"Pretty girl " akwArd

Prettyakward · Nov 18, 2014

Hi. I'm the girl everyone always looks at like.."who does she think she is?"
I'm insecure bc I used to hold my head up and wave and smile at everyone but it got confused for flirting so now I don't look at anyone when I go anywhere or make eye contact .
Guys never talk to me..ever. Or ask me out on dates, all my dances and proms in my high school career I wanted to stay home, but my mom made me go without a date. I am the girl that everyone wants to sleep with and no one wants to date... I'm the ..."wow " "you're so hottt" (drools on shirt) but dosent call and the I see them married to a whale on Facebook 6 months later. Even whales get married and have boyfriends. But not me I'm the single "pretty" girl that's always alone bc ppl think I'm "unavailable or out of someone's league" I sit home and cleanup house and at this point am scared of being repeatedly hurt and rejected, really it's true..no one takes me seriously ever I don't know what to do... Should I change my barbie look and hope someone calls? Should I stay myself and wait for a friend who dosent try to humiliate me and some guy isn't scared off by my "superficial" appearance, I really just don't want to be alone.

S_Spartan · Nov 18, 2014

Prettyakward said:
Hi. I'm the girl everyone always looks at like.."who does she think she is?"
I'm insecure bc I used to hold my head up and wave and smile at everyone but it got confused for flirting so now I don't look at anyone when I go anywhere or make eye contact .
Guys never talk to me..ever. Or ask me out on dates, all my dances and proms in my high school career I wanted to stay home, but my mom made me go without a date. I am the girl that everyone wants to sleep with and no one wants to date... I'm the ..."wow " "you're so hottt" (drools on shirt) but dosent call and the I see them married to a whale on Facebook 6 months later. Even whales get married and have boyfriends. But not me I'm the single "pretty" girl that's always alone bc ppl think I'm "unavailable or out of someone's league" I sit home and cleanup house and at this point am scared of being repeatedly hurt and rejected, really it's true..no one takes me seriously ever I don't know what to do... Should I change my barbie look and hope someone calls? Should I stay myself and wait for a friend who dosent try to humiliate me and some guy isn't scared off by my "superficial" appearance, I really just don't want to be alone.

I feel mixed about all this. On the one hand it sounds like a billionaire complaining that all of his money is such a burden, on the other hand I could see "extreme" beauty as something that intimidates people, both men and women, thus making them avoid you or judge you more harshly.

Can't you just make yourself look more plain?

surewhynot · Nov 18, 2014

I'm the ..."wow " "you're so hottt" (drools on shirt) but dosent call and the I see them married to a whale on Facebook 6 months later.

If the guy that you like doesn't call then take the first step and call him yourself. It's selfish to expect someone else to take the first step if you're unwilling to. "But that's the guy's job". Welcome to the 21st century where women are allowed to ask men out.

Also "whale" is quite mean. Maybe those "whales" have something which you don't have, it's not all about looks.

S_Spartan · Nov 18, 2014

surewhynot said:
If the guy that you like doesn't call then take the first step and call him yourself. It's selfish to expect someone else to take the first step if you're unwilling to. "But that's the guy's job". Welcome to the 21st century where women are allowed to ask men out.

Yeah, this too.

Get tired of hearing girls whine about this like it's 1947 and no boy will ask them to the dance.

LazyHermitCrab · Nov 18, 2014

It's okay to be mistaken for flirting if it's part of your personality. If someone mistakes it just say "I didn't mean that as flirting... just friendly" or something. I think it would be good just to focus on maybe one guy at a time that you like and find out if he's single, etc. Also you should focus more on school and your job so when you do find the right guy you can get married and not be completely dependent on him even with marriage.

EasySkanking · Nov 18, 2014

I don't get this... does she suffer from social phobia or is she insecure about being friendly? I don't know, but it's an interesting topic... I remember the few times that I was able to talk to girls comfortably, they thought I was flirting with them. I think you just gotta do your thing and ignore them... keep being friendly. If someone doesn't really get it, then just be like "Hey, I'm just being friendly I'm not flirting with you, sorry :/".

Oh by the way, can I have your #?

bigsmile

I'm kidding!

PerseverareJasmine · Nov 18, 2014

"I see them married to a whale on Facebook 6 months later. Even whales get married and have boyfriends."

These two sentences are rude, hurtful, and unnecessary. A person's attitude has a lot to do with how people see them, and there are some ugly mental characteristics that no amount of beauty could make attractive. Some people understand that there is a lot more that makes up a person's worth than how they look, and it would most likely help a lot if you realize that too.

LazyHermitCrab · Nov 18, 2014

PerseverareJasmine said:
"I see them married to a whale on Facebook 6 months later. Even whales get married and have boyfriends."

These two sentences are rude, hurtful, and unnecessary. A person's attitude has a lot to do with how people see them, and there are some ugly mental characteristics that no amount of beauty could make attractive. Some people understand that there is a lot more that makes up a person's worth than how they look, and it would most likely help a lot if you realize that too.

This is true too. Good looks are nice to have but it doesn't determine if you will have a long term relationship or not. The other person in the relationship has to want to be around you because you make him laugh and things like that. Also calling someone a whale just means you get jealous easily and guys don't like that :/ I used to think looks were the most important to guys because they're "more visual" but as I got older I realized it's not. Also you should look up "Pretty Hurts: Beautiful Woman Seeking Rich Husband Gets Schooled By Investment Banker" in a search engine.

Metal_isthe_Answer · Nov 18, 2014

Prettyakward said:
Hi. I'm the girl everyone always looks at like.."who does she think she is?"
I'm insecure bc I used to hold my head up and wave and smile at everyone but it got confused for flirting so now I don't look at anyone when I go anywhere or make eye contact .
Guys never talk to me..ever. Or ask me out on dates, all my dances and proms in my high school career I wanted to stay home, but my mom made me go without a date. I am the girl that everyone wants to sleep with and no one wants to date... I'm the ..."wow " "you're so hottt" (drools on shirt) but dosent call and the I see them married to a whale on Facebook 6 months later. Even whales get married and have boyfriends. But not me I'm the single "pretty" girl that's always alone bc ppl think I'm "unavailable or out of someone's league" I sit home and cleanup house and at this point am scared of being repeatedly hurt and rejected, really it's true..no one takes me seriously ever I don't know what to do... Should I change my barbie look and hope someone calls? Should I stay myself and wait for a friend who dosent try to humiliate me and some guy isn't scared off by my "superficial" appearance, I really just don't want to be alone.

There's two things I want to ask.
1. How many attractive women are single because guys believe that the woman is out of there league? I don't exactly have a ton of self confidence, whenever I meet an attractive woman I get along with very well, I want to say something, but all I can think is "yeah...they can do better than me."
2. I (like a lot of guys) can easily mistake being friendly with flirting, I can understand being annoyed by a lot of people wanting to hook up with you, but how can a guy be sure that women are just being friendly? I always assume it's just being friendly, I wonder if I've missed any opportunities?

THeCARS1979 · Nov 18, 2014

Prettyakward said:
Hi. I'm the girl everyone always looks at like.."who does she think she is?"
I'm insecure bc I used to hold my head up and wave and smile at everyone but it got confused for flirting so now I don't look at anyone when I go anywhere or make eye contact .
Guys never talk to me..ever. Or ask me out on dates, all my dances and proms in my high school career I wanted to stay home, but my mom made me go without a date. I am the girl that everyone wants to sleep with and no one wants to date... I'm the ..."wow " "you're so hottt" (drools on shirt) but dosent call and the I see them married to a whale on Facebook 6 months later. Even whales get married and have boyfriends. But not me I'm the single "pretty" girl that's always alone bc ppl think I'm "unavailable or out of someone's league" I sit home and cleanup house and at this point am scared of being repeatedly hurt and rejected, really it's true..no one takes me seriously ever I don't know what to do... Should I change my barbie look and hope someone calls? Should I stay myself and wait for a friend who dosent try to humiliate me and some guy isn't scared off by my "superficial" appearance, I really just don't want to be alone.

try not to wear make up or dress provocative,
maybe try asking them out instead ? Girls now adays ask guys out. Im yet to get asked out though.
Try not to think everyone will humiliate you.
There are some of us that will be nicer to you

worrywort · Nov 19, 2014

Prettyakward said:
Hi. I'm the girl everyone always looks at like.."who does she think she is?"
I'm insecure bc I used to hold my head up and wave and smile at everyone but it got confused for flirting so now I don't look at anyone when I go anywhere or make eye contact .
Guys never talk to me..ever. Or ask me out on dates, all my dances and proms in my high school career I wanted to stay home, but my mom made me go without a date. I am the girl that everyone wants to sleep with and no one wants to date... I'm the ..."wow " "you're so hottt" (drools on shirt) but dosent call and the I see them married to a whale on Facebook 6 months later. Even whales get married and have boyfriends. But not me I'm the single "pretty" girl that's always alone bc ppl think I'm "unavailable or out of someone's league" I sit home and cleanup house and at this point am scared of being repeatedly hurt and rejected, really it's true..no one takes me seriously ever I don't know what to do... Should I change my barbie look and hope someone calls? Should I stay myself and wait for a friend who dosent try to humiliate me and some guy isn't scared off by my "superficial" appearance, I really just don't want to be alone.

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I can understand how being attractive would bring it's own unique set of problems. I think most people don't have much pity for attractive people's problems in the same way they wouldn't for rich people's problems, but I think that's unfair.

My opinion is that appearances tend to be thin and shallow; it's a person's character and what's inside their heart that is important. If you want to meet guys or make friends, my advice would be to try to just talk more to people and let them see the real you. I'm sure, pretty soon people's perception of you will change once they get to know you.

I can understand your fear of being alone. I often feel the same, and wonder whether I should change my appearance so that I might attract more people to me. But tbh I suspect the real reason I'm alone is not the way I look, but because I never open my mouth and talk to people, and I think a part of me prefers being alone, because it's safer and away from people's judgement.

Prettyakward · Nov 19, 2014

Well...I'm thankful for the replies, the answers I got were helpful
I shouldn't dress provocatively, I should change who I am and look more plain, and take off all my makeup and read how to get schooled by rich guy/ investment banker .

Also that I'm being mean rude and unecessary by categorizing someone as a whale.

I pretty much was just called a gold digging ***** by
The "mean girl"
With a shitty personality
And I'm not going to be accepted until I change my appearance.
Bc "I must wear too much makeup" "dress like a ****" or "be mean"

I joined to get an honest opinion, not to be treated like an imposter .
You all proved use of the same stereotypes.

And regarding the whale comment:
Any one of you has seen someone you've dated with someone else eventually and you wonder why that person is more appealing than you. In most cases they are not, they are just different. I'm not out to hurt online users, but I can't say the same about the rest of you guys.
It was my first post I wasn't trying to hurt anyone I can't see my audience, just like you cannot see me and made those assumptions.

Prettyakward · Nov 19, 2014

Worry wort,
Thanks for a nice answer and for being empathetic, you sound like a beautiful person.

Odo · Nov 19, 2014

Don't change, don't do anything different, don't give up on yourself and don't worry about what other people think.

Do your best to figure out what someone's intentions are before you get involved with them, and make sure you're getting involved with them for the right reasons.

Also, be patient.

NathanielWingatePeaslee · Nov 19, 2014

Prettyakward said:
Hi. I'm the girl everyone always looks at like.."who does she think she is?"
I'm insecure bc I used to hold my head up and wave and smile at everyone but it got confused for flirting so now I don't look at anyone when I go anywhere or make eye contact .
Guys never talk to me..ever. Or ask me out on dates, all my dances and proms in my high school career I wanted to stay home, but my mom made me go without a date.

Hello.

I'm a little unclear on a few points.

Do you have social phobia? Do you have friends, and/or leave the house much? These factors can strongly contribute to how often guys might ask you out.

Prettyakward said:
I am the girl that everyone wants to sleep with and no one wants to date... I'm the ..."wow " "you're so hottt" (drools on shirt) but dosent call and the I see them married to a whale on Facebook 6 months later. Even whales get married and have boyfriends.

A lot of very pretty girls have boyfriends and get married. What else is going on?

Prettyakward said:
But not me I'm the single "pretty" girl that's always alone bc ppl think I'm "unavailable or out of someone's league"

How are you sure that's what they're thinking?

Prettyakward said:
I sit home and cleanup house and at this point am scared of being repeatedly hurt and rejected, really it's true..no one takes me seriously ever I don't know what to do...Should I change my barbie look and hope someone calls? Should I stay myself and wait for a friend who dosent try to humiliate me and some guy isn't scared off by my "superficial" appearance, I really just don't want to be alone.

Who has tried to humiliate you? I do not know what the problem is, but I do not think that getting a makeover is likely to help.

LazyHermitCrab · Nov 19, 2014

Prettyakward said:
Well...I'm thankful for the replies, the answers I got were helpful
I shouldn't dress provocatively, I should change who I am and look more plain, and take off all my makeup and read how to get schooled by rich guy/ investment banker .

Also that I'm being mean rude and unecessary by categorizing someone as a whale.

I pretty much was just called a gold digging ***** by
The "mean girl"
With a shitty personality
And I'm not going to be accepted until I change my appearance.
Bc "I must wear too much makeup" "dress like a ****" or "be mean"

The investment banker guy was an example of showing that looks aren't that everything. It seemed like in your post you were focusing on looks a lot for a reason for being single. Sorry didn't mean to make you feel bad...

Tuukka40 · Nov 21, 2014

Guys like pretty girls and guys like mean girls. On top of that, the hotter the girl is, the more likely guys are to want to date her as opposed to just sleep with her. I'm not saying that is right or wrong (based on morals), it is just my opinion/view.

And most guys don't think "she's out of my league" and they DEFINITELY do not care if you are taken or not. Guys will hit on any girl, anywhere, any time. I can't stress that enough. I can say that that is definitely NOT what your problem is.

I would also say the reason you probably don't get approached is almost definitely your shyness, awkwardness, and possibly the unintentional way that you carry yourself.
People who don't seem to talk to anyone really don't come across as very interesting or likeable to them.

I am not tearing you up or insulting you here, but your post does come across as quite pretentious. That being said, my best advice would be to worry about your looks less and do your best to become a friendly, caring, and likeable person to others. View everyone you meet, guys and girls, as potential friends. Be nice, joke around, compliment them, etc. In my opinion, that is the only way you can fix your problem.

***To clarify, I am not saying you are not likeable and that people with SA are not likeable, etc. I am trying to convey what I believe people without SA think and see and how possibly to fix your problem***

surewhynot · Nov 21, 2014

Tuukka40 said:
Guys like pretty girls and guys like mean girls. On top of that, the hotter the girl is, the more likely guys are to want to date her as opposed to just sleep with her. I'm not saying that is right or wrong (based on morals), it is just my opinion/view.

And most guys don't think "she's out of my league" and they DEFINITELY do not care if you are taken or not. Guys will hit on any girl, anywhere, any time. I can't stress that enough. I can say that that is definitely NOT what your problem is.

I would also say the reason you probably don't get approached is almost definitely your shyness, awkwardness, and possibly the unintentional way that you carry yourself.
People who don't seem to talk to anyone really don't come across as very interesting or likeable to them.

I am not tearing you up or insulting you here, but your post does come across as quite pretentious. That being said, my best advice would be to worry about your looks less and do your best to become a friendly, caring, and likeable person to others. View everyone you meet, guys and girls, as potential friends. Be nice, joke around, compliment them, etc. In my opinion, that is the only way you can fix your problem.

***To clarify, I am not saying you are not likeable and that people with SA are not likeable, etc. I am trying to convey what I believe people without SA think and see and how possibly to fix your problem***

As a guy I have to say that I find your perception of the male population quite troubling.

Tuukka40 · Nov 21, 2014

surewhynot said:
As a guy I have to say that I find your perception of the male population quite troubling.

First hand experience. My horribly awkward self got lucky enough to get a beautiful girlfriend, who I am still with after 3 years.
If you visit her Facebook page, it is very clear that we are dating. But several times a week, there are guys (who do not know her) messaging her on Facebook trying to pick her up. Ages 14 through 50.
She has been hit on in front of me, in person.
Had an hockey ex-teammate try to pick her up on Facebook.
Guys with girlfriends of their own trying to pick her up.
And all of that is on top of the people who hit on her without caring/asking about her relationship status.

It happens CONSTANTLY. A lot of guys don't giving a flying F about your relationship and I know that for sure. So to say a girl isn't getting hit on b/c she is taken or out of someone's league is very inaccurate. Not saying all guys are disrespectful and don't care, but many many are like how I describe.

AriAbs · Nov 23, 2014

PerseverareJasmine said:
"I see them married to a whale on Facebook 6 months later. Even whales get married and have boyfriends."

These two sentences are rude, hurtful, and unnecessary. A person's attitude has a lot to do with how people see them, and there are some ugly mental characteristics that no amount of beauty could make attractive. Some people understand that there is a lot more that makes up a person's worth than how they look, and it would most likely help a lot if you realize that too.

The same can be said about skinny shaming, but, of course, not too many people say that's rude. What a joke.

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