Recent content by redmatter

I'm constantly bouncing between these states, never really understanding what's real. Based on previous outcomes it seems like actual fact, and that makes me intensely paranoid and anxious. So, I really need some perspective. This is my attempt to understand people a little better and...

Organized harassment at work, need some advice. This has been a recurring theme in my work and life in general. I believe that on top of anxiety, I have post traumatic stress disorder from early on. I simply have no understanding of social cues or etiquette, though I've always tried to be...

I really have. I'm tired of those people close to me using my weaknesses against me, after thinking they cared about who I was. Not the case, they couldn't care less about me, only in some image I'm supposed to be. It's like, we care because we have to frankly, we couldn't care less as to...

I find this isn't possible, mainly because nobody in my life let's me go one visit without bringing up something form my past they know will bother me. It bothers me to see then enjoy saying it... it might not be what they say, and often it isn't - it's become more of this resentment for trying...

Ok, so I was trying to be friends with this girl at work. She's married, so I'm not trying for anything more than just being friends... but we were being friendly and everything seemed cool, having lunch or lunch in groups together, etc. Talking about things... and then one day, nothing. I...

Now I don't know if I'm in the right spot for this, but I've reached my wits end long ago. I'm not talking about physical bullying, but emotional. The kind that doesn't get any respect... I'll tell you why it deserves respect. Life for me with people, it's like constantly touching a hot stove...

How can you make friends as a thirty-something? Being a rightfully paranoid introvert with issues people stab at every turn, I don't know which way is up. If you try and befriend a dude, it seems like you're gay. If you try to befriend a girl, everyone assumes it's sexual, or it should be -...

Should I consider it a friend who helps me with one hand, but stabs me with another? Do I owe this person for at the very least, helping me with one hand in a world that seems hopeless (and hand-less)? Is that what friendship means? I don't like feeling utilized by "friends" for what they...

If at one time it was a phobia, or paranoia, it isn't anymore. Now, it's intelligence, and skilled observation. People enjoy messing with my head, so much so, I can't talk to a single person that I know without them having a laugh. Nobody considers the situation, or allows me any rest. They...

It's crazy, I can't find anybody to connect with in the world - but here, online... a whole group of people that seem to get what you're saying. I wonder how to know you people, lol. Would we gel in the real world? I wonder

You've been ostracized and think people are nasty? I feel good away from people, shouldn't that mean something. Is this what being crazy really is?

Veteran alien here. I come with 15 years of experience of trench mind-warfare, alienation, disconnectedness and embittered rage; although, that's just what I've been driven to, I actually think I was always kind of a good guy (not that I was always a saint), but I guess that's more than people...