A Day in the Afterlife of GraybeardGhost

MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
If you do need to talk to someone, you're welcome to PM me. I hope that whatever it is that's got you down goes away.
 
GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Opaline said:
I don't think I've ever heard the snail in the well thing as a math problem.

I'm sorry you're in such a rough spot.
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Thanks, Opal. :)

I'm surprised you've never heard of the snail thing, as it's one of the classics. This is just one of many variations: Snail in a Well.

kihira said:
Unfortunately I can very much relate to how you are feeling, I usually think of it as snakes and ladders and always ending up back at square one, which is where I am now. If you're like me you are probably being way harder on yourself than you need to be. Use the sliding down feeling as motivation to change, but don't let it be an anchor that holds you back.
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I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a rough patch, too, Kihira. You're right in supposing that I judge myself too harshly. It's a common error in my thinking, one I really need to work on setting right. Thank you so much for your comment! :)

Absolutely_Sweet_Marie said:
I've said it before, but I'll say it again: so long as you are fighting against whatever it is that is bothering you, I for one would not judge you for the troubles you are having. I think people who truly care would be more forgiving than you imagine.
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Thank you for your unwavering support, Marie. :) I only wish I had confidence enough to test your theory.

MikeyC said:
If you do need to talk to someone, you're welcome to PM me. I hope that whatever it is that's got you down goes away.
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Thanks, Mikey. I appreciate it. :)
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Schopenhauer.gif
jung.jpg


Schopenhauer and Jung are my homies. :thumbup:
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I love your snail in the well analogy! I know the feeling-ugh! It would be far easier to be a caterpillar in a well. At least then you could turn into a butterfly and leave.
 
GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Thursday, February 13, 2014​

I'm fed up with life, with people, with their noises and smells, with being a prisoner and a mutilated freak. I don't think I can do this much longer. I punched a wall a little while ago, hard enough to knock off a chunk of paint. That's not something I would normally do, it's not really me, but it felt good. It felt right. I may want to do it again.

I haven't felt this much negativity in a while. I'm frustrated, I'm angry—really angry, physically angry, my whole body brimming with surging, boiling fury and hate—and I've pretty much abandoned all hope of ever feeling okay again.

I feel like I could explode at any moment and take a good chunk of the world with me. I want to tear it apart, smash it to bits, burn it to ash. I want to do terrible, violent, bloody things. I want to hurt people—hurt 'em bad. I want to kill. I want to trash this dump I call a home and burn it to the ground. I want to hear the screams of my neighbors as they roast alive in their beds. I want to cut off my hideous face and throw it on the flames with everything else. My life has come to an end, so there's really no cause for restraint.

None, that is, except that I'm me.

I'm not that kind of guy. I don't do those kinds of things. I don't, in fact, do anything at all. I'm too soft, too weak, too frozen by fear to act on this or any other impulse. I see the need to destroy this miserable world—and it is real, more real, perhaps, than any need that ever was—but alas, I'm not the man to do the job. I'm but a prisoner, born and bred, sentenced from birth to this grim, gray existence, this hopeless living death. I have no courage, no power, no strength, just cold stone walls and iron bars and chains. Give me some stripes to wear, and I'll be complete.
 
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BlueDays

BlueDays

1
GraybeardGhost said:
I'm fed up with life, with people, with their noises and smells, with being a prisoner and a mutilated freak. I don't think I can do this much longer. I punched a wall a little while ago, hard enough to knock off a chunk of paint. That's not something I would normally do, it's not really me, but it felt good. It felt right. I may want to do it again.

I haven't felt this much negativity in a while. I'm frustrated, I'm angry—really angry, physically angry, my whole body brimming with surging, boiling fury and hate—and I've pretty much abandoned all hope of ever feeling okay again.

I feel like I could explode at any moment and take a good chunk of the world with me. I want to tear it apart, smash it to bits, burn it to ash. I want to do terrible, violent, bloody things. I want to hurt people—hurt 'em bad. I want to kill. I want to trash this dump I call a home and burn it to the ground. I want to hear the screams of my neighbors as they roast alive in their beds. I want to cut off my hideous face and throw it on the flames with everything else. My life has come to an end, so there's really no cause for restraint.

None, that is, except that I'm me.

I'm not that kind of guy. I don't do those kinds of things. I don't, in fact, do anything at all. I'm too soft, too weak, too frozen by fear to act on this or any other impulse. I see the need to destroy this miserable world—and it is real, more real, perhaps, than any need that ever was—but alas, I'm not the man to do the job. I'm but a prisoner, born and bred, sentenced from birth to this grim, gray existence, this hopeless living death. I have no courage, no power, no strength, just cold stone walls and iron bars and chains. Give me some stripes to wear, and I'll be complete.
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(((((Lots of HUGS))))) to you.
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I hope these feelings leave you soon, Graybeard.
 
nodejesque

nodejesque

Well-known member
GB. I am here if you need to talk. I wish I knew what to say, but I don't. I often feel like giving up as well, and I let all the emptiness consume me. But there are friends that I have made, that have really helped me. At least in coping with what I feel.... And trying to let go of the anger. Please pm me if you ever want to talk. I can't promise to give any good advice, but I've been told I'm a good listener.

Don't let the darkness swallow you whole, graybeard.
 
Subpop

Subpop

Well-known member
GraybeardGhost said:
Sunday, February 2, 2014​

EDIT:

Here are a few more goals I have in mind for the coming year. They're not meant to be resolutions, mind you, as I'm about the most irresolute person you're ever likely to meet, but merely some things I'd like to accomplish.


• Finally do something to address my mental health issues. Individual or group therapy, CBT, medication? I don't know what, but it's high time I did something about this dysfunctional, squishy, gray thing in my head. I'll have to arrange for insurance first, because they're not giving it away for free, but if I can get some kind of treatment going, alongside the aforementioned flea-flogging goal, it may help me to . . .
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Hey Greybeard I hope you are working towards this goal.
 
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