Organized harrassment at work, need some advice.

[redmatter]

Organized harassment at work, need some advice.

This has been a recurring theme in my work and life in general. I believe that on top of anxiety, I have post traumatic stress disorder from early on. I simply have no understanding of social cues or etiquette, though I've always tried to be polite and understanding of people.

In this case, apparently an enemy from my past who is friends with someone in the office (I didn't know this), let loose on some not so great history of mine. Now their friends have mobbed up to make me feel uncomfortable indirectly - hinting they know about past personal situations without giving me an opportunity to respond directly.

These past things, while unfortunate, have been taken out of context and are generally misunderstood. It's to a point now though that they're actively trying to do away with me and once again I'm without a livelihood.

This all comes after years of trying to get help, advice, medications, etc. I don't really know where to go from here.

Here's what I really need advice on...

I figure they have me made out to be a bad guy because of a one-sided rat from my past. Being that I'm socially inept and I guess, make them feel uncomfortable to be around, I suppose the only human reaction is to take away my ability to earn a living.

But I've decided to not take it all lying down - or at least giving a good fight. I just don't know where to start. I'm in a small office, I report to a manager. Then there's a VP.

I'm worried about talking to anyone, but feel it's severe enough to sit down with the VP. I don't trust my direct manager, and I'm concerned that no matter who I talk to, even the VP, that they're going to look at me like I'm bat **** crazy and play stupid. Then, things will get worse from that point.

One thing's for sure, I think the only way is to meet it head on. Do you think I should pull aside a co-worker or go to the VP? How do normal people handle these types of situations, if they were ever in them?

Really appreciate any advice.

 

[Niteowl]

That's disgusting. I've never been in a situation quite like yours, but it's clear that it's bothering you, and that's why I think you should speak with the VP, absolutely. I don't know why you can't trust your manager, but that, along with the vile harassment, is justification in doing going directly to the VP. What's happened in the past, taken out of context or not, is no business of theirs. Explain it to the VP the way you have explained it here. They shouldn't think your crazy. Companies should be prepared for this sort of thing.

I hope you can get this sorted out.

 

[Agent_Violet]

From an employer point of view: what they're doing to you sucks. They're being manipulative, immature, nasty little trolls. It's probably done out of fear that youre possibly better than them in the workplace. In my experience the only time these kinds of things happen is when someone feels threatened or jealous.
With that said, I personally prefer employees handle their private disagreements among themselves. But if they aren't able to come to a tentative peace or some sort of understanding, they can come to me for help.
I've fired people for workplace bullying before. My state is an at will state so bullying is a sufficient reason to fire someone.
I would first try to clear the air on your own. If you don't get anywhere with it, at least you can approach the VP with the maturity of "I tried to handle this privately without involving you but..."
I hope it works out for you.

 

[Fighter86]

First, do you think the manager is behaving like the rest of your colleagues as well? If he/she is, I am not surprised as I have come acrossed a lecturer in full view of hundreds of students make fun of one particular student with the other students. It is extremely gross and inappropriate. If you feel your manager is impartial, you can discuss the matter with him, otherwise, go straight to your VP. There is no reason why you should feel harressed in your work place.



Unfortunately I feel the same as you do sometimes over various jobs and in some situations, I just never really had the chance to report this behaviour, eg: like right now whereby my manager is the one doing it and she is a very senior staff of the company. In anycase, good luck!

 

[R3K]

ignore them. focus on the discipline of your work. if and when the **** hits the fan just tell your managers that your coworkers are maliciously sabotaging you out of revenge for something that happened in your personal life which, you keep completely separate from work.

if the managers are manipulated as well and you get fired... then it's time to put on the ass-kickin boots .

 

[redmatter]

ignore them. focus on the discipline of your work. if and when the **** hits the fan just tell your managers that your coworkers are maliciously sabotaging you out of revenge for something that happened in your personal life which, you keep completely separate from work.

Thanks R3K, this works.........

 

[2QuietForThem]

ignore them. focus on the discipline of your work. if and when the **** hits the fan just tell your managers that your coworkers are maliciously sabotaging you out of revenge for something that happened in your personal life which, you keep completely separate from work.

if the managers are manipulated as well and you get fired... then it's time to put on the ass-kickin boots .

I agree with this route. Ignore their sorry selves and don't stoop to their level. They want you to react, but DO NOT give them the satisfaction. Just concentrate on your work. While I the Air Force, a supervisor gave me some great advice: Document everything! If someone say something crazy that might affect your job, note it.

In the military, I had my own bully who used to say crap to me in front of his friends. I never spoke a word to him in defense; just ignored him. My revenge came about a year later when he got in trouble for drinking (again), and I was the one who typed up his discharge paperwork. SWEEEEET!

 

[Moa]

I'm truly sorry you are going through this. I was once bullied straight out of a job... my boss was swayed by my cruel coworkers and basically tricked me in to getting fired. They were union workers, I was not a member yet. All I can say is that if you can't get things straightened out at work, consider looking for another job. Life is too short to be that unhappy every day.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I feel your pain, Redmatter! I'm going through some organized hate at work right now as well - and have for much of my life. I've been nothing but nice to these people, however it's like being in junior high all over again! They seem to view it as weakness and take advantage all the time. I tend to be on the quiet side with people I'm not comfortable with, so that probably doesn't help matters either. My direct supervisor is of little use as she's chummy with the primary instigators, although the boss above her is pretty no-nonsense. I'm just sick of all the snootiness and downright disrespect. A supervisor who works closely with my group actually said "I don't want to see that face today" as I was walking by the other day in front of a bunch of people!!! Who says that sort of thing??? It sucks because I do like some of the people, but I'm tired of the constant tension from the haters. I'm looking for another job, but I fear it the same thing will happen again as it has in the past. I really do try hard to be nice to people but it always seems to backfire. Sorry to hijack your thread - I totally get what you're saying!