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Old 1 Week Ago
Graeme1988's Avatar
Hie ye hence from me heath!
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Quite sad that the MGTOW mentality has shaped who I am. Long before I'd even knew about it.



All the sadder, because the women who put me off relationship or marriage weren't a few bad girlfriends, but my own family. My mother and older sisters. They taught me to respect wimmin, while they disrespecting me. Nice!
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Originally Posted by Graeme1988 View Post
Well, bought myself another bottle of Jägermeister
Here's to good health for ye!
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
Here's to good health for ye!
Cheers! Ah've no telt ma mum that I've bought it like.

And if my older sister goes: "Huh! Whit ye drinking that fur?!", I'm either gonnae tell her tae f*ck off n' mind her ain business. Or, be really honest, and say that living with her is reason enough to drink. Which would probably not go down well, cuz I'd say it with enough distain in my voice for her to cop that ah wus'nae being funny. Since my mother and sisters just automatically assuming everything I say is meant sarcastically.
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Even my oldest sister acknowledged ah wus'nae as utterly ungrateful following my orthopaedic surgery last year, when ah was off ma feet for 2 months. Aye, there wus the odd angry outburst, in which ah swore. But ah never accused my mother of not helping me, as she actually helped me. Ah sure as f*ck never repeatedly told my mother she's stupid. Aye, ah might've called her an idiot outta frustration due to her not listening to me. But at least ah felt bad enough to say sorry.

How my older sister has treated our mother has been... horrible. Not once has she apologised for her behaviour or shown a shred of gratitude towards of us.
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Old 1 Week Ago
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Don't know how next year will pan oot... kinda dreading it. Since 2017 dinnae exactly go as ah wus hoping.

Been so depressed lately that ah cannae bring masel to continue the book ah started reading... F*ck, ah cannae even remember when ah started it! Couldnae even bring myself to re-opening my recording software on my laptop, which I've not used since July. That was the last month where ah wus fairly prolific in terms the music ideas just flowing...

But even that... Ah don't know if I'll get back intae? Cuz I just look at the instrumental arrangements, saved on my laptop, ah composed from May through to August and think:
Ah wus happy, then...
Starting tae huv second thoughts about teaching my oldest sister how to play the bass guitar, too.
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Old 1 Week Ago
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The nightmare might, either be over soon, or set to get worse.

Ma older sister just got the news she didnae want to hear fae tha local housing department. Because she wus made a priority when she filled oot - 2 kids and homeless due to divorce - she did get a couple o' offers. But she declines them for in her words: "...not good enough"

So, if she decline the next offer, the housing department here can scrap her application on the grounds that she's been wasting their time when they got other applicants, like me, to deal with. And y'know summit? It serves the bitch right for treat us like crap for the previous 4 months. Swaning aboot like she's Kim Kardashian's long lost Scottish cousin. Giving us attitude, posting photos and status updates on Facebook like everything's f*ckin' jolly!
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Just got the bestest news ah could've wish for in the last 5 months...

MY older sister and feral, hyperactive, greeting-faced mini-me offspring will be outta the family home by Christmas!


F**k yeah - best Chrimbo present ever !

And there wus me buyin' booze cuz ah've depressed as f*ck and things kinda came tae a heid there as far as thee "Ah cannae take much more o' this" wus concerned. And ah did confuse to my oldest sister that the spoiled middle yin wus oan the verge o' being bludgeoned to death by my f*ckin' fist! Which she said was beneath me, and more than a wee bit ironic for some who takes an interest in Eastern, Zen Buddhist, philosophy, and is always the rational in the family conflicts.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Ah just hope these past few hellish months are enough to make my mum realise change is desperately need if she wants our relationship to be repaired. And ah telt her, rightly, that she'd get a "...rude awakening" in the coming months and see that ah wus never the enemy. She just made me that as a convenience for stuff she couldnae admit to or cope with. Easier to take oot oan me cuz my counter argument to her wus always about her. Not once did I stoop so low as to guilt-trip her for doing so, or swearing at her. Unlike a certain older sister...
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Ah don't know.... ah think I'm gonnae break doon in tears, like my Mum did on August 25th, once things get back tae they were. But even then it's not gonnae be the same. Cuz these past few months huv just made me more determined to be alone.

And, y'know, reinforced just why ah despise my family.

Dinnae even ken if ah'll get back into making music again?
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Old 2 Days Ago
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Still negative aboot this temporary hoose... More negative than failing a school exam paper
"The house is cold. How um ah gonnae dae this? Whit aboot going shopping? Paying the bills"
This is what my older sister is so worried about. Aw that n' buying clothes for her and her kids. Cuz ye gotta dress to impress, right?

If ah gie the impression of a wummin who's spoiled and materialist, well... She's exactly that! But that's no even worst of it, in the 5 months she's been back living with us, our mum has been caring for the wee 'uns. F*ck the fact she's well on in terms of age. Naw, she got run efter her grandchildren make sure they're feed n' that, while their ain mother is transfixed by her f*ckin' phone.

What a great parent! Mother knows best, huh?! F*ck off!
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Old 17 Hours Ago
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Do all wimmin feel the need to make men justify their life choices? Is that how it is now? Or is just the Bitch Trifecta ah wus raised by and with that are like that? Oh, that's wee bit sexist but then it is accurate. As my mother and sister are... like that towards me a lotta the time.

Cuz, jings, d'they need tae know everything aboot me. And they tell me bugger all, keep things fae me. Dinnae see why ah should be any different.

Aye, ah used to quite an open person, but once ah realised how willing my family were to use that trait against me, I pretty much became a recluse. Sad, but when you've been hurt so many times, emotionally, ye tend to get like that.

Why tha f*ck I've not comitted suicide is beyond me like. Ah mean my mother got miserable enough outlook on life to make anybuddy lose tha will tae live. And it's no like I'd be missed by ma family. No the way they've treated me. The only reason they'll miss is cuz they finally need tae f*ckin' troubleshoot their laptop issues and resolve them on their ain, like ah do.

Not that movin' oot the hoose'll no help, it's just when you've constantly got family underestimating and telling ye your limitations due to your disability, it hard to believe in yerself, y'know... ? And when yer guilt-tripped for politely refusing to something ya dinnae want tae. It just added tae yer self-esteem issues.

Hope my older sister does move oot afore Christmas, as ah don't want any f*ckin' static about me moving out. Cuz we'll come to blows, ah know we will cuz my sister like to start arguments with "I'm right, you're wrong! Huh!". Paraphrasing, obviously, but that her side of it. Mind you, it's hilarious how a few well phrased questions quickly have her feeling a lot less smug.
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Old 11 Hours Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graeme1988 View Post
Cuz, jings, d'they need tae know everything aboot me. And they tell me bugger all, keep things fae me. Dinnae see why ah should be any different.
Very clever tactic! And so they can put-you-down to their wee heart's content, whilst being immune to getting such in return, thereby maintaining the illusion that they're perfect & can do no wrong. And if you do happen to on occasion complain about them, they say you're being cruel, when you're just being honest & telling things as they are. I know the type of woman you're talkin about.
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Old 3 Hours Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
Very clever tactic! And so they can put-you-down to their wee heart's content, whilst being immune to getting such in return, thereby maintaining the illusion that they're perfect & can do no wrong. And if you do happen to on occasion complain about them, they say you're being cruel, when you're just being honest & telling things as they are. I know the type of woman you're talkin about.
Well, they've accused me of being cruel while being honest in the past few months. So that's nowt new. And as for putting me down and giving nothing in return, ah do stil give the odd comeback but now it's usually an observation. Like the other day there, my sisters clocked my bottle of Jägermeister on my computer desk. And the oldest goes:
"Look it that, eh? Look whit Graeme's got", showing our middle sister the bottle.
To which she shrieked: "Are ye joking, like? Seriously...!?", in an overly dramatic tone. "When did ye start drinking that!?"
"He got it the other day"
"When?!"
Got it far Amazon on Monday, there. Order it on Friday", I interrupt
"Why?", comes my older sister's response, in a confused but slightly hostile
"Summit different innit? Ah've no tried it afore"
"700ml?! F*ckin' hell...!", and at that she shake her heid n' walks downstairs. Leaving my older sister and I giggling and rolling our eyes. "Got tae know everything, does she?"
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