A day in the life of avoidant personality disorder?

[Thelostone]

I know for a fact that i have social anxiety very bad, but looking at the symptoms for avoidant personality disorder make me very anxious as to wether i might have it or not...

For instance when Im talking to people i dont know very well i dont know how to interact with them I feel as if i am a different species as them or something. I find myself just staring at people and wondering things about them a lot. I dont know how to respond very well or be able to hold a long conversation without over thinking everything/if at all. I avoid people constantly. Im SO sensitive to rejection and things alongthose lines.
but could this just be my SA?





can anyone tell me what it is like a day in the life of this disorder?

 

[Scooter]

Isolating. Bit of a difficult question to answer. Can you be more specific?

 

[206Raider]

Oh I know, I can be pretty avoidant at times but I don't know if I have AvPD when I'm at places I try to interact but I'm not very good at keeping conversations going. I know it feels like your a martian sometimes among other people and it can be deflating to feel that way. If you avoid a lot, I'm not going to lie it's depressing if your isolated, and feelings of hopelessness definitly been there.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I bet that most people with anxiety problems aren't completely under the umbrella of any one disorder, especially when so many of them seem to share identical symptoms.

I don't know if I have avoidant personality disorder, I only know that I avoid most social interaction like the plague because they make me so anxious and paranoid. If that's the criteria, sign me up as well.

 

[El_Pajaro]

I agree with you FountainandFairfax...

I also use to consider all these other possible disorders for myself...pile on more things that are wrong with me...but eventually I noticed alot of the symptoms/problems were the same. the anxiety is always there.

 

[Dionysus]

If theres one thing I can pinpoint that caused all the mess in my life associated with anxiety and SA itd have to be this : Avoidance. (It just makes ur problems snowball =\ and seem bigger than they appear.)

 

[DarkSeeker]

For a second there I thought I made the op of this thread. Looking at others truly makes me feel like I'm coming from another world too.

Of course no one here is able to make real diagnosis online, so that's why I think only focusing on the symptoms is the best thing to do. Really they are the true roots of our problems and not some magical labels like avpd, sad, etc.

 

[Emily_G]

I hide a lot, come out when I either think people are leaving or when I think people will find it weird....I mostly hide in the bathroom at church or in the audio booth (when DH does audio). Church is really the only place I go. I don't care about places like the grocery store, etc.

 

[skygazer]

I am overly sensitive to rejection from people whom i depend on.. for example i have moved to stay with one of my friend who has turned cold and bitter towards me over time.. i try to be warm and friendly with him but all he does is find faults with me.. im deeply hurt by him putting me down. Only recently i gathered courage to speak up to him and counter his accusations. But manier times he gets me and i am caught off guard. Also as i am not as thick skinned as him, i think i make a big deal out of it and try to avoid his company as much as possible. But it still feels weird as i stay in his own house and use his stuff.

 

[MaxineRyder]

Thats so interesting. Reading your description was like reading about myself. I didnt realise it was a personality disorder, but that makes sense. Where can i learn more about this condition?
Maxine xx

 

[socialphobic38]

I may be overgeneralizing but i would guess most people with SA avoid to an extent. Obviously you have to avoid to a certain degree to get diagnosed with APD. There are defiinitely some situations where i avoid things

 

[Ritta]

I got this from Wikipedia.

Avoidant personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

AvPD Signs and Symptoms:

Hypersensitivity to criticism or rejection
Extreme shyness or social anxiety in social situations
Avoids physical contact because it's been associated with a painful stimulus
Avoids interpersonal relationships
Feelings of inadequacy
Severe low self-esteem
Self-loathing
Mistrust of others
Emotional distancing related to intimacy
Highly self-conscious
Self-critical about their problems relating to others
Problems in occupational functioning
Lonely self-perception
Feeling inferior to others
In some more extreme cases-- Agoraphobia
Utilizes fantasy as a form of escapism and to interrupt painful thoughts
Susceptibility to substance abuse as a way of escapism.

I have every single symptom except for the substance abuse. I suppose I too suffer from AvPD. I'll ask my counselor about it next week. ::

 

[Tiercel]

AvPD Signs and Symptoms:

Hypersensitivity to criticism or rejection
Extreme shyness or social anxiety in social situations
Avoids interpersonal relationships
Feelings of inadequacy
Severe low self-esteem
Self-loathing
Emotional distancing related to intimacy
Highly self-conscious
Self-critical about their problems relating to others
Problems in occupational functioning
Lonely self-perception
Feeling inferior to others
Utilizes fantasy as a form of escapism and to interrupt painful thoughts

Those are the ones that describe me perfectly. As for a day in my life....

I wake up late, since there's no real reason for me to wake up early. I stay at home all day, only occasionally interacting with my dog or my brother (currently unemployed). Then I either read or piddle around on the computer until Mom & Dad get home from work. After a few hours of putting up with them, I finally get to stay up late all by myself. Though I'm not entirely alone, as I usually spend my time on here.

But just the thought of looking for a job is enough to screw with my sleep and my stomach. I mean, who's going to hire a 29-year old who hasn't worked a real job in years? I walk the dog a few times, so at least I get out of the house. And as much as I love my family, most of the time I'd just rather not have to deal with them. So I end up staying up all night just so I don't have to interact with anyone. I usually crawl into bed around dawn, before anyone wakes up.

On the occasions that I go out, I get myself to not worry about how people may judge me by convincing myself that I'm already crap. So the worst that they'll do is realize exactly that. And once a week I get together with some friends and play some sort of roleplaying game. And even though I show up, I don't say all too much. I'm afraid I'll say something stupid, or only come up with a bad idea. Or I'll worry that my breath stinks when it doesn't, or that I'll stink (even though I always get a shower right before heading over there). Most times I enjoy the company of their idiotic pit bull more than theirs, because all he cares about is whether I give him lots of attention or not.

So mine is a rather lonely existence. As much as I'd love to get a job and even find a girlfriend, just the thought of putting myself out there for evaluation by anyone scares the poop out of me. I actually wrote down a few lines about it back in January. But like most things in my life, it lies unfinished....

For years I've struggled to break free, to overcome this spell.
I drown as sadness fills my heart, and dreams die unfulfilled
I'll search out hopes and joys in what faint instances I can
Such sorrow, grief, and idleness; 'tis no life for a man

So that's my life. I may seem cheery and talkative on this site, but in person I'm usually quiet, apathetic, and extremely critical of myself. I really try hard not to get too down about it, though.
::

 

[Sial Axetder]

Uneventful at the very best. Although I go undiagnosed, due to a family trait of stubbornness, I can easily match up with that list. Tiercel, I can relate. Fortunately, I was able to land a job. Bad part: the job deals 70% or more of the time with people. I was forced to, I don't know, become two? It's still hard to return emotional expressions, though. Why do people need to smile so much?

 

[boosh]

yeah i think avoidance is part of social anxiety anyway. at school if i see someone in a classroom through the window i'm about to walk into who i don't know too well, i deliberately don't go in. sometimes i just wait in a cubicle in the school toilet for like half an hour not knowing what to do or where to go. :/

 

[davidecl]

I know for a fact that i have social anxiety very bad, but looking at the symptoms for avoidant personality disorder make me very anxious as to wether i might have it or not...

For instance when Im talking to people i dont know very well i dont know how to interact with them I feel as if i am a different species as them or something. I find myself just staring at people and wondering things about them a lot. I dont know how to respond very well or be able to hold a long conversation without over thinking everything/if at all. I avoid people constantly. Im SO sensitive to rejection and things alongthose lines.
but could this just be my SA?





can anyone tell me what it is like a day in the life of this disorder?

Those are the ones that describe me perfectly. As for a day in my life....

I wake up late, since there's no real reason for me to wake up early. I stay at home all day, only occasionally interacting with my dog or my brother (currently unemployed). Then I either read or piddle around on the computer until Mom & Dad get home from work. After a few hours of putting up with them, I finally get to stay up late all by myself. Though I'm not entirely alone, as I usually spend my time on here.

But just the thought of looking for a job is enough to screw with my sleep and my stomach. I mean, who's going to hire a 29-year old who hasn't worked a real job in years? I walk the dog a few times, so at least I get out of the house. And as much as I love my family, most of the time I'd just rather not have to deal with them. So I end up staying up all night just so I don't have to interact with anyone. I usually crawl into bed around dawn, before anyone wakes up.

On the occasions that I go out, I get myself to not worry about how people may judge me by convincing myself that I'm already crap. So the worst that they'll do is realize exactly that. And once a week I get together with some friends and play some sort of roleplaying game. And even though I show up, I don't say all too much. I'm afraid I'll say something stupid, or only come up with a bad idea. Or I'll worry that my breath stinks when it doesn't, or that I'll stink (even though I always get a shower right before heading over there). Most times I enjoy the company of their idiotic pit bull more than theirs, because all he cares about is whether I give him lots of attention or not.

So mine is a rather lonely existence. As much as I'd love to get a job and even find a girlfriend, just the thought of putting myself out there for evaluation by anyone scares the poop out of me. I actually wrote down a few lines about it back in January. But like most things in my life, it lies unfinished....

For years I've struggled to break free, to overcome this spell.
I drown as sadness fills my heart, and dreams die unfulfilled
I'll search out hopes and joys in what faint instances I can
Such sorrow, grief, and idleness; 'tis no life for a man

So that's my life. I may seem cheery and talkative on this site, but in person I'm usually quiet, apathetic, and extremely critical of myself. I really try hard not to get too down about it, though.
::

yeah i think avoidance is part of social anxiety anyway. at school if i see someone in a classroom through the window i'm about to walk into who i don't know too well, i deliberately don't go in. sometimes i just wait in a cubicle in the school toilet for like half an hour not knowing what to do or where to go. :/

Lol, i can relate, i constantly change my path/plans, take the long route if i see someone (even people I get along with and who I known don't judge me), and do almost anything to avoid people I know (as opposed to people I don't know)

 

[Kat]

Yep, I pick my battles I only do the things I need to do, but all the rest I avoid.

 

[sevenroses]

I have SA but I don't think I have avoidant personality disorder. I'm guessing you may fear disapproval of others. To make you feel a little better disapproval isn't too too bad. and it's really true that you can't please all of the people all the time. It's not possible and it's not necessary. Don't have to be perfect and please everyone. What's important is to feel free to say what you want and feel pleased that you had the courage to do so

 

[dead24]

Hypersensitivity to criticism or rejection
Extreme shyness or social anxiety in social situations
Avoids interpersonal relationships
Feelings of inadequacy
Severe low self-esteem
Self-loathing
Emotional distancing related to intimacy
Highly self-conscious
Self-critical about their problems relating to others
Problems in occupational functioning
Lonely self-perception
Feeling inferior to others
Utilizes fantasy as a form of escapism and to interrupt painful thoughts

that's me too...