Check my head on this please, on friendship.....

R

redmatter

Well-known member
Should I consider it a friend who helps me with one hand, but stabs me with another? Do I owe this person for at the very least, helping me with one hand in a world that seems hopeless (and hand-less)? Is that what friendship means?

I don't like feeling utilized by "friends" for what they can offer me. But it seems to be the status quo as of late with most of the people in my life. Yea you can put me down, trash my name, and treat me as if I have no thoughts of my own, but thanks for inviting me to hang - you're a pal.
 
WantToHide

WantToHide

Well-known member
Perhaps you want to have a friend so much that you're willing to put up with however they treat you. Or maybe they don't realise the effect of their actions, maybe they don't realise how they make you feel. If you don't tell them they'll never know. If they do something you like, laugh, smile etc, and if they do something you don't like, tell them you don't like it or divert the conversation away from the topic you don't like.

I don't know about you, but I think sometimes people don't know how to behave around me. I never really tell people when they do something I like, and I bottle it up when they do something I don't like (or I avoid them). The problem is that they don't usually know that they've done something wrong and they end up thinking I don't like them or that I'm rude. Then they're snappy or whatever with me because they think I'm rude. I used to think that people enjoyed being horrible to me. But I'm starting to think that they just don't know how to behave around me.

Maybe if you're open about your feelings, they're more likely to know how to behave around you and less likely to be annoyed with you through misunderstandings.

That's what I've been trying to do. It's easy to say but really hard to actually do. I feel really vulnerable when I tell people how they make me feel. So I'm giving advice that I'm not actually managing to do! :D
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
If you're friends are being mean to you maybe you should directly speak to them like''Guys,you're taking things too far &I'm really not comfortable with it." You may have to say this a couple of times before they get the msg.I'm not telling you to be rude but don't tell them you're okay with something if you strongly don't like it.I was like that,I tried to please everyone & ended up being hurt.Its okay to disagree,it doesn't make you a bad person,ppl often respect others even if they have a different opinion.Don't let others treat you like crap.If you feel insecure around them maybe they're not a perfect match for you.Try to hang around with other ppl but don't completely leave them unless you've found better friends.I hope I helped,though I'm not sure what's the case.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top