersonal as it might seem, it's probably my favorite thing to say because I get to impart a positive feeling to someone's life who I might not otherwise be able to affect. I like helping people feel better. It's probably a lot to do with the loneliness and sadness I experience with SA and depression.
When it comes down to it - it's all about the interaction you personally prefer. Not everyone wants the cashier who wants to have small talk and ask these questions. Some people want a quiet, quick moving cashier. Customers are all very different - which I why I tend to ask questions myself. Some people make it a point not to even sit a loaf of bread on their eggs while others while pile stuff on a carton of eggs.
I almost really even can't help the small talk myself - haha. I'm one of those people who feel really pressured by the silence and I feel like I'm being stared at. Even though I'm a cashier, my SA is still pretty bad. So yeah, I chat about the weather 8 million times a day and ask what kind of dog you have if you're buying dog food. The cashier is a person too - they have comfort zones too.
And like you said to me - this isn't a rant at you. I just wanted to express my personal feelings
It's really tough being a cashier with SA - but I feel very passionate about my job and quality service. I recognize that this holds different meanings for different people though.
Ransfordrowe
Well-known member
Hi there.Most cashiers are not sensitive people so their feelings are not easily hurt.Often the anxious make more out of situations than the people involved who often dont think anything of it.
Actually, in my country , cashiers don't say Hi to their customers. Its like a norm here. But I do say thank you when receiving my change back. Just that I don't look at them when saying thanks, instead I just look at the change. It helps to keep my anxiety at bay.
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I live in a very populated city. The population density here is 7713.14 people per sq. km. (Very shocking rite!
) So, everywhere I go, I'm faced with many, many people. No escape from it. The supermarket I go to is very crowded with people most of the time.Thank you very much for your replies guys. Like you have mentioned, I shouldn't really be bothering about what the cashier thinks about me.
Actually, I have more issues like this to discuss with you guys in other future threads. I find that by discussing and reading your rational replies, it helps me feel better and overcome the problem. Hope you guys dun mind.
Like you have mentioned, I shouldn't really be bothering about what the cashier thinks about me.Actually, I have more issues like this to discuss with you guys in other future threads. I find that by discussing and reading your rational replies, it helps me feel better and overcome the problem. Hope you guys dun mind.
SeleneHellena
New member
Let me tell you a secret no cashier really want you to look at them or talk to them. Any verbal interaction they may do is because they are paid for it not because they want to. I was a cashier for 3 years ( terrible times of my life) and all i wanted was to people get away without interacting with me. All that fake chat makes me sick. Do not worry you are any cashier fav custoner. Trust me