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Thank you. 😊

It's my birthday today. :) 34 years old. Another year older, still none the wiser. 😆 Though, if I shave my beard off, I'd take a decade off my age. Ha! Also, one of my old schoolmates wished me a happy birthday on Facebook today and said we should catch up in person sometime soon. And I'm...

Good, I guess. I mean, things are alright for the most part. I'm finally feeling motivated enough to get stuff done. Stuff that I've been putting off doing. My mother's finally getting help for her anxiety, in the form of counseling; after years of ignoring my advice. She was quite shocked that...

Feeling better, physically, in that I'm getting over having Covid. So... yay ! 😁 Not doing so great otherwise, though. Sadly. 😔😟 Just trying to distract myself and focus on other things in my life. Even if it does trouble me greatly that my mother refuses to talk back to my older sister in same...

Still not feeling well. Yesterday, I thought I was starting to feel better. Woke up today feeling just as blocked up as I was a few days ago.

Despite rarely leaving the house in the last 2 years, I've tested for positive and got the 'rona. Frickin' Covid! 🤧 I haven't felt this 💩💩 and lacking in energy in a long time. 😔 On a more positive note: my mother finally had her hospital appointment that she was supposed have in January, had...

Ha! That's a good 'un. 😄👍

So... Here's an unexpected but interesting update regarding my music. A rapper reach out to me a few days, saying they want to sample this guitar riff idea, but ah huv'nae replied yet: Of course I'm going to let them sample it, like. Yer feckin' right ah um! Am just wondering: would it'd be...

Struggling but I don't feel that I can open up to my family. Not that I've been able to. Mainly because I immediately get told I'm wrong or why I shouldn't feel how I'm feeling. Like I'm not allowed to feel depressed or tired or whatever. Yesterday, I nearly told one of my sisters to eff off...

Ah f__kin' hate my life, I really do. As well as myself. Can't even bring myself to pick up and play my guitar, that's how bad things are. I'm struggling with suicidal thoughts. But I can say anything. Didn't exactly go, as far as my family comprehending or having any empathy for why I felt that...

Neurotic. Yeah... that pretty much sums up how I've been feeling, lately. I'm fed up with being constantly told I'm a "pillar of strength" for my family just because I'm the one quietly holding them together when everything goes to crap. Meanwhile, I'm an emotional wreck. Not that they'd...

So, I've decided not to pack it in as far as making music goes. Even if that song re-write falling through did make me question why and if ah should continue making music. Y'know... self-doubt. lack o' confidence. Imposter syndrome. The usual pish... Anyway, here's a few ideas that I made in...

Yeah, I guess. Though, not gonna lie, my confidence has really taken a serious knock. Or, at least, what little I have in my creative abilities has. Not that I have a great deal of self confidence in general - due to upbringing. Like, I don't know if I should soldier on or just pack it in?

Kinda unsure of myself at the moment. Wondering if I'm just a talentless hack? 😔 😟 One of my song collaboration just slipped through my hands, and I wasn't even told until I got back in touch with the person recently. Don't even know if they still want to collaborate with me. They said they...

Well, one of my song collaborations just fell through. I'm quite depressed about it. Mainly because I wasn't even informed about it until a few hours ago. 😔 Maybe I'm just a hack, playing at being so-called "musician / music producer"?

🤦‍♂️ Well, don't I feel like a right idiot. The person I was referring to in muh previous post — the one I sent that 4 minute drum loop tae — messaged me last night via WhatsApp, telling me now that he's changed his mind about it. Y'know, despite giving me positive feedback on it initially...

This is kinda how I've been feeling lately... Also, I came up with a drum beat for a song collaboration the other day. And the lad I made it for gave me some good feedback and then proceeded to stop messaging me. Hasn't contact me since I sent him the beat. Even though ah asked if he wanted me...

Quite exhausted. Depressed. Having a bit of confidence crisis in relation to my creativity. In other words, I think I'm a bit of hack as a musician and song-writing. 😔 Or perhaps I'm just 2nd guessing myself?

Burnt out. Pretty knackered and stressed with all that I've had to deal with lately. 😔😟 Mainly the worry over my mum's health. Granted, it's no just me worrying. But ah just wish my siblings wouldn't ask me how our mother doing, like asking how she seems. When I can only answer that based solely...

Well, my mum's finally gave me the reason for her anxiety. It's because we're not spending as much my time together. Since everything related to my hobbies is upstairs. Today, she reminded me of how, when I was younger, my mum and I would spend weekends binge-watching the VHS boxset of the Star...