I tried talking to people on skype

I have no idea why I'm making a topic for this, but I've been freaking out and I just need to get this out before I burst. Today I was on a skype chat with a few people I've met online. Once I went into the call I just froze up, I couldn't say anything at all. They started making jokes about how I was beyond antisocial, and one person threatened to post a clip they had of me singing if I didn't say anything. Then I typed that I was just gonna go and I think I heard someone complain under their breath about how I was being difficult. I tried to contribute to the conversation by just typing, but then someone said "oh look it says she's typing let's see what she's gonna say!" so I panicked and erased, and apparently you can see when someone's erasing so they said "aw stop erasing!" Then everyone in the call was pretty much just staring at my name commenting every time I attempted to type something and complaining when I erased. I typed "brb" and closed out of skype, and I haven't returned. I think it would be stupid of me to return after being difficult, and I think I managed to genuinely piss off at least one person.

Anyways, I'm really sorry for making an entire topic for my rambling, and I'm sorry for how poorly written it likely was, I don't want to go back and reread it, but I feel like I'm about to explode and I don't think I can keep it in. I don't know how I'm going to face these people again after this.

Has anyone else had similar experiences with skype?

Shhh

Wow, those people were incredibly rude. Sorry about that. Who were these people, and where did you meet them? It's really rude for them to just focus on you like that, and give you a hard time about it, I mean like that is really going to help you out. If you try again I think it should be with people who won't give you a hard time, or will understand if you don't want to talk.

I have tried skype a few times, with people from this site I think. I failed. I wouldn't say anything either and would just type to other people talking. People weren't rude or anything, but I got kind of uncomfortable with it all. I think it would take me hours to even say one word. You definitely need more than a few tries at it. I haven't tried it in a long time, partly because I know I will fail.

I wont go on skype...or anything with a cam...I cant stand the pressure. I dont even like messenger..I like it like this on a forum then its just me with no one watching

Not with skype but in general! You think you have done a good thing by facing fears, but then you encounter your fear because people get annoyed with certain strange behaviors. Don’t write it off though use it as a learning experience. It takes a lot of practice to become better at most things and you’re likely to have a few hurdles along the way. I’d say maybe try it again with a less antagonizing group and maybe warn them that you are shy.

I've always had a hard time with phone and phone-type conversations. I get very nervous when there's any pauses in the conversation and I try to talk quickly and not make any pauses, which then leads to me running out of breath sometimes or running out of things to talk about and then I start to get nervous.

I think any kind of internet chat or video thing is different than real-life. People over the net tend to do things they don't normally do because they know they are safe behind their computer and their identity is concealed usually. Like if someone is talking to someone from california when they live in New York, chances are, they'll probably never see each other in person.

For instance, the person that got mad at you may of said what they said because they knew there is nothing you could do about it cuz your on the web and probably will never meet each other. I instant messaged this girl and was totally comfortable, and when I went to school that same year after instant messaging her in the summer, i didn't have the courage to say one word to her. Computers and real life are two different things socially imo.

Part of dealing with shyness around people is accepting that there will be people that won't like you. So one person didn't like you. Hey, that ain't bad. I have a couple friends that a ton of people don't like. And these guys aren't shy, they talk all the time, and they have more enemies than me. Huzza, you need to change your mindset. The next time you think someone doesn't like you, you need to realize that there must be something wrong with them. People jump to conclusions before they get to know people, that's part of life. If they don't like you, that's their problem to deal with. You are trying to hang out with people and you have that right to hang out with people. Don't let other people control you because they are insecure, ignorant cowards who can't handle someone who is different. If they got such a problem with you, then they should leave for being the weaker mean person. There is no need to feel guilty when you've done nothing wrong. It's not like you are trying to make people feel uncomfortable.

Hey, I'm sorry to read about your problem. I would suggest that the next time you just tell them about your problem. I would even try to contact those people again and explain them. From what I've experienced people are generally more understanding as the might appear to be in the beginning. They just don't know about SA and people tend to make fun of things they don't understand (like in this case your silence). Don't get me wrong, you are not supposed to justify yourself, but it will certainly help people to understand you if you tell them. And surely it is also a relief to you. I'm a very quiet guy who doesn't have to say a lot, but about my problems and how they developed I could talk hours .

Greets
Seeker

That doesn't sound very nice huzzah.

I'm all for encouraging quieter participants in a Skype chat to talk, but what they did sounds more like they were making fun of you which isn't very helpful.

When you get a nice group of people together Skype can be really fun. The people in the MSN Group have started Skyping lately, so maybe you'd feel more comfy chatting to them than non-sa people or randoms off the net.

Re: Shhh

Psychedelicious said:

Wow, those people were incredibly rude. Sorry about that. Who were these people, and where did you meet them? It's really rude for them to just focus on you like that, and give you a hard time about it, I mean like that is really going to help you out. If you try again I think it should be with people who won't give you a hard time, or will understand if you don't want to talk.

I have tried skype a few times, with people from this site I think. I failed. I wouldn't say anything either and would just type to other people talking. People weren't rude or anything, but I got kind of uncomfortable with it all. I think it would take me hours to even say one word. You definitely need more than a few tries at it. I haven't tried it in a long time, partly because I know I will fail.

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Its not being rude its more or less them not understanding whats going on with her. Its easy to think someone like her was just being bashful or timid, instead of literally freaking out on the inside. Empathy is something you cannot show unless you understand. We understand what she went through, so we feel for her genuinely, but the people in that skype call, unless im mistaken, most likely did not.
You can't expect everyone to understand, that is simply not possible. Although it would be nice.

Yes, I agree with what Confuseddd said about them not understanding the whole picture; they wouldn't know that you have anxiety/trouble speaking so it probably made you even more aware of how you were coming across and their actions more exaggerated. I know that when I'm with a group of people, my mind goes into overload and I start to think everyone is thinking bad things about me, or that I'm 'offending' people somehow. Not the case. People without SA just don't understand, least not if you don't tell them. I'm sure the person wasn't that annoyed with you and if so it's not like it was your fault at all.
I also agree with talisman, maybe you'll have an easier time on the MSN Chat group's Skype if you wanted, people there are a lot more understanding on voice chat - of course, you don't even need to join if you don't want to - I went on there just the other day and I hardly did more than make keyboard noise lol! but still - it was somehow alot of fun. Because we all know we have SA and we can be open with each other XD

Hey huzzah! YAY for being brave and going on Skype!!

Skype and such scare me too, so I can relate.. It's easier typing, yup.. Especially if you don't know people that well.. Great idea about practising with sympathetic people first!

I think people on your Skype chat were just kinda clueless about sa too, yup.. They were just doing some friendly teasing, and then didn't get it how it was affecting you.. Maybe they also didn't have anything else to say.. (!) My dad can get like this, and go into tease/talk about unpleasant topics mode just because he can't think of anything else to say!! So the important thing is to just change the subject, or tease'em right back (if you're able to, in a friendly way..) or explain your situation.. Depends on what kind of people you're with too, yup.
Did they know about your sa/shyness? If so, maybe they thought they'd soon help you get over it and maybe they were exasperated a bit when their awesome presence didn't magically cure you? /sarcasm here/

If they didn't know about your shy/bashful/timid/sa nature, maybe it's good to say something - only if they're the kind of people who could understand.. If they're not likely to be supportive (again, probably depends where you met'em online, some forums can have very different mentalities..) it's probably better to chat with more supportive people 1st and only then go talk to those guys..

Maybe they were guys trying to flirt with you? In that case maybe they thought you didn't like'em enough to talk to them.. (some people can be a bit rude then)
Or some people can get nervous if someone doesn't say anything (they don't know what the other person is thinking or if they're even who they say they are - for example, even a 40+ year old male could pretend to be a 16-year-old girl, and voice chat can at least give some idea if you are who you are or not..)

I think people on your chat quite like you and wanted to see what you were writing (orelse they wouldn't complain of your erasing!) and if they wanted to post your music clip, they must quite like you too! It was friendly teasing/banter that some people enjoy in, and they may have been a bit exasperated that 'it didn't work'!

You could joke and say something like 'you're (all) so handsome that my tongue got tied' or your 'awesome presence made me quite jittery' or something like that?

On another note, you could just say your mic wasn't working, or that family was in the house/snooping around or your connection was bad or something.. (That's an easy exit too, or that you have to go etc. don't say brb, say 'gotta go' or something like that, so you'll be truthful..) But it's probably better to at least hint at the truth a bit.. at least to the sympathetic ones/those you know longer at those places online..
Maybe something like, 'Sorry about the other day, I really wanted to chat with you guys, I have terrible chat phobia though and/or some things came up and sorry couldn't make it' (or in combination with some of the stuff above, especially if it was true-? It's difficult to voice chat with family listening/snooping about anyway..) Something like that? (in a few days, to let people cool off a bit?) What do the others think?

Again, YAY for being brave & GO YOU!!

Re: Shhh

I think other people have covered everything I wanted to say. Sorry you had to be exposed to such idiots. Well done for trying.

Psychedelicious said:

I have tried skype a few times, with people from this site I think. I failed. I wouldn't say anything either and would just type to other people talking. People weren't rude or anything, but I got kind of uncomfortable with it all. I think it would take me hours to even say one word. You definitely need more than a few tries at it. I haven't tried it in a long time, partly because I know I will fail.

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I would love to skype with people from here. Do you know if it's still going? But I only have a mic though, not a cam. Shouldn't make a difference though.

Wow, how mean is that?

I can't understand why people make fun of someone being quiet, nervous or uncomfortable during a skype session. I think that's completely normal, especially SA people find this hard to deal with. I have a friend from germany whom wants to talk to me. But we ''called eachother'' on skype. We chat through skype, he wants to call me, but I'm just too nerve wracking to call him. But I know he has no problem with that but he says it's a better way of communication. For ''social people'' it kinda is, for us it's just an obstacle to face, but hey u haven't failed or anything They are making fun of you, they are too Shallow to understand your situation, they don't seem to be understandable, just fools Ignore them, and tell them to never bother you again, and don't mess with you again

That was insensitive of them.

Maybe you should skype with some SA people on here. They'll understand when you're being quiet and won't prod you. Once you get used to chatting on skype, you can try it with non-SA people.

Re: Shhh

Confuseddd said:

Its not being rude its more or less them not understanding whats going on with her.

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I think it is rude because they didn't even bother trying to get to know her. Look at it this way, this person that judged her is willing to totally trash her verbally. If someone is willing to insult someone like that, they better be sure that the other person is in the wrong. But this prick didn't even bother to try to get to know the OP, she just decided to be selfish and make herself feel powerful by putting down the OP. This is my problem with non-SA people insulting us, they don't even know us. They have no right to insult someone they don't know just because the person they are insulting is being quiet. Considering the insulter doesn't have SA, which sounds like the case was here, they have two choices: Either get to know us to find out why we are quiet, or not say anything about us that is insulting. If they don't do either of these things and insult us, then they are being rude. There is a huge difference between not talking at all, and insulting someone else with your voice. Insulting someone with your voice is far worse.

Thank you guys for the advice. I don't think they were intentionally being rude, I think that they were convinced if they bugged me enough I would start talking. They don't know about my anxiety, so I guess they assumed I was just being dramatic and annoying.
I feel like I need to apologize to them, but now whenever I see their names in the chat I usually talk to them on I get too nervous. There's a couple of these people who I've almost convinced myself I'm becoming friends with, but they can be pretty harsh and I really doubt they're going to accept me anymore.