a few questions about making friends online

[megalon]

I've read through a few posts on here where people mention that they have online friends that they have never met face to face. I was wondering how and where one might seek to make friends online. I have a few coworkers that I consider friends, but at the end of every day when work is over I am friendless again.
On a similar note, I was also considering joining an online dating site. At the moment I'm too afraid that someone I know would see me on there but I think I could probably stand up to that fear. How many other SA sufferers have tried online dating and has there been any success? Are there features of some online dating sites that make them better than others for people like us?

 

[nopark]

I make friends online by joining communities like this. I've already made a few friends here, despite only joining about a week ago. So try to Google for other forums that fit interests of yours (sports, cars, etc).

Communities with a chat room are great for meeting people because you can just chip in whenever you want -- there's no awkwardness of having to actually start up a dialogue one-on-one like you would if you were just sending private messages or emails. Since everyones in the same room, it's just chitchat and banter.

You could also try finding an IRC chatroom, though some consider IRC to be more "geeky." But there are thousands of them. Try finding one.

I can't comment on the online dating stuff since I've never done it. I'm afraid that I'd disappoint whoever might happen to actually want to meet me.

 

[SpLynx]

I had accounts on several dating sites and I dont understand why you would be afraid if someone you know would see you there. It is normal. Most of my friends had accounts in such sites and even found their other halves. I met my husband in internet but not in a dating site because I think people there are weird : D not shy or SA weird but other way like putting `sexy` photos and writing in their hobbies - parties, night clubs, bars. They are lame people. I met my husband in a music sharing program.

 

[bimbo45]

I've read through a few posts on here where people mention that they have online friends that they have never met face to face. I was wondering how and where one might seek to make friends online. I have a few coworkers that I consider friends, but at the end of every day when work is over I am friendless again.
On a similar note, I was also considering joining an online dating site. At the moment I'm too afraid that someone I know would see me on there but I think I could probably stand up to that fear. How many other SA sufferers have tried online dating and has there been any success? Are there features of some online dating sites that make them better than others for people like us?

Well i have tryed a lot of datig agencies and lost a lot of money joining them. My view now is, if your shy you have no chance. That is what i think!. Could be different for other people.

 

[Jin]

there`s nothing wrong in joining online dating or having friends on the net... in fact i have more friends in the net than in real life.... and i treat my friends online like they are always here by my side...its all about give and take...

 

[Shift]

I usually meet online friends in forums, like this one. I have one real life friend that I talk to on IM a lot and she usually ends up adding random people that she's met online to our conversations, so I've met some online friends that way too.

I've recently joined an online dating site (it's OkCupid.com, which is pretty good for a free one. Better than plentyoffish.com, which I didn't like at all). It's working out pretty well for me. So far I haven't run into anyone who I know already (although there was one guy who said he's seen me around our college before, but I had no idea who he was). And I actually went on a date last Wednesday (my first in about 4 years) and we're going out again on Friday...

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

My mom met her husband through match.com, and they are married, been together for about 7yrs now. So I would say try it!!!

 

[Avarak]

This forum is a good place to start, if someone has their AIM in their profile then just IM them, saying you're from the SA forums, etc....

I've had a few online friends from World of Warcraft.

 

[megalon]

So I decided to try the online dating thing. Do I write anything about my anxiety problems in my profile? I would think that would drive girls away but I don't want to be insincere. Maybe I'm not ready for this.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I wouldn't suggest the dating-site route. Any girls that I've met IRL from the internet were people I met on regular forums.

Those dating sites are scary. I've had too many friends tell me too many horror stories about Mat*h.com and places like that. It's like 9 maniacs to every 1 sane person.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

So I decided to try the online dating thing. Do I write anything about my anxiety problems in my profile? I would think that would drive girls away but I don't want to be insincere. Maybe I'm not ready for this.

Don't headline yourself as having issues. Everyone has some sort of issues after all. I don't think you should write about anxiety problems in your profile.

That's the sort of thing you'd want mention as you're getting to know them, like probably before actually going out on a date with them.

I've gotten dates from dating sites, but no real relationships. Still, I know I could be putting in a lot more effort. I'd say it's sure worth trying.

 

[northernlywest]

I would say to anyone on here, definetly give it a go. You have nothing to lose.

I tried it in 2007 and was one of the lucky ones. I met a fantastic guy and been with him 2 years now. He is my soulmate. I would never have met him in real life, but a dating site made it possible. I went on there expecting nothing and came off very very happy, so even if you think it's not possible, it is totally possible. I'm proof of that

 

[northernlywest]

One word of warning though, as someone mentioned earlier, it's best not to give too much away, not until you have started to get on well with someone - then if you want anything to happen then you can start telling him / her about yourself more

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I agree... be careful if you're trying to get on the online dating scene. I've been on several dating sites including the ones that others have mentioned already and so far I've only gotten three message back from anyone I've sent messages to girls to in the 9 months I've been on. All three turned out to be a scammers asking for money that completely fooled me... :/

I've read various statistics about that, basically saying that since women tend to receive a lot more messages than men, men can expect back a response about 1/10 (or worse) times that they send a message.

Apparently it has to do with guys being more likely to spam a lot of girls with messages rather than actually focusing on one at a time--it seems it's quite common for a guy not to even read a girl's profile.

Just don't take it personally when you don't get a response, and make sure it's obvious in your message that you're not just spamming.

 

[Shift]

So I decided to try the online dating thing. Do I write anything about my anxiety problems in my profile? I would think that would drive girls away but I don't want to be insincere. Maybe I'm not ready for this.

I just wrote that I was shy on my profile and left it at that. I didn't say anything about my anxiety or that I'm seeing a therapist. (I told this one guy though because he asked me to tell him something personal about me and I knew he was expecting dirty sex stories so I wanted to disappoint him... I have a weird sense of humor)

 

[zharl]

I've never done online dating, but as far as dating goes, I've found that it's a bit of a lofty first goal to set. I would start with friendships if I were you, and through friends you meet other people; other people who might be dating material. In other words, start with one thing at a time; friends and then maybe move on to relationships. Then again, what do I know? XD

 

[Darker Than Black]

i don't like making friends online, don't know how i guess, i ran out of things to say, but i'll have something to say when face to face, online is kinda boring

 

[Nack]

Having "friends" online doesn't mean a thing to me... at the end of the day, they're still strangers to me. And the fact is... they can't be substitute for real life friends. Also, i agree with Darker, online is kinda boring...